Well that’s dumb, The WWE Draft sucked. It was like the top wrestling people didn’t understand sports or the top wrestling people were too busy so they just delegated it to a team that didn’t know much at all. Bliss and Cross announced as traded to SmackDown for “future draft considerations” when signings were happening left or right summed this up: lazy.
Presentation aside, nothing in The WWE Draft feeling important was also an indictment of not many individual acts in WWE feeling important. One would think these new Executive Director roles and more defined rosters and more gimmicks with FOX will help, but I keep thinking things will help and everything stays bad. The most ridiculously amazing crop of talent in the world, just… bad.
And don’t get me started on Saudi Arabia!
RAW (10/14/19)
Stephanie McMahon as announcer of each draft pick wasn’t even The Worst, it was just disappointing. Did they want the Gooddell boos? Is that the vibe they were going for? Or are they just weirdos? We’ll never know.
Draft Night 2 saw RAW select Seth Rollins, Charlotte Flair and Andrade and Zelina Vega, The Kabuki Warriors, Rusev, Aleister Black, Cedric Alexander, Humberto Carrillo, Erick Rowan, Buddy Murphy, Jinder Mahal, R-Truth, Samoa Joe, Akira Tozawa, Shelton Benjamin, Rey Mysterio, Titus O’Neil, and Liv Morgan. SmackDown selected Brock Lesnar, The New Day, Daniel Bryan, Bayley, Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode, Carmella, The Miz, King Corbin, Shorty Gable, and Elias.
The media personality cut-ins were hit-or-miss as usual, though Colin Jost and Michael Che did like a whole bit. Did they write it? Did someone at WWE write it? Who owned this initiative? Who was in charge?
Fuck Jim Cramer though. Or Jon Cramer haha thank you Vic Joseph.
Show opened with Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch turning into Charlotte Flair vs. Becky Lynch. It was really kind of crap for a while, though they got things going at the finish before the rollup to protect the girls and whatnot. Also: that Charlotte tongue taunt… wooooo.
Primary highlight outside of clarity over which wrestlers are going to be wrestling on TV on which nights was The Viking Raiders winning the RAW Tag Team Titles from Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode in a solid match that had a nice near fall off an Ivar top rope splash like two-minutes in that probably should’ve ended it. This was a fine match; I just think they could’ve accomplished just as match in 120 seconds. The Ivar handspring back elbow followed by a Viking Experience ended up a swell finish, but that top rope splash really could’ve done it.
A few of the RAW draft picks had little enhancement matches, which was a swell idea. Andrade wrestled the SmackDown-bound Ali, which featured a lunatic bump by Ali and Zelina Vega reading a very, very, very shitty script. Ricochet beat Shelton Benjamin and Aleister Black beat Eric Young, while Cedric Alexander vs. Buddy Murphy was a fine cliffnotes of their Cruiserweight Title matches. The Cedric tope remains very good. The Kabuki Warriors looked great vs. Natalya & Lacey Evans (I dunno), with Kairi embracing the new role in-ring. Just not sure why they ran this type of match – formula tag with longish heat segment – so late into the night.
The other big thing on the show – incredibly, laughably, horrifically, was good ol’ Universal Champ and Top Guy Seth Rollins going…. “Fiend Hunting.” And I dunno, man – every WWE main event guy has bad stretches of Sports Entertainment, but Seth has a lot of them. The invasion of the Firefly Fun House brought up a lot of questions – for instance: how did he get there?
Either way, he got there, and he said “burn it down” like a really cool guy before he set fire to whereever the Fun House is. I don’t know what to say.
NXT (10/16/19)
It’s challenging to address NXT these days without talking AEW a little bit too, and I’m not sure the compare and contrast is even realistic. NXT on Wednesday nights is just a different show than AEW – a smaller show, not must see, but good wrestlers and a very straightforward presentation. This has been basically all wrestling matches – I guess “no BS” meant no Backstage Stuff.
AEW is doing a similar deal, though not as strict as this. This is wrestling matches and the occasional video package. And the glut of wrestling matches is a hair overwhelming. Everything is good, but this feels very much like the ***1/4 Show and I think that might not be good. Anyways.
As Tommaso Ciampa entered the arena, returning to the ring in his first match after neck surgery, I thought: “Maybe they have something here. This guy should start working like Stone Cold now.” And here he was, stomping mudholes in Angel Garza‘s ass. His clap-and-back-pat taunt brought up frightening memories of Randy Orton’s return from a shoulder injury a decade ago, brought on by his taunt before the RKO where he slammed his hands to the mat wildly, a taunt that could not be stopped for how popular it was despite the clear danger it posed. Garza remains a keeper.
Oney Lorcan & Danny Burch vs. Fabian Aichner & Marcel Barthel was a blast, the kind of match JBL would crow “these guys are fun to watch ha HAAA” after he referenced Dave Taylor or Fit Finlay or Shirley Crabtree. Aichner, despite being jacked, is the most unassuming guy and then BOOM double springboard moonsault. Oney got a big run and the spinebuster to PK combo by Imperium was fun to watch indeed.
It appears as if Velveteen Dream has been written out. Uh oh.
Io Shirai squashed Kayden Carter who remains a person with potential. She took a German suplex right on her head and in 2019 I’m not sure if that is to be commended or condoned.
Keith Lee vs. Dominik Dijakovic had another match and it was good but the shortest one and more about getting to the Roderick Strong interference. Dijakovic throws a mean big boot. Lee did a reverse rana which I thought was kind of stupid.
Matt Riddle vs. Bronson Reed was so straight-up, I loved it. Bronson’s a big guy but Riddle is a strong guy and they just collided. Riddle giving a powerbomb to Reed flipped me out.
Tegan Nox is in a tough position cuz she’s gotta go big cuz she’s kinda new to the scene but also cuz of her knees should should probably go all Keiji Muto save the big stuff for the big shows, giving us charisma and maybe a Shiny Wizard on TV. Tough balancing act. She beat Taynara Conti this week. Did Mauro’s weird-ass “I know I would like to do more than just hand it to her” line on Nox go under the radar?
Shayna Baszler on Tegan Nox: “Let’s be honest, um… you’re running out of limbs to rehab” – OWWWWW.
BOA getting a little angle/promo where he wants revenge on Killian Dain for beating him up last week gave me life. They had a 4-minute match where BOA was all fired up before he got choked out. Good.
Pete Dunne vs. Damian Priest was a crazy match, dude, but the final match on a show filled with crazy matches. Regardless, Dunne brought the usual mix of credibility and preposterousness while Priest showed off that he is indeed a beast man. The finish felt all Dragon Ball Z. Great work.
MAIN EVENT (10/16/19)
I cannot believe there are three commentators on this show. There are usually only four wrestlers on it, as there were this week. The Zack Ryder vs. Mojo Rawley and Sarah Logan vs. Dana Brooke sagas continued, and no one was any better for it.
NXT UK 65 (10/17/19)
With parts of British Strong Style and Imperium shifting to the USA Network and no TakeOver to build to, the UK brand is doing that thing again where they keep having TV shows but nothing really happens. I mean there are new NXT UK Tag Team Champions, but when has that mattered?
Ilja Dragunov vs. Saxon Huxley was a good match for Dragunov where he got to show off his crazy and had Imperium’s Alexander Wolfe observing him from the entrance. I feel like Dragunov needs to stop merely accept the crazy and fully lean into it. Get this man in a room with Vince. Someone tell him he needs to be a rabid, unrelenting sonofabitch.
Amazing week for Aichner & Barthel – first the match with Oney and Burch on NXT, now this match with The Hunt on NXT UK that was even better. It was basically an enhancement match, but with just mean nasty offense by Imperium and a wild spot where Aichner caught a tope. Balls out finish too.
Between Nina Samuels getting in 2 or 3 holds, her and Xia Brookside did a nice reverse suplex and cool cradle finish.
Jordan Devlin ranting on the mic is good, the feud with Bomber Dave Mastiff not so much. Very simulator type angle here.
Mark Andrews & Flash Morgan Webster‘s reign as NXT UK Tag Champs lasted two months, but with what actually happened with it I feel like it could’ve lasted two weeks. They dropped the straps to Gallus, and by Gallus I mean Wolfgang & Mark Coffey, the most basic batch of bearded baddies you ever will see. The match had the occasional good high spot and a vaguely hot finish but what match doesn’t these days? Gallus as tag champs doesn’t exactly get the heart ticking, nope.
SMACKDOWN (10/18/19)
SmackDown on FOX is not off to a very hot start – with the transition from Eric Bischoff to Bruce Prichard it hasn’t been terrible or chaotic or anything, it’s just simmering along. There’s a lot of cool acts but everything is real cold right now. The Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan handshake at the end of the show and direction with them as the two top babyfaces is good stuff, but what surrounds it is a hellscape of a wrestling environment that needs a kick in the ass.
What a Dream Match to kick the show off though, Shinsuke Nakamura defending the IC Title against Roman Reigns. It was nothing spectacular, there were no surprises at all, and yet it was basically the perfect Reigns/Nak WWE TV match – deliberate, stiff, credible, big selling. The Superman punch counter of the Kinshasa was so predictable and so awesome. Sami Zayn holding Daniel Bryan in place for a Kinshasa from Nakamura in the post-match angle was awesome too. What a world.
No, Brodus Clay, I will not subscribe to FOX Nation you boring creep. Go away.
The locker room seems like a strange place to setup a table and make protein pancakes.
I’ll read into Kofi Kingston‘s character when there’s something to read into.
Zero issue with Shorty G as a wrestling name concept but right now, for Chad Gable, for guy who just got one of the more impressive concentrated pushes WWE has given guys that actually got over…… it’s not good. Even if he’s squashing Curtis Axel – it’s not good.
We’ve got Hulk Hogan cutting promos via Skype on WWE TV to promote the Saudi Arabia show. What a world.
New Day & Heavy Machinery vs. The Revival & Ziggler/Roode had Otis dancing with the New Day which was good content, otherwise real surface level 8-man tag.
ALI VIGNETTE!!!
MizTV with Bayley and Sasha Banks was not an ideal follow-up to bad girl Bayley. Bayley should be like Brock Lesnar with Sasha as her Paul Heyman. Or just don’t give Bayley like 10 pages of exposition. Or Bayley saying “Life sucks and then you die” like c’mon guys what’s the demo we’re after here?
The Six-Pack Challenge with Carmella vs. Nikki Cross vs. Dana Brooke vs. Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville vs. Lacey Evans was, like, fine. But also not really. Typical took-a-while-to-get-going and then they got it going with everyone hitting their finish one after another. Still waiting on a breakout from Mandy and Sonya, but Cross getting the nod is cool.
Drew Gulak bringing back the PowerPoint Presentation before being squashed by Braun Strowman was cute, if not horribly depressing.
Oh cool Roman Reigns is the captain of Team Hulk Hogan for the Saudi Arabia show ok.
Reigns & Daniel Bryan vs. Nakamura & King Corbin was also, like, fine. But… also not really. Without a shadow of a doubt: a TV wrestling match.
205 LIVE (10/18/19)
Hey look, it’s the losers who didn’t get drafted!
Brian Kendrick vs. Jack Gallagher – Dug the pre-match attack, and they went hard for 5 minutes. Still stunk.
The Singh Brothers vs. Justin Alexander & Justin Morris – Two Justin’s in one match, my how times have changed. Somehow, a bad squash.
Tony Nese vs. Oney Lorcan vs. Ariya Daivari for a shot at the Cruisereweight Title was a total Oney show. Outworking everybody is basically his shtick, and he was all over the place here just willing it into a good match. As a rule however, try not to close your wrestling show with a shot of Tony Nese.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Fabian Aichner & Marcel Barthel vs. The Hunt on NXT UK
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Fabian Aichner & Marcel Barthel
Not a great start for SmackDown on FOX, and I guess we’ll see what RAW tries on Monday. Just a weak week of TV filled with a bummer of a Draft and the facepalm that is Crown Jewel.
RAW: 3/10
NXT: 6/10
NXT UK: 3/10
SmackDown: 3/10
205 Live: 3/10
