Today, we only have time for tournament matches because society could collapse any minute.
Rising HAYATO vs. Ryo Inoue – Junior Battle of Glory
I’m extremely confident these two will have a much better match down the road, but as a 5-minute Osaka Edion Arena #2 opening ODYSSEY – this still did the trick. The early section was especially tight, both guys finding snappy ways to one-up each other until young Ryo landed the mother of all soccer kicks for your viewing pleasure. The rest of Inoue’s offense looked better in all of his other tournament matches and I wish HAYATO wouldn’t wait so long before hitting the Sid Vicious but HEY! That’s enough complaining for today. ***
Hikaru Sato vs. Hokuto Omori – Junior Battle of Glory
Instagram nudist Hikaru Sato had a terrific title defense against Omori when he held junior gold earlier this year. This crammed similar tropes into the JBOG’s time gimmick – Hikaru staying on the arm like a shark, Hokuto having to come up with clever counters to survive. Omori keeps getting better at the annoyingly nerdy concept known as The Little Things. Yes, I am referring to his capacity to sell the arm like a man who knows he is being watched by people on the Internet. ***1/4
Atsuki Aoyagi vs. Dan Tamura – Junior Battle of Glory
Straight-up one of the better matches of the whole JBOG and a top-tier performance from Child of Divorce Dan Tamura. Few things in wrestling work as well as stylistic opposites and these young fellas are just that. A supremely well-executed clash between Aoyagi’s pink-haired gymnastics and Dan’s pint-sized powerhousing – Tamura pushing the champ to the limit and supplying mass carnage in the process (APRON DEATH VALLEY~!). That ending stretch couldn’t have made me more excited about a potential final opposing these two. ***1/2
Jake Lee & Yuma Aoyagi vs. Yuji Nagata & Yuma Anzai – Real World Tag League
This was uuuuh pretty great!? Old man Nagata lit a god damned fire under The Neutral Gentleman Jake Lee and it led to a wide array of pissed off strike-throwing and assorted shit-talking. Jake wisely used this tense setting to bring back bits and pieces of his Total Eclipse persona without going overboard with the method acting. Good balance between the Laughter-Based drama and Tall Person dominance. The other big highlight here was Jake closing the match with Anzai and letting the supernova go wild. I am constantly blown away by the main-event caliber timing on Anzai’s suplexes. Enjoyed all of this. ***1/2
Suwama & KONO vs. Koji Doi & Kuma Arashi – Real World Tag League
Is Wada Kyohei gonna’ have to choke a bitch? This was the question that ran through my mind as I once again witnessed Voodoo Murders explore the depths of the Ring-side Brawling subgenre. The amusing Protagonist Wada spots and DoiKuma babyface comebacks couldn’t save this one. **1/4
Kento Miyahara & Takuya Nomura vs. Shuji Ishikawa & Cyrus – Real World Tag League
Hell of a good time to wrap up this seventh day of the REALEST World Tag League. Miyaken To Takuya’s comedic babyface approach meshed seamlessly with Monster Inc’s Big Dude tropes. In other words, your favorites got thrown around and had to claw their way to a feel-good victory. As dumb as it is in on paper, some thought clearly went into Takuya’s arc during this tournament. From pure discomfort to the complete acceptation and subsequent USAGE of the Kento Clap Pattern Hulk-Up. Scorsese would approve such cinematic storytelling. ***1/2
