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Happy Thoughts – NJPW New Japan Cup Night 5 (6/24/20)

1. New Japan Cup – Round 2: Yoshinobu Kanemaru vs. Taiji Ishimori
Kanemaru and Ishimori have met a bunch of times in singles matches and tags over the last 15 years and I remember really liking their chemistry 15 years ago. 5 years ago, 1 year ago, now in 2020 – not so much. Ishimori is even more bulked up and Kanemaru more understated. They went with Ishimori as the babyface, an ideal choice that worked well enough in an OK match that felt extra generic. **1/2

2. New Japan Cup – Round 2: Togi Makabe vs. Tomohiro Ishii
Togi Makabe is 47 years old and able to deliver a northern lights suplex hold with a perfect neck bridge to 220-pound Tomohiro Ishii. It’s crazy! Astounding! The match was good too. There’s not many surprises anymore from these old men, but the match you expect is still really great even without a crowd. They ran into each other, used momentum to run into each other some more, and just wore each other down with nasty strikes over 13 minutes. Actually, there’s a surprise – they only went 13 minutes. Brilliant. ***1/2

3. Hiroshi Tanahashi, Kota Ibushi & Ryusuke Taguchi vs. Taichi, Zack Sabre Jr. & DOUKI
The good guys attacked Suzuki-gun before the bell before things normalized and Tanahashi got his leg worked over. Taguchi and DOUKI pulled off some cool stuff towards the end, but Tanahashi got sick of Taguchi wasting time and dropped DOUKI with a Sling Blade before telling him to get his ass up and win the match. He did. **1/2

4. New Japan Cup – Round 2: Toru Yano vs. Hiromu Takahashi
I wasn’t familiar with the Yano/Hiromu young lion haircut backstory until Captain Lou smartened me up right before this match, which I find pretty great because the other day when Hiromu was avoiding him I completely bought that Toru Yano was the one guy he’s scared of just because Hiromu Takahashi is a freak. As it turns out, he’s deathly afraid of his beautiful pink locks being stolen from his head so they had a match based around threats with hair clippers.

Eventually, Yano ties Hiromu’s legs to a Young Lion and clips a lock of hair. This grants Hiromu angry super strength, so he drags the Young Lion to beat on Yano then drags the Young Lion to the ring to beat the countout and win the match. A ridiculous good time, if not a hair drawn out. **3/4

5. New Japan Cup – Round 2: Kazuchika Okada vs. Yuji Nagata
Okada and Nagata wait for the bell to ring aware of the circumstances, aware of how ridiculous all this is but at the same time insistent on giving it their all. Yuji Nagata is old and past his prime, Kazuchika Okada is young and in his prime, and there are no fans in the crowd. Young Okada appears to be the better man for a while and Nagata knows it – watch Blue Justice’s disappointment when he falls into the corner from an Okada elbow.

Before long though Nagata is firing back and finding his rhythm, which they play with well. Okada’s eventual response with a shotgun dropkick feels desperate. The work never feels high-end or super physical or even really important, but it’s more credible than most matches with a crowd – before Okada was the facial expressions guy, Nagata was. Their reactions alone make up for any lack of precision or connection, not that there’s a ton of it.

Okada begins to go for the close, dropping the tombstone and SMILING as he lifts Nagata for the Rainmaker… only for Nagata to drag him into the Nagata Lock II! Okada gets to the ropes and Nagata has to eat some elbows, but he absolutely pastes Okada back with a slap. Okada decides he has to get clever and tries to catch Nagata with a rare Rainmaker Outta Nowhere, but Nagata DUCKS and hits the backdrop suplex hold for a near fall. This ends up being his last gasp, as Okada locks in that new submission he’s using and wins. Tremendous wrestling. ****

Happy Thoughts: Makabe/Ishii and Okada/Nagata are keepers, while Yano/Hiromu is a good time. Quality show. 7/10