It’s the summertime and a couple weeks ago I didn’t secure our garbage can lids well. Long story short, we came into a lot of house flies.
Why do I say this? Because in some ways I’ve become a more complex man but in many other ways I’m simpler than I’ve ever been. I don’t need everything to make sense, but do appreciate any efforts people make to get to cut through “the noise” and get to “the point.”
Which brings us to the night that Tam Nakano and Natsupoi battled inside a Steel Cage.
When we last left Stardom, Syuri and Saya Kamitani had once again successfully defended their championships as an assortment of up-and-comers continued rising, new faces continued appearing, and those that were otherwise around continued to be pretty much that, still.
This show and these Steel Cage matches took place in Nagoya.
1. 3-Way Battle: Unagi Sayaka vs. Waka Tsukiyama vs. Ruaka
Youth. Angst. Charisma. Though tonight was headlined by Stardom’s first ever Cage Match(es), it began with the usual few minutes of wrestling moves, some or most of them relying on more suspension of disbelief than you’d hope. **
2. Saya Iida & Momo Kohgo vs. Lady C & Miyu Amasaki
It’s the Stars vs. Queen’s Quest! Saya Iida is a four-foot-eight stocky badass who flexes, Momo Kogho is a spark plug who jumped from Ice Ribbon earlier this year, Miyu Amasaki is a 19-year-old who started wrestling three months ago, and Lady C continues looking for another attribute other than tall. Lady and Iida trading chops was still a sight. Good showcase for some rising stars in match number two. ***
3. Mina Shirakawa vs. Himeka
Mina Shirakawa is one of Stardom’s more… bubbly competitors, but here she fought a god damn grudge match. The intensity was high and the strikes connected — the pretty girls were kicking so much ass. ***1/4
4. 3-Way Elimination Match – Artist of Stardom Title: Momo Watanabe, Starlight Kid & Saki Kashima [c] vs. Giulia, Maika & Mai Sakurai vs. Syuri, MIRAI & Ami Sorei
The champs represent Oedo Tai, which if the name didn’t give it away are bad guys with a flair for being dipshits. Giulia leads DDM, while Syuri split from her a few months ago to start God’s Eye (so dramatic). They all gathered here for a Triple Threat Tag Team Elimination Match with three girls in the ring at one time (usually) and the option to eliminate someone by throwing them over the top rope.
The setup was a little much but the first couple eliminations were so dramatic they got funny and everyone seemed to have a pact to avoid any lull in action, delivering rapid-fire exchanges and car crash bumps bell to bell. ***3/4
5. Cage Match: Tam Nakano vs. Natsupoi
The Steel Cage Match is one of pro wrestling’s coler options, a concept so simple and cool it shouldn’t need explanation. Somewhere along the way the market got a little oversaturated, but Stardom had their first go at it here and they went big: not only did they do two of them, but one of them was among the best matches of this year or any year.
Calling back to the story of garbage and house flies from earlier, Stardom constant Tam Nakano took on Stardom up-and-comer Natsupoi and they delivered a 25-minute Cage Match that cut through all the noise: annoying buzzing, occasional insect massacres, stressors of professional or personal nature and the overabundance of safe and boring steel cage matches.
It didn’t allow for much noise anyways, and that’s not a pun referring to the restrictions on crowd reactions. The quiet remained, but it didn’t matter – thanks to a perfect combination of violence and practicality, their point got across. Before the bell Nakano was staring a hole through Natsupoi and when it rang she grabbed her by the head and threw her face into the cage – the first move.
Every opening Nakano got she’d try to kick, drag or toss poor Natsupoi’s face into the cage’s mesh wire, which had more give than your average wrestling cage. Natsupoi threw herself into bump against it with a reckless enthusiasm, and the entire shaky setup somehow found a balance between occasionally concerning and cool as hell.
After taking her punishment like a champ Natsupoi finally found an opening by dropkicking Nakano off the top turnbuckle into the violent steel. She didn’t follow up with some babyface rally, either — this was ON. She rubbed Nakano’s face in the cage and threw her into it multiple times, basically ticking off every possible box of revenge from Nakano’s attacks earlier. Then after all of that she scaled the cage and dropped a double foot stomp. The audacity of Let’s Freaking Go!
She scored a 3-count off a fancy victory roll then climbed the cage to try and escape, and that’s right: in Stardom’s Cage Match you’ve got to pin your opponent and then escape. It was an extra wrinkle that didn’t complicate things at all, especially when Nakano stopped Natsupoi’s climb by wilding out and giving her a backdrop suplex that sent them both into the cage, then right into that small scary area between the ropes and cage.
That move led to Nakano getting a pin too, then more escape attempts. When they both ended up on top of the cage Natsupoi won the struggle and knocked Nakano all the way down to the mat, though Natsupoi herself fell down right after. Only after all this and a little more slamming each other’s face into the cage did they start going for the kill with suplexes and superkicks and – gasp – a Steiner Screwdriver.
Natsupoi its’ the poor recipient, and though she was somehow able to stand and try to follow Nakano back to the top of the cage, Nakano was waiting for her with the hangman Dragon Sleeper that, combined with another long fall down, put Natty down long enough for Nakano to scale down the cage and reach the floor. *****
6. Cage Match: Utami Hayashishita, Saya Kamitani & AZM vs. Mayu Iwatani, Hazuki & Koguma
Mayu Iwatani and her fellow Stars entered this 6-woman Steel Cage Match wearing sweatpants, Iwatani herself looking particularly apprehensive – a theme that carried through the match, as she was always either trying to escape or score a pin. Their opponents Queen’s Quest are the cool kids, with a glamor that seems effortless until you think about how much they had to spend on entrance gear alone.
This was lacking the weight and violence of Nakano/Natsupoi but it was more straightforward, just a bunch of wild action with six quality wrestlers running ropes and hitting dropkicks and kipping up in a Cage… an absolute sight. AZM and Koguma ended up the last two and AZM did a double footstomp off the top of the cage (just like Natsupoi!), though it seemed to hurt her just as much as Koguma who scaled the cage and freaking leaped to victory with a plancha on everyone who had already escaped. ***1/2
0. Tam Nakano vs. Natsupoi (6/28/22)
Nakano and Natsupo had a rematch two days later at Korakuen Hall that lost the cage but kept the violence. Every move and decision felt extra nasty or intense or just plain salty. Natsupoi tore the floor mats up only for Nakano to slam her body on concrete and knee her face into the ring post. Their slap exchange later on echoed in the Korakuen quiet, slaps that Natsupoi eventually decided to try and absorb before Nakano switched to just punching her scalp.
Natsupoi fired back with a spin kick, German suplex, falcon arrow, and three or four twisting splashes before a straitjacket suplex – the Fairy Strain – was what it took to give her a wildly gratifying victory. Appreciate the big match greatness of Tam Nakano and welcome to the club, Natsupoi. ****1/4
Happy Thoughts: Tam Nakano and Natsupoi’s Cage Match was so good that the rest was just a bonus, but the bonus was so good too. Even on a show with just one title on the line, Stardom was firing on all cylinders. 5.0 / 5.0
