Yeah Kenny Omega killed it over the weekend, but…
A wronged babyface with motivation, a perennial undercarder getting a title shot, the emergence of the only man not afraid of Brock Lesnar…
A brief tease of the old Ace vs. the new Ace, an incredible rap battle (!?), comeuppance for a human turd…
Drama, excitement, a whole lot of laughs…
…and some good solid TV professional wrestling. Nobody does it like World Wrestling Entertainment.
RAW (7/3/17)
4 legitimately good matches, compelling angles and promos, a final hard sell for an incredible PPV line-up, defined roles for previously aimless lower card guys… fuck yeah, RAW.
Although, counter-point: did Kurt Angle really not have his semi-main and main event planned out until half-way through the show? This texting scandal is getting out of hand.
I absolutely love it that New Japan threw out a bunch of professional wrestling at everybody this weekend and Vince McMahon was like fuck you I’m starting RAW with ENZO.
Glad he did.
Sometimes you forget Enzo Amore is the best promo in wrestling. Guy is very professional wrestling, very over-the-top in a way not a lot of folks are these days. He’s one of the only guys that gets anywhere close to feeling like he’s on another planet ala a Piper or Savage.
Enzo Amore does this thing backstage alongside David Crockett in front of a camera in 1985 and we’re still talking about it today. Great lines, passion, a perfect follow-up to being turned on as this is now a man with MOTIVATION. Love how he has defined his new goal: against all odds Enzo Amore wants to go to the TOP. “I have crawled out of holes way taller than seven feet” – HUGE POP. 2-Pac thing a little ham-fisted but this was 24-karat gold.
The joy in watching Nia Jax wrestle right now is her starting to get IT – the spotlight is on and she’s performing, baby. She and Alexa vs. Sasha and Bayley wasn’t much but did everything it needed to to at least move the story forward – Bayley taken out, Sasha sells, Sasha taps Alexa. Bayley getting taken to the back early was a hook, I guess, but more AWWWWW poor Bayley. This is like when they cooled off Eddie Guerrero in late-2003 which actually got him more over, if they had also made Eddie look like a complete piece of trash.
Poor Ceddy Alexander getting WHAT chants. He vs. Noam Dar had a cool counter of the reverse rana by Dar, I guess, kicking Cedric and whatnot, but it was a dead 205 Live match. RAW’s been on fire lately, but the Noam Dar/Alicia Fox saga is like the Dorne parts of Game of Thrones.
MizTV was more tremendous work by Michael Mizanin. The Miz spitting truths on Dean’s promise as the next Roddy Piper vs. him becoming Wacky Dean Ambrose, telling Dean he can’t handle success, all said slicked back hair steel blue eyes a white suit and a white title belt on his shoulder = incredible.
Heath Slater had himself a good promo too, spitting his own truths about never having a singles title and doing this for his KIDS. One of my favorite parts of RAW the last couple weeks has been them finding actual roles for the former Social Outcasts, Rhyno, Apollo Crews and Titus O’Neil… all have gone from eye-roll inducing to real contributors.
Heath Slater vs. The Miz for the IC Title was AWESOME. Heath Slater, kicking tire since 2010, had himself a RUN against The Miz while Miz wore destination wedding clothes, and it was a blast. Heath is a guy who’s put in so many stale positions, but when it matters – him and Rhyno’s tag run, and now this title shot against Miz – he reminds you that this fella has been wrestling in the WWE system for a decade and knows exactly what he is doing. Heath out-wrestling Miz, ripping off his shirt for some chops, Miz bailing then taking over, big near falls for Heath including a powerslam from the god damn top rope… this was good stuff.
All I want sometimes is for my wrestling to make sense, and a lot of RAW has been making a shocking amount of sense lately – case in point the finish with Rhyno being a gentleman and making sure he didn’t run into Maryse, paying for it by getting attacked by the Miz-Tourage (still a stupid name), and Heath getting dropped with the SCF for the 3.
Crews Can’t Lose sounds like some shit Heyman came up with.
This show had Dustin Rhodes in the weird gold and black body suit he’s been wearing for twenty years sitting on a director’s chair in the ring telling people to shut up. Great shit.
Not positive a 30-minute Iron Man Match between two teams who have had pretty disappointing matches was what the stacked Great Balls of Fire card needed, but here we are.
Rollins beating Hawkins with one move wasn’t a bad use of Rollins.
Brock Lesnar/Samoa Joe sit-down interview was THE COOLEST FUCKING THING. Samoa Joe is making wrestling real in 2017. He calls Brock CHAMP. Brock decides to actually TALK and address this man. Joe says LET’S GO CHAMP and the crowd POPS like they’re watching Stone Cold Steve Austin. Only a special few can make stupid pro wrestling feel completely legitimate and Joe is now on that list. Loved him ripping off the mic and going after Brock, confronting Brock and Heyman and getting DRAGGED AWAY. “LET’S GO SUPLEX CITY I’M JACKIN’ THE RENT UP!” Fucking AAAWWWEEESSSOOMMMEEE.
Neville and Mustafa Ali have an epic in them, on this show they had a fine TV match with Neville being a methodical fuck and Ali trying to bump his way into Vince McMahon’s heart. The final clothesline into the brutal Rings of Saturn and CRAZY EYES was incredible. Neville is so good right now.
Cesaro vs. Finn Balor was like a fast food version of Cesaro and Balor’s gourmet meal. Euro uppercuts and chops, cool Cesaro strength spots, chinlocks, interference, monotone Hardy Boyz commentary… this was some neat stuff around your standard RAW bullshit.
Braun Strowman vs. Apollo Crews was one part good match and one part an incredible thing to sit back and marvel at, with two fellas who haven’t been around more than two years years main eventing Monday Night RAW. It was also another example of RAW tightening their shit up lately, as Titus Worldwide has been established and WWE folk were able to use two guys who six months ago were total jobbers to get Braun over more.
They kept it moving, Titus was coaching Apollo on the outside which led to Apollo being ballsy and slapping Braun, and it had the god forsaken standing moonsault counter by Braun, with Apollo taking an incredible bump on his head to put it over the top and create a legendary GIF. Pretty fun to see Braun figure out how to be a good big guy all this time too – using the ropes for momentum to set up spots, making Crews work to bring him down.
Roman Reigns and Strowman brawled again cause they just don’t like each other, and Roman speared Braun off the damn stage. Both guys standing tall at the end of the big bump as the show faded out was AWESOME.
SMACKDOWN (7/4/17)
John Cena not returning with a new t-shirt … the subtle sign of his waning relevance.
Big Match John is back and even if it was a pretty run-of-the-mill I’M BACK promo, he also said that he’s “not a part timer [but] an all-timer” and called out all the top guys including Big Match Roman, so I am Hyped, Bro. Loved the massive pop for Rusev confronting Cena too. Where WAS Rusev’s comeback commercial!? Standard stuff here, but cool to see these guys back.
AJ Styles vs. Chad Gable was a fun little match though oh man is WWE hard-selling it as some kind of classic. It was a bunch of fun stuff packed into a little over 5 minutes, a very fun enhancement match. The ankle lock counter of the Styles Clash was wild. Still waiting for the AJ classic post-Mania, to be honest.
EmoJo Rawley!
James Ellsworth getting suspended is a fun follow-up to the Money in the Bank shenanigans. Ellsworth gets his punishment – somebody’s been listening to Wade Keller and Stone Cold Steve.
God, Lana getting a SmackDown Women’s Title rematch via a photo of her shoulder being up is incredible. You can take the wrestling out of the South, but you can’t take the South out of the wrestling. Naomi taps Lana in seconds – someone decided to put some steam on her and it is great.
The Usos vs. New Day Rap Battle with Wale was beautiful. Usos’ terrifying entourage and tandem freestyle, New Day’s dad jokes, legit OHHHHHHH’s from the crowd. Must-watch.
Randy Orton had himself a satisfying squash match against Aiden English, complete with Aiden pre-bell attack and Randy getting DQ’d cause he’s so fired up. And hey they finally said Jinder is hated not because he’s brown but because he’s a jackass and that is a fine payoff to Jinder/Randy’s last angle, “Is This Supposed to be Racist?”
The Sami Zayn vs. Kanellis interactions continue being great. Sami doing physical comedy now, they might finally be figuring out Sami Zayn. “Oh my god I’ve gotta go!”
Love a well-booked Battle Royal, especially a well-booked Independence Day Battle Royal. Harper takes out Dolph first (whoa), Breeze jumps into Fandango’s arms (awesome), Mojo eliminates Harper (big), Hype Bros take out Rowan (nice), Mojo takes out Ryder (wow!), everybody takes out Mojo (hype!), Sami/AJ/Tye final 3 (oooh!), Sami/AJ last (OOOOHHH!). Zayn’s Helluva kick where he landed on the apron was WILD. A fun silly way to get back to Styles vs. Owens.
TALKING SMACK (7/4/17)
Pretty tame Daniel Bryan episode of Talking Smack outside of him again bringing up the Xavier Woods video. Naomi had an interview, Maria & Mike Kanellis had an interview (and Bryan referenced Mike Bennett), and AJ Styles had an interview. #AJStylesWienerChallenge
205 LIVE (7/4/17)
Like the idea of Titus O’Neil hustling on 205 Live but this show stunk, even if it did have another awesome Neville squash. A wrestling show REALLY stinks when it actually has some decent wrestling and it still feels dead.
YOU’RE NOT STROWMAN chants for Neville oh my god Braun is so over.
Vic Joseph wore Titus O’Neil’s hat and sunglasses at one point.
Neville vs. Lince was, again, another awesome Neville squash. It was a lot like their one from last week’s RAW, where Neville slowly and methodically kicked ass as he stared down the guy he’s feuding with outside, but it also had more neat flying and Lince reminding you he can also do some cool chain wrestling shit. Powerbomb to the Rings of Saturn finish was SO awesome.
Tony Nese vs. Jack Gallagher was a match. Nese does a stupid move now that’s basically him forcing a guy to hug his head. Gallagher’s reaction to the Kendrick “A History of Britain” promo after the match was all of us.
There was a good match within TJP vs. Rich Swann but I didn’t care enough to find it. Had its moments but also had lots of TJP on offense. Went kinda long and never got me.
NXT (7/5/17)
This show was mostly hype for a title match and said title match.
Itami/Ohno vs. SAnitY was the only other match. It was OK. Served its purpose of getting to Itami vs. Ohno. Itami and Ohno doing a repeated boot/kick combo to Wolfe in the corner made me wonder how different wrestling could be. Both these fellas on top, kicking around lead heel CM Punk, who’s still around and managed by the Blue Meanie, because that’s just how life is sometimes.
I liked enough of Bobby Roode vs. Roderick Strong. It hit the right notes – leg work, backbreakers, cut-offs, near falls, wife in front row. For an Arn Anderson TV Title match cosplay I don’t think it had enough intensity tyhough. Some solid leg work by Bobby, and Roddy’s comeback run towards the end was sweet.
Also watched the Aliyah vs. Bianca BelAir Mae Young Classic qualifier they showed clips of on this show, and put up for full on YouTube. It was a showcase for Bianca – ponytail snap to the stomach that popped the crowd, stretching, butterfly lock. Nice northern lights by Aliyah in there somewhere too. Oh and there was a lady ref! If you want funny, check out Tuesday Night Titans #24 where they introduce the WWF’s very own lady referee.
MAIN EVENT (7/5/17)
Not sure I tune out more watching WWE these days than when Ariya Daivari is on offense. Although, the last time I said that about a guy it was Jinder Mahal, so what the fuck do I know. Daivari wrestled Rich Swann on this episode of Main Event. Yep.
Kalisto vs. Scott Dawson was very good, though it really couldn’t be bad. Stocky old school guy vs. athletic Lucha guy is a classic wrestling. Kalisto is a fun spectacle around the Scott Dawson Show – pulling the apron for assistance, tearing at Kalisto’s mask so he can trap his arm and drop a knee. Why is reacting to moves and staring a hole through your opponent considered old school? Shouldn’t that just be considered being a wrestler?
The commercial break cuts the arm work, and comes back with Kalisto starting a run, flying all over the place, until a Dash distraction leads to a clothesline on the apron. Dawson tries to follow that up with a slingshot suplex and Kalisto catches an inside cradle for 3. Short, to the point, absolutely a Main Event Match Worth Watching.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Lots of really good TV wrestling this week, but Heath Slater vs. The Miz stood out the most. It was the most complete match of all of them too.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: SAMOA JOE!!!!!!
Great week of TV. RAW and SmackDown have their inherent faults but for what they do they were firing on all cylinders. Fun to watch, compelling angles, guys getting over, PPV hard sell – YUP.
RAW: 9/10
SmackDown: 8/10
205 Live: 4/10
NXT: 6/10
