WWE TV “Reviews” seem kind of silly considering, you know, everything. I do know that WWE is bumming me out more than usual, both because they’re not changing up a single thing about their already frustratingly lame and generic presentation and also because of, you know, everything.
RAW (3/30/20)
The Undertaker, Kevin Owens, and Paul Heyman all did their last promos before Mania. They did them with the usual intent of a promo: get the viewer to buy your match. Biker Taker was fine, Owens was INCREDIBLE, and Heyman with Brock Lesnar was the usual bla bla blaaaaa. Heyman is a master of delivery, but his content has been the same for too long. It ended the show on a really weak note.
Not sure if they had anything else planned for the Charlotte Flair/Rhea Ripley match, but that more than any match on the card has suffered from These Uncertain Circumstances.
There was wrestling too on this show, if I remember correctly. Aleister Black squashed a guy and wears a hood now. Still not convinced he and Lashley are actually working at Mania. Asuka squashed Kayden Carter too.
Austin Theory had himself a pretty inauspicious debut for a guy making his main roster debut at Mania, but he seems ready to get to work. The Seth Rollins, Angel Garza & Theory vs. Kevin Owens & Street Profits 6-man was occasionally fun, especially when Montez Ford or Kevin Owens were doing something.
They replayed theWinner Takes All Women’s Title Match from last year’s WrestleMania and Brock Lesnar/Rey Mysterio from Survior Series. I watched the Mania match to see if it held up better when not burnt out from eight hours of wrestling, and it did. I’ll just assume Brock/Rey still rules.
NXT (4/1/20)
This week had Sam Roberts on color commentator, which stunk. The guy doesn’t have a bad commentator voice, but the try hard heel shtick is brutal and does the show a disservice.
Velveteen Dream vs. Bobby Fish was a solid match, as Fish is good at going after a knee and Dream is good screaming and gasping as he sells it.
Dexter Lumis‘ eyes are scary.
Killer Kross seems scary too.
Outside of a Tiger Suplex, there really wasn’t much to Shotzi Blackheart‘s run through the NXT women’s undercard in the Gauntlet Match. Dakota Kai beat her anyways.
Still zero idea what Joaquin Wilde is going for, with the Ant-Man helmet and the smile and the air horn sound and the overly complicated wrestling moves. Just has me lost. He’s capable, but there’s too much pulling him down. He had a decent match with KUSHIDA, then got kidnapped by guys in Lucha masks who seem to have Southern accents. Seems bad.
The main event – a Triple Threat Match between Keith Lee, Dominik Dijakovic and Damian Priest for the NXT North American Title, was really really dumb. Three big tall heavyweight guys having a cruiserweight match with nobody freaking out for the spots makes the sots just feel kind of dumb. The awkward double big boot by Dijakovic and Priest so they could perfectly fall onto Keith Lee for a double cover just killed me too. Impressive athletics, dumb match.
MAIN EVENT (4/1/20)
Gallows & Anderson worked Ever-Rise, a team that still needs a new name but is clearly very good at wrestling – double teams, loud-mouthed shit talk, whatever.
Cedric Alexander got to wrestle Fabian Aichner in a fun little match that someday somewhere might be incredible.
NXT UK (4/2/20)
The majority of the show was spent with a 20-Man #1 Contender’s Battle Royal that had a whole lot of dead spots but was booked well enough: Kassius Ohno tossed by everybody right away, Ridge Holland launching people out of the ring, A-Kid doing a Kofi Rumble spot, the Moustache Mountain showdown, and Noam Dar backing up into Bomber Dave Mastiff were highlights. Don’t think they showcased Jordan Devlin and eventual winner Ilja Dragunov nearly enough.
Two women’s matches started the show, with Kay Lee Ray & Jinny vs. Piper Niven & Dani Luna a decent TV match that was either actively good or seemed better than usual just because the crowd was reacting. Xia Brookside vs. Amale won’t move anybody, but was an OK young lions match.
SMACKDOWN (4/3/20)
The MizTV brawl between Miz & Morrison, The New Day and The Usos was a classic lazy go-home segment, everybody just talking themselves into a big ol’ brawl. The Naomi vs. Lacey Evans vs. Tamina match that followed it wasn’t much either, though Bayley and Sasha Banks (IN THAT BLUE JUMPSUIT) continue to kill it as total jerks.
Then Michaels told Flair he loved him, and the show picked up. Sonya Deville and Dolph Ziggler‘s collusion being revealed to Otis and Mandy Rose was shockingly well-done, even though the hacker guy that showed it seems like a satire. Daniel Bryan vs. Shinsuke Nakamura seriously actually FINALLY happened and ruled, as good and solid as a restrained WWE TV empty arena match might be able to be. Love that this happened, and loved how subtly they picked up the pace creating some good drama before the DQ.
The Fiend isn’t hitting, but John Cena‘s promo (Wiz Khalifa insult aside) ruled. Still good.
205 LIVE (4/3/20)
KUSHIDA vs. Danny Burch was so snug and solid with a lot of fun chain wrestling that lasted throughout the match. KUSHIDA brings the intensity an striking of a Japanese wrestler with the precision and grappling of a British wrestler – I dig.
Tyler Breeze vs. Jack Gallagher was also solid, though I enjoyed it much less than the match before it.
