Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends!
To the show by a company with talent galore!
And wrestling that’s becoming too easy to ignore!
A weird old guy in charge surrounded by others like him!
A horrifyingly inefficient corporate structure that will do them all in!
Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends!
Where the joke is right in front of our eyes!
Where the laughter can be seen from the skies!
Where we laugh, until we cry.
Until we die.
Until we die.
RAW (6/17/19)
Awwwwwwww damnit another show that lacked any hope. And while they got Bryan vs. Rollins as a main event, what a soul-crushing lack of in-ring professional wrestling for the live crowd too.
What is the recipe to get us to STOMPING GROUNDS? What’s the hook? This week it appeared to be b>Baron Corbin‘s mystery Special Guest Referee, Paul Heyman teasing Brock Lesnar cashing in Money in the Bank, and one too many shots at the Los Angeles Lakers franchise.
Seth Rollins meanwhile gets to be the Ace who reigned over a weird period where the stock is up but business is down and he has to wrestle these long main events every night because boss man has no idea how to do wrestling anymore.
Stomping Grounds has one of the least exciting PPV build-ups in recent memory, and recent memory includes Tables, Ladders, Chairs and Stairs. There’s just so much time-killing BS going on. The 5-Way with Ricochet, Lashley, Braun, The Miz and Cesaro was a bunch of BS with the most interesting part being Joe snarling on the outside before Miz and Ricochet got a little thing going and Ricochet actually won. Lacey Evans and Becky Lynch sparring on the mic was more BS. The 2/3 Falls stip for New Day vs. Corbin/Owens/Zayn was BS, and it resulted in a forgettable match that led into two other forgettable matches in The IIconics vs. Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross and The Usos vs. Gallows & Anderson. How do you do a wrestling show where The Usos’ match isn’t good??
The thread through the show of Rollins attacking potential Corbin referees wasn’t awful, though it did render guys like EC3, Eric Young and Elias even more useless. Don’t even get me started on Heyman now simply lurking around all, “Hey, something interesting MIGHT happen! Heh heh!”
As for highlights – well, there’s a few things that may or may not go anywhere. McIntyre, Revival and Shane as an actual unit, complete with fashion sense, might be fun if it lasts more than a few weeks. McIntyre beating up his poor old friend Heath Slater was not bad at all either, though a real wrestling company would’ve gotten a hot in-ring angle out of it. Badass Roman Reigns kicking their ass was fun too. Badass Seth Rollins had nothing on Badass Roman Reigns.
The Viking Raiders re-emerged up to wreck some poor locals. Outside of the cute montage at the end, Firefly Fun House provided more chills than usual. And Daniel Bryan showed up as a Wild Card and is just casually still the best, both doing random amazing cold promos on Los Angeles as well as good classic wrestling vs. SethSeth Rollins. The suplex roll-through to the YesLock thing was wild, though the match also very much had a looming feeling of “don’t get too excited lol.”
BAAAARRROOOONNN CCOOOOORRBBBIIIIINNNN
SMACKDOWN (6/18/19)
A decent, slightly less consequential version of RAW. YIKES.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Xavier Woods gave a little nod to their amateur wrestling background, and then they had a solid match that was nothing must-see but not bad at all. Real nice superkick for the finish with Woods passed out on the ropes too.
I’m into them finally giving Nikki Cross a character, but A Moment of Bliss with Bayley wasn’t exactly Emmy-worthy. Nor was the weird segment afterwards where Zelina Vega distracted Apollo Crews so Andrade could attack him and Chad Gable could take notes. Lots
Heavy Machinery beat FORMER TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS The B-Team in a squash match that was highlighted by Daniel Bryan’s reaction to Otis’ Caterpillar move on commentary – “Are you kidding me – I would just move.”
Rollins showing up on SmackDown as a WILD CARD~! to kick B-Team’s ass for even talking to Corbin was kinda cool I guess.
As long as WWE’s going to suck, keeping Aleister Black as far away as possible from arena BS might be for the best. The “SOMEBODY PICK A FIGHT WITH ME” gimmick really ain’t bad, it just requires a decent payoff and I don’t have much faith that’s going to happen.
The Miz cut a legit great babyface promo on Shane, Drew, and Elias, and now I’m quickly realizing they really don’t have any plans for Revival joining up with Shane and they just needed more bodies for Reigns to beat up. DAMNIT.
Though the whole Shane gimmick is rough right now, the use of R-Truth here was brilliant, as Shane told Miz to find a partner and his old partner Truth just so happened to be running around trying to protect his 24/7 Title, so Miz chose him. The match itself… eh. Drew and Elias vs. Awesome Truth ended with an epic Claymore, otherwise it was dead TV.
Ember Moon‘s character apparently being a whiny teenager sure is a choice.
God, how did Drake Maverick finally winning the 24/7 Title feel like any other moment? GOD.
A sudden Trouble in Paradise from Kofi Kingston was a fine way to end the second and final fall of a 2/3 Falls Match when you have around 10 minutes of TV time left, but Kofi and Rollins vs. Owens and Zayn just reeked of the decent midcard match they run before the REAL show begins. Kofi, Rollins, Owens, and Zayn are top-tier talents who despite recent evidence are totally capable of coming across as main event stars… I just don’t know if they are capable of doing it on this particular TV show.
205 LIVE (6/19/19)
An OK 205 Live. Just OK.
The Singh Brothers vs. Lucha House Party was an OK match that didn’t provide much out of the ordinary, outside of Nigel trying to cover up a flub by shouting, “He dodged!” They did the job I’m sure they were sent out to do and I’m sure we’ll get variations of this generic match a lot more over the next few weeks.
I’m not sure what they were trying to do with Noam Dar doing a promo where he claims to be overseas but is really just backstage, but it led to Brian Kendrick getting some screen time and a squash match so I guess I’m OK with it. Kendrick’s 205 run is going to be so weird to look back on – by any normal wrestling measure (heat, success, good matches) it’s a near-failure, but at the same time he brings a credibility to the show and his straightforward wrestling approach stands out in 2019.
Oney Lorcan vs. Ariya Daivari had the usual amazing Oney energy and selling but a long patch of Daivari arm work kept this from even reaching their match a few weeks ago, resulting in another OK but nothing special match.
The show ended with VERY SERIOUS interviews from Tony Nese, Akira Tozawa and Drew Gulak. They were… OK.
NXT UK 48 (6/19/19)
The next few weeks of NXT UK are taped from the Download Festival, so expect inconsequential wrestling in front of an occasionally confused crowd.
Kassius Ohno vs. Kenny Williams was the basic WWE-ized Ohno vs. rookie match you’d expect. Kenny did a Loony Lariat setup to hit a PK that actually looked good, and a couple minutes later Ohno caught another attempt at it and just stomped his ass in the ropes. I liked that.
Imperium is doing what feels like a little too much talking during their first few weeks as a unit, but them droning on and on has them coming off more as goons and not cool ass-kickers so what do I know?
The Hunt vs. Gallus (Wolfgang & Mark Coffey) only lasted a little over 5 minutes but kind of ruled – they cut off the ring for a minute or two because ya just HAVE TO, but otherwise it was finally the crazy brawl you want from The Hunt.
The show was headlined by an NXT UK Women’s Title #1 Contender Battle Royal which, as with any Battle Royal, was nothing special but not counter-productive, and we are seriously getting to a point where Not Counter-Productive means Good. I liked Jinny and Jazzy Gabert‘s dominance and Jazzy’s elimination at the hands of a Piper Niven/Xia Brookside tag team and the finish delivered: Piper and Rhea Ripley had a showdown on the apron, spunky little Xia knocked them to the floor, and as she celebrated Kay Lee Ray snuck in from outside the ring and eliminated here.
NXT (6/19/19)
A very decent show that highlighted the Top Guys and also announced something to introduce some New Guys.
The Undisputed Era traded dialogue with Velveteen Dream, Matt Riddle and Tyler Breeze to open the show and setup the main event, and I’ll tell you what it felt like a main event promo exchange. Good banter, big pops, and a bunch of guys coming across as cool superstars.
I like Damian Priest, the former Punishment Martinez, having like 2 vignettes and then suddenly debuting. He appears to be a direct replacement for whatever they wanted out of Aleister Black. Raul Mendoza again ruled as enhancement talent, flying around and freaking the crowd out then bumping huge for Priest when the time came. Is Priest’s finisher a tall guy Trouble in Paradise!?
NXT Breakout Tournament to introduce a bunch of new guys? Cool!
Mia Yim getting a video to flesh out her character? Cool!
Xia Li vs. Taynara Conti got some time to work with and even if it wasn’t great it spoke the developmental NXT I used to love so much. It was a respectable match with some impressive kick combos by Xia.
The Undisputed Era vs. Dream/Riddle/Breeze was 10-minutes of old school babyface vs. heel fun that got right to the point – Bro kicked some ass, Bro took some heat, everybody got some stuff in and then RODERICK STRONG pinned THE VELVETEEN DREAM. Loved the spot where Riddle fired up, grabbed Cole by throat, and got stomped on his bare foot.
MAIN EVENT (6/19/19)
Sarah Logan vs. Dana Brooke was a bummer. Poor Logan still has The Riott Squad theme, while poor Brooke got busted open which caused their match to end in 90 seconds. What a wild way to kickoff Main Event!
Cedric Alexander vs. Robert Roode was the other match, and I remain a fan of Cedric’s whole thing but even the coolest stuff can feel stale in this environment, especially now that he is clearly holding back on the back elbow spot. They did a handspring into spinebuster counter spot that was very nice, and Cedric took a fine bump when Roode tripped him up on a springboard to setup the Glorious DDT.
WWE TV Match of the Week: I think Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan, but The Hunt vs. Gallus was the best use of time.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: I don’t know, Matt Riddle
This wasn’t as straight-up depressing as the last few weeks but it was definitely another rough batch of TV.
RAW: 3/10
SmackDown: 3/10
205 Live: 3/10
NXT UK: 4/10
NXT: 4/10
