No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God when they’re starving or freezing or so very poor
No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one’s laughing at God
When it’s gotten real late and their kid’s not back from the party yet
No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one’s laughing at God
When they see the one they love, hand in hand with someone else
And they hope that they’re mistaken
No one laughs at God
When the cops knock on their door and they say we got some bad news, sir
No one’s laughing at God when there’s a famine or fire or flood
But God can be funny…
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ’bout to choke
1. Yuya Uemura vs. Yota Tsuji
Round 2 for this pair of youngsters and they had another fine match, like they just graduated from the most consistent wrestling training system there is or something. Tsuji has developed himself an absolute LOOK, though I’m not sure if his roll-through powerslam was on purpose or not. **
2. G1 Climax – Block B: Hirooki Goto vs. SANADA
Goto and SANADA are a pair of fellows that play things so close to the vest that though this will never be the most exciting match on a lineup (hopefully), it just kind of worked in all the best most self-serious ways. They worked a completely basic modern New Japan match and if there was a hole in the story they weren’t about to let YOU see it. Such rock solid Japanese pro wrestling. ***1/4
3. G1 Climax – Block B: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Toru Yano
Does Tanahashi vs. Yano ever get old?? Actually, yeah. I think so. Tanahashi played air guitar with the turnbuckle pad and did a dragon screw leg whip with it too, then they exchanged some wrestlings before Yano just won. Ah. What a twist. *3/4
4. G1 Climax – Block B: Juice Robinson vs. KENTA
There is always this 10-minute mark in any new KENTA match where I look around and just think “JESUS that is a lot of chinlocks.” He and dapper Juice brought the fire throughout and closed strong though, with a few shots that made me look around and just think “AWWRRGGHD!!” KENTA threw a big knee to the back of the head, a corner dropkick in the face, and a wild spinning backfist before Juice pounced with a huge lariat and hit that Pulp Friction for 3. Yeah! ***1/2
5. G1 Climax – Block B: YOSHI-HASHI vs. EVIL
There is a lot of tape on record that says this match should not have been good, but I watched it and thought it was great. YOSHI-HASHI is one step beyond an acquired taste, but once it hits it… well, it still doesn’t always work but SOMETIMES it does and that is the point. I think. He starts this match the RIGHT WAY, saying fuck a Bullet Club and charging EVIL and Togo with his staff like a WARRIOR. A KING.
EVIL dishes a beating but this is more about all the ways they play with YOSHI-HASHI fighting back: suplex reversals, HYPE as he climbs for the Swanton Bomb before being brought down, and a reversal of a reversal of a reversal on an Irish whip among them. The timing on all the big moments is a freaking masterpiece, like YOSHI finally fighting back with a lariat or YOSHI bringing EVIL back to the center of the ring again and again on a Butterfly Lock. They even got big drama off the usual Togo/Gedo/whatever interference!
I’m still not sure if YOSHI or EVIL are going to go on and have more matches of this caliber in the G1, but this one here was special. ****1/4
6. G1 Climax – Block B: Tetsuya Naito vs. Zack Sabre Jr.
This was so good, an absolute meal of a wrestling match. I said it. I’ll stand by it. Instead of the standard babyface champion Naito match where he somehow both lazes it up and is completely reckless, Zack Sabre took him some place completely different. The crowd applauds at the bell and Naito has a different vibe to him, still not quite giving a shit but aware that at least these people are taking it serious. Then he tries to do The Pose and Zack rolls him up for 2.9999 and everything’s on.
Naito wrestles early on with an intent and focus you rarely see him show, which eventually shifts the tide and has Union Zack going extra hard to keep up with Naito’s style including a rapid-fire tornado DDT that is worth watching several times. Zack brings a certain set of skills and they were highlighted more than usual opposite a version of Naito who was just grinding for a victory.
It’s a match that went nearly 30 minutes and actually used them well, including a crazy dramatic close that didn’t have Naito hitting the Destino ten times. Most epic match from either guy in a while. ****1/2
Happy Thoughts: Block B has over-delivered. YOSHI-HASHI vs. EVIL came out of nowhere, and if I’m being honest so did Naito vs. Sabre. Plus the rest of the card was good. Best show so far. 7/10
