Welcome to 2020!
I’m exhausted.
RAW (12/30/19)
This was a show with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Only the beginning was any good, but it still definitely had a beginning, a middle, and an end.
Samoa Joe and Kevin Owens settling into their roles as lead babyfaces followed by Aleister Black vs. Buddy Murphy was a promising beginning, but the middle felt uncomfortably dead and then the end was The Wedding. Love camp, but The Wedding felt like pretty cynical camp.
Badass Babyface Samoa Joe is the dream, even if he’s working like Wahoo McDaniel. Joe saving Owens to start the show was real good, and they followed it with Black vs. Murphy who are two guys that are allowed to do some of the more badass stuff on RAW or SmackDown. This was better than the TLC match, as they hit knees to the face and did some generally insane stuff that built into a hot finish that got an actual standing ovation.
Man – Black vs. Brock would be cool.
Becky Lynch did a nice 90s Bret Hart promo in the middle of a terrible middle of the show that had Natalya answering an Open Challenge from Charlotte Flair at the top of the hour, another indie guy get an acting showcase before getting beat by Erick Rowan, and The Street Profits and The O.C. having an uncomfortably dead promo followed by an uncomfortably dead match.
Is Angelo Dawkins OK?
Drew McIntyre beating both Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins (at the same time!) was fun but not a show-saver.
Randy Orton has a LOT of WWE fan goodwill and credibility to pull off what would’ve been a tough promo from nearly anybody else. The injury fake-out on AJ Styles was a neat swerve if not a little “ooo Paul Heyman is booking this.”
Thought Andrade squashing a guy with a little meat on him was a nice move for Andrade, while him vs. Ricochet afterwards being built around a concrete floor bump was something I was very into. It was a good match that felt a little safe, even if Andrade wrecked Ricochet with that flash back elbow.
Then, wedding. Ya. Not as fun as it could’ve been. Going with Liv Morgan in love with Lana was certainly a twist. Felt like a modern day John Travolta movie though, where after everyone wraps they’re like “gosh that was so great we’ve still got it” when to everyone else it just feels out of touch and stupid.
Should’ve had people sitting in seats on the entrance ramp too.
Rating: 3/10
NXT (1/1/20)
Ah, this was the awards show.
Lots of Adam Cole coming out and accepting awards.
No respect for NXT UK either – for shame!
Rating: 2/10
MAIN EVENT (1/1/20)
Looks like Chelsea Green might actually be on the main roster now, though just chilling on Main Event a week in doesn’t seem great. She wrestled Sarah Logan, and they had… well, not a very good match. Mojo Rawley cut a promo before he and No Way Jose had another not very good match.
Not a great start to the year for Main Event!
Rating: 1/10
NXT UK (1/2/20)
They built up TakeOver: Blackpool well enough, had some fun bits in between, and the main event was great. Good job, NXT UK.
Bomber Dave Mastiff beat Kona Reeves who is good and obnoxious but also on occasion still feels like he’ll never be ready. Toni Storm is either going heel or they are really just killing time with her, Piper Niven and Kay Lee Ray until Blackpool. A-Kid checking to see if the camera was alright after Joseph Conners (sigh) interrupted his promo was ADORABLE.
Kassius Ohno spouting “I’m trying to wrestle, he’s trying to fight me!” to the referee as he worked Ligero was a good bit. CM Punk once said, “I don’t like to fight, I like to talk” in a promo on RAW and it got a SHOCKING amount of heat. Ohno won the match with a cravate so I have to respect this and his new gimmick.
The Outliers can both throw a lariat and their match with Ashton Smith & Oliver Carter had a cool finish where Moss got rolled up as stupid tall Matha was going up top and he couldn’t make the save in time.
I prefer grappling to kendo stick shots when it comes to Ilja Dragunov vs. Alexander Wolfe but they still had a pretty great match. Lots of nasty shots and use of weapons, like Wolfe doing dropping Dragunov over his knee with the kendo stick pressed against his throat. There was a finger-break spot with a CHAIR LIP too that was a lot nastier than anything Scurll or Dunne are doing. Dragunov did a lariat as he held his fingers in agonizing pain, then hit a running Death Valley Driver through a table that had been setup all match. Tremendous.
Joe Coffey attacking WALTER from behind with a SPINNING LARIAT afterwards was a god damn embarrassment though.
Rating: 5/10
SMACKDOWN (1/3/20)
SmackDown finally had a newsworthy / interesting show but after they settle into their spots I’m not positive Sheamus, John Morrison and The Usos is the remedy that THIS show needed. The Miz as a heel might be though.
This women’s division too – more sad than bad. It is almost painful to watch SmackDown as Fox News with Sasha Banks and Bayley as Alan Colmes. Bayley’s obviously scripted “I’M A HEEL” promo was so embarrassing I assume she’ll be on Talk is Jericho talking shit in a few months. Dana Brooke just clapping along to Lacey Evans was just as bad. Lacey gets pops now and is absolutely developing but I’m not sure it’s sustainable and SmackDown needs a lot more than someone developing in this key role.
The Triple Threat Tag Match with them and Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross was just stupid. Dana pinning Sasha isn’t the worst thing in the world, but now? HERE?
Otis: “I didn’t [see it], but my mama did” – great line, great delivery.
The wrestling on this show was all solid, a few quick TV matches that might not have been three stars but sure were two. Shorty G and Dash Wilder have worked each other at a high level and put together some perfectly fine, credible wrestling sequences. The Sheamus swerve after with him saving then taking out Shorty (ugh) was nice, with Shorty making sure to land on his head and fold up his body like a dead man.
Kofi Kingston and The Miz have wrestled before, like a lot of times, and they did their thing for a bit before a few nice counters got them to the finish. Frustrated Miz attacking Kofi afterwards was both welcome and unexpected. Daniel Bryan apparently being the only guy immune to turning heel after a feud with The Fiend is a great gimmick – “Good old DB is unbreakable!”
The skilled professional wrestling mechanic used on TV like a weak fool is a tale as old as time, but Drew Gulak really does seem to have presentation (cough) skills that I wish could be utilized more. He gave Otis the best possible TV match he could.
Speaking of foolish mechanics, Cesaro got more time than I thought he would vs. Braun Strowman.
The main event with Bryan and Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin & Dolph Ziggler had some weak opposition for the good guys but the good guys are OVER and that carried the match. The Fiend took out Bryan, Corbin and Ziggler tried to feed Reigns more dog food (ugh), The Usos ran out and made the save. Very cool.
Rating: 6/10
205 LIVE (1/3/20)
Damnit, 205 Live.
The wrestling matches are generally OK, there’s just no incentive to care about the wrestlers or the show beyond Angel Garza ripping off his pants on occasion. I couldn’t imagine watching 205 Live actually… live. I think they dropped the backstage stuff with Drake Maverick too, which isn’t a bad idea as that didn’t seem to help anybody.
Danny Burch vs. Ariya Daivari was your classic 205 Live match, a well-worked enough 15 minutes that could be shown to a training class on what to do to lay things out and work the fundamentals but also what not to do if you want to be a wrestling superstar. They traded taunts, they teased a submission finish, they called back to the submission for the actual finish… it was just dead.
Brian Kendrick is back. He called himself a professional wrestler.
The Singh Brothers squashed a pair of fellows – I saw that Bret Hart turnbuckle bump, Samir!
Angel Garza beat Tony Nese to close the show and Garza is so good that despite acting like a cock his wrestling is so cool that he babyfaces himself, so Nese is in the role of guy slowing it down with a bodyscissors. There were a couple miscues but otherwise this was good, with a few rapid-fire exchanges that popped the crowd. Garza is DEFINITELY in my Fav 5 right now.
Rating: 3/10
WWE TV Match of the Week: Aleister Black vs. Buddy Murphy on RAW or Alexander Wolfe vs. Ilja Dragunov on NXT UK
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Aleister Black
WWE TV Week in Review: Friday made this a vaguely noteworthy week, but there are all kinds of issues preventing any of this from completely working. NXT took a week off, RAW sucked, and 205 Live just endures, so it was up to NXT UK and SmackDown to carry the day. That’s scary. They had alright shows, but just alright. Wish WWE was better than alright.
