Two amazing Hell in a Cell matches, which is all you can really ask for, despite a whole bunch of Almost Good stuff in the middle.
Kickoff was whatever, fast-forwarding through the cringey banter remains one of life’s great pleasures. Daniel Bryan and Tye Dillinger doing a BIT was great.
0. Shelton Benjamin & Chad Gable vs. The Hype Bros
Rock solid match with a fun finish. Liked all the face vs. face technical exchanges early, Mojo’s massive tilt-a-whirl slam, Gable’s belly-to-belly + moonsault spot, and the Paydirt near fall towards the end. Gable and Mojo especially impressed. **
1. Hell in a Cell – SmackDown Tag Team Title: The New Day (Big E & Xavier Woods) w/ Kofi Kingston [c] vs. The Usos
Non-stop dope shit from creative people. This was THE COOLEST match. And not like “oh, neat!” – it was more like, HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THIS INSANITY. First there were the crazy dives (This is Awesome 2 minutes in!), then there was the fun creativity (colored trombones, a cowbell, a CYMBAL), then there was the straight-up tag wrestling, and then there was the straight-up violent FIGHT. What a feud this has been. I love all these guys, and as each other’s opponents they have found dancing partners they completely excel against. They had some of the best straight-up tags in history, then they had a great Street Fight a few weeks ago, and now they’ve had one of the bet Cell matches ever.
And Kofi is great, but Xavier Woods being E’s tag partner was the sugar on top. Xavier has always been a bit of a wildcard – the clear “third man” of The New Day for a while, though a clear Ideas Man and hustler who is completely solid in the ring and legit great when given some time to go. Here he got the time. Tremendous milking of the FUN!! spots early as if he was the freakin’ Boogie Woogie Man, big credibility as it turned into a brawl (those EYES) and just epic selling of the damage from the kendo stick beating he took and exhaustion from the CELL.
THE KENDO STICK JAIL SPOT. THE KENDO STICK JAIL SPOT!!!!!
So much good stuff here – New Day trying to go for the Midnight Hour repeatedly early, the INSANE Orton/Cena handcuff kendo stick spot for poor Woods, BIG E SMASH, the perfectly timed kickouts towards the end off the Big Ending and double Superfly Splashes, and Woods just taking a BRUTAL handcuffed assault towards the end leading to the finish.
THE DOOMSDAY DEVICE TOPE SUICIDA!! A DOOMSDAY. DEVICE. TOPE. SUICIDA. ****3/4
2. Randy Orton vs. Rusev
Hey! They actually had a match! And it was pretty good. Randy, though rarely heading to second gear, is the master of doing just enough to have an over match. Rusev meanwhile has all the skills, he’s just a little cold right now. Just like the match. Pretty good though. Pretty, pretty good. **3/4
3. Triple Threat Match – WWE U.S. Title: AJ Styles [c] vs. Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin
A good enough Triple Threat match with AJ Styles working his ass off trying to re-create that 2016 magic. Am consistently amazed and concerned that this 40-year-old man continues to be one of the best bumpers in the world. Baron Corbin on offense in the middle though – YIKES. Tye was kind of a non-factor, to be honest… kept things moving, as he does, but I am writing this three days after the show and can’t remember a thing he did, to be honest. Hot finish. Corbin winning was a legit surprise, though it’s disappointing that AJ’s Open Challenge never took off. ***
4. SmackDown Women’s Title: Natalya [c] vs. Charlotte Flair
I’ve always liked how Charlotte and Natty work with each other, as they go hold-for-hold and it feels all legit. This is mostly Natalya working over Charlotte’s leg and it is all perfectly fine and stuff. Natalya is all mean and shit and Charlotte always reminds you how much her leg hurts, though she’s still not fully clicking as a face. Her rollout of the Sharpshooter towards the end was NICE. And then they did a DQ finish and it was OK I guess. **3/4
Fashion Files: Back 2 Basics
The POP as “Fashion Files” rolled across the screen was so great. YAY FOR THE ASCENSION GETTING A ROLE SOMEWHERE. This is Fuji Vice Reborn, baby, and it is wonderful.
5. WWE Title: Jinder Mahal [c] w/ The Singh Brothers vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Man. This was fine, but it was more an Acceptable Match vs. anything that was actually good. Nakamura did some sweet counters and for once seemed game to do some STUFF, and I’m not totally opposed to Jinder’s Boring Wrestler shtick in between all the Nak stuff. Classic “YOU’RE OUTTA HERE!” ref spot towards the end. Nak looked like a total geek at the finish, oh well. ***
6. Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler’s No Theme thing is kinda neat. Maybe? I don’t know. This was so so basic, very much a House Show Match that clicked more than most of the other stuff on the show, even though it was in no way designed to be anything more than a bunch of headlocks. **1/4
7. Falls Count Anywhere Hell in a Cell Match: Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens
This is why Kevin Owens is a god damn superstar – he 100% delivers in big ass crazy matches like this. I love that this show had two all-timer Hell in a Cell matches and they were completely different kinds of spectacle. The tag was wild brutal insanity, this was a match between Big Brawl Kevin and Shane-O-Mac that was built all around teasing to big Cell spots.
This was like a meta Hell in a Cell, and not in a bad way. The crowd knew what they wanted, buzzed as they thought they were getting it, and freaked when they finally did.
Lots of great character stuff from Owens… trying to escape from Shane by locking himself in the Cell, mocking Shane in front of his CHILDREN, his reservations on top of the Cell. Shane meanwhile in his late-40s has pumped out two of his best wrestling performances ever… Mania vs. AJ and now this. He busted out the Shooting Star Press, got a damn standing ovation for a swinging DDT, and kept up with KO on all the brawling.
All the big Cell moments were teased and delivered perfectly – the leaving of the Cell, the top of the Cell, and finally the big fall off the Cell. Adored the camera shot of KO setting up the senton off the barricade, only to decide to climb the Cell. The buzzing in the crow as both guys headed up top was so great, and man did everything on top of the Cell rule – every bump up top felt so dangerous (thanks, Mick!), capped off by a freaking pop-up powerbomb. Shane’s big dive off the top of the Cell might feel cheap, but you just can’t deny the insanity. The Sami Zayn heel turn reveal was fucking AWESOME, too. We all thought KO would eventually turn face for Sami…….. NOPE. FRIENDSHIP LIVES.
****1/2
Talking Smack was OK thanks to the Usos, but PETE ROSENBERG hosting over Daniel Bryan when Daniel Bryan is in the building, fuck off.
Needed one killer regular match in the middle to put it over the top, but this was a great show with two completely incredible Hell in a Cell matches.
8/10
