Ladies and gentlemen, please…
Would you bring your attention to me?
For a feast for your eyes to see…
An explosion of catastrophe!
Like nothing you’ve ever seen before…
Watch closely as I open this door.
Your jaws will be on the floor.
After this, you’ll be begging for more!
Welcome to the showwwwwww…
Please come inside…
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!
BOOM! (Do you want it?)
BOOM! (Do you need it?)
BOOM! (Let me hear it!)
Ladies and gentleman!
BOOM! (Do you want it?)
BOOM! (Do you need it?)
BOOM! (Let me hear it!)
Ladies and gentleman!
1. Yuya Uemura vs. Yota Tsuji
We’ve got a big pop for a shoulderblock, big pop for an armdrag, BIG DRAMA on a struggle to escape a crab hold – in some distant part of of the planet, people are enjoying professional wrestling again. On some nights it’s going to be a lot more fun to watch these guys and Gabriel Kidd do their thing than some of the G1 matches. **
2. G1 Climax – Block A: Will Ospreay vs. Yujiro Takahashi
Oh, there. It’s Will Ospreay. He got all big and strong, though I’ve got to say the big feathery jacket felt a little much even for a return match. He’s still good at wrestling, a special blend of purpose and execution on everything he does. Yujiro, meanwhile – well, I can’t believe I’m going to have to watch Yujiro do Yujiro things for eight more matches. No struggle for the Stormbreaker on a heavyweight THIS time, nerds! **1/4
3. G1 Climax – Block A: Jeff Cobb vs. Taichi
They hit each other I guess. I am still waiting for the Cobb match that doesn’t feel like a crap version of every other G1 match. *1/2
4. G1 Climax – Block A: Minoru Suzuki vs. Tomohiro Ishii
These guys hit each other too but they did it hard and with a purpose, more “I’ve got to keep up and get those points” and less “eh let’s throw a jumping front kick to get through this shit.” Ishii and Suzuki are a couple of old men who are slightly less dynamic and intense these days, but sometimes that can also add to the whole deal and they really didn’t let up for 15 minutes anyways. They made sure to add some kick to it, Suzuki absolutely stuffing what’s left of Ishii’s neck for a Gotch-style piledriver at the end. ***1/2
5. G1 Climax – Block A: Shingo Takagi vs. Jay White
Ah, Jay White is back. **1/2
6. G1 Climax – Block A: Kazuchika Okada vs. Kota Ibushi
This had a lot of great pieces that I really enjoyed because Okada and Ibushi are both great wrestlers who I really enjoy, but the match also didn’t hit like a big time G1 Climax usually does. They went the usual 20 but it didn’t really hit Second Gear™ and wasn’t stripped down enough to excuse not hitting it. Last year’s G1 and the Wrestle Kingdom matches took a while to get going too so maybe it’s an Okada vs. Ibushi thing, but they did eventually bring those around to something more exciting than this.
I loved Okada’s BIG HEADLOCK early, the crack on Ibushi’s kick where no hand of his was close to slapping a thigh, and how adorably hard everybody – Okada, Ibushi, commentary – worked to get Okada’s new Cobra Clutch over. I’d say there was a combination here of COVID ring rust, taking it easy on Night 1, and them saving something for the future – but maybe that let them off too easy. The G1 Climax continues… ***1/4
Happy Thoughts: Not a GREAT start, but what is life even supposed to be right now? There were a couple good matches and a couple stinkers. On we go. 4/10
