C’mon c’mon, c’mon c’mon…
On those Saturdays when kids go out and play,
Yo I was up in my room I let the stereo blaze,
Wasn’t faded, not jaded…
Just a kid with a pad and pen and a big imagination!
ALL THIS, I SEEK, I FIND…
I push the envelope to the line…
MAKE IT, BREAK IT, TAKE IT…
Until I’m overrated!
CLICK, CLICK BOOM!
I’m coming down on the stereo…
Hear me on the radio…
CLICK, CLICK BOOM!
I’m coming down with the new style and you know it’s buck wild…
CLICK, CLICK BOOM!
I’m on the radio station touring round the nation…
Leaving the scene in devastation…
1. Yota Tsuji vs. Gabriel Kidd
Five shows in, the G1 Climax 30 Young Lion Trio is still a highlight. The boys REALLY fought over a headlock to captivate the crowd and they closed up real well with a finish where Tsuji revved up, ran into a dropkick, and Kidd hit his double underhook suplex for the win. That thing is going to gain a reputation. **1/4
2. G1 Climax – Block A: Taichi vs. Yujiro Takahashi
About 5 minutes into this match my son walked up to the phone it was playing on, picked it up, took in about 2.5 seconds of Taichi trying to escape a bite attack from Yujiro, then handed it back to me and I swear he said “MISS.” I mean I watched this whole thing and even I was tempted to drop it all and go on a much more compelling search for the “Green Van.” The match wasn’t terrible, but it didn’t add much to the whole presentation of the G1 Climax, of New Japan, of pro wrestling in general.
The crowd was polite… almost too polite. Yujiro lazily snapmared Taichi to the ground and hit a seated kick with all the energy of Ben Carson brushing his teeth, then when he got up they CLAPPED. They did the same for a lot of this, like they were playing their own part in a wrestling match that had the beats if not the execution. And not really anything else either. I appreciate everyone is willing to play along, but I still don’t think it was any good. Wish my son stayed for the finish though – got pretty good for a second there. *3/4
3. G1 Climax – Block A: Minoru Suzuki vs. Jeff Cobb
Minoru Suzuki might take more careful bumps than usual these days but he also provided a less complicated, more straightforward Jeff Cobb match and for that I appreciate him. I also appreciate like everything else about him. Cobb lifting Suzuki into a backbreaker setup, then tombstone setup, then powerslam setup for an Oklahoma Stampede was impressive too. Suzuki still took a few suplexes because the people deserve their money’s worth, but a Gotch Piledriver sealed it – praise the LORD. **1/2
4. G1 Climax – Block A: Kota Ibushi vs. Tomohiro Ishii
They packed so much into this match that I furrowed my brow when I read it went only 15 minutes. How!? They delivered the most straight-up G1 CLIMAX match of the tournament so far, the kind of match where they put it all out there then went backstage after and laid on the floor in a crippling silence.
This was Ishii vs. Ospreay with Ishii against somebody not afraid to hit back. Ibushi absorbed endless elbows and chops early, transitioning seamlessly from a guy wanting to prove his worth to a guy really sick of Ishii’s bullshit. These two just have a great dynamic, for example this spot: Ibushi throws three elbows, Ishii growls and shakes his head NO, Ibushi throws three more elbows, Ishii growls louder and takes Ibushi down with a single elbow, then runs right into an Ibushi hurricanrana – so good!
The finish was the fight-to-the-death a G1 Climax finish promises, including a punch to the throat and Ishii blocking a Kamigoye by just springing up and headbutting Ibushi in the face. A beautiful, nasty wrestling match. ****1/2
5. G1 Climax – Block A: Shingo Takagi vs. Will Ospreay
Imagine a balance beam where on one end is a couple of the coolest most impressive pro wrestling performances possible, and on the other end is a couple of guys just showing off to the point where you’re more bored and annoyed than impressed. This match went teeter-totter, baby.
There is all the good stuff you’d expect here, rapid-fire rope-running and strong boy wrestling sequences, but by the end it felt more like a crazy good exhibition than something I got fully wrapped into. I’ll give it a full extra star for the part where Shingo yelled “OSPREAY!” and clotheslined Will off the top rope, but that’s still just a part. Will sometimes seemed more focused on looking cool or clever than wrapping YOU AND I into the wrestling match. I’m fine with cool, but enough with the clever. You’re Will Ospreay – you are not clever. ***1/2
6. G1 Climax – Block A: Kazuchika Okada vs. Jay White
I can accept Jay White as a competent but boring New Japan main event guy, but I cannot accept whatever is going on with Kazuchika Okada. I cannot accept a place where Okada is having what feels like a contractually obligated match, one where they have to initial every little beat: White stalling, seated dropkick, Gedo interference, Blade Runner. Okada’s in-ring ability seems completely fine, but the aura that made the wrestling interesting is missing more than red hair Okada. Maybe it’s COVID, maybe it’s Kazuchika. **3/4
Happy Thoughts: Two excellent matches makes this one mostly a keeper, though I am worried about Okada. I am also kind of worried about anybody’s ability to have a good match with anyone but Ishii right now. 6/10
