Alfred: Yes. Stay away from golf.
Vince: Stay away from the ladies…
Alfred: Yes, they told me. * nervous laughter *
Vince: Hmmmmm. Well, our next guest…
I talk about Tuesday Night Titans as a whole in Year in Review – WWF in 1984. I talk more in-depth about it in Year in Review – WWF Tuesday Night Titans (1984), and even more in Year in Review – WWF in 1985, and even more in what will eventually be Year in Review – WWF in 1986.
Tuesday Night Titans is an initially charming fever dream of a WWF late night talk show hosted by Vince McMahon that went through several changes over its’ next two years: different days of the week, less skits, less emphasis as a primary show, and less Alfred – almost a silent non-entity as the show winds up before the end of the year.
Another major change is that it’s not even called Tuesday Night Titans anymore. Beginning in 1984 as a two-hour Tuesday night show, it moved to Fridays for just an hour beginning in 1985 and became TNT. Starting with the one right before Mania 2, the hour-long show moved to Wednesdays and stayed there until the end.
While WWF Superstars of Wrestling was introduced as the WWF’s primary programming in the fall of 1986, Prime Time Wrestling (which took over the Tuesday slot) becomes the main vehicle to follow the WWF week-to-week on the WWE Network as TNT becomes more a reaction to things along with interviews/clips. Anything worth its’ salt on TNT probably ends up on Prime Time anyways. The character development through insane talk show sketches winnows away in 1985 and basically disappears in 1986, a damn shame.
The show came to an end in September 1986, and by May Vince McMahon actually exits the host’s chair to I assume spend more time ruthlessly running the World Wrestling Federation. It’s a pretty big deal, as the last vestiges of McMahon trying to be a human being disappear with his disappearance from the set. Mean Gene Okerlund steps in, and the Gene/Hayes pairing feels more like guys goofing off and killing time compared to the Vince/Hayes pairing where Vince tried to create some weird Johnny Carson/Ed McMahon vibe.
The thing about TNT in 1986 is the experiments. Tony D & The TNT Band are playing, most of the time. SNL-esque bumper images begin to appear during commercials. A brand new backdrop, couches and desk appear on TNT 94 at the end of July, only a couple months before the end. Before Vince McMahon exits he begins to enter through the crowd, a common man if I’ve ever seen one.
Oh yeah, there’s permanently a crowd now. It results in some amusing Q&A’s as these awkward wrestling fans or laymen get to interact with the wrestlers who succeed at the improv to varying degrees.
The last great “TNT” segment airs on TNT 5/14/86, where Hoss and Jimmy Jack Funk cover take Lord Alfred Hayes outside to a Texas BBQ where they cover him in sauce and hang him from a tree. TNT 9/24/86 ends up the last episode, robbing this special gem of its’ 100th episode. Thankfully it ends in classic TNT fashion, as Nikolai Volkoff brings a live bear to set.
These next two posts will be a bunch of things that spoke to me from each Tuesday Night Titans in 1986, thoughts that will be consolidated and taken into account as I put together a Year in Review for 1986. I can’t promise any consistency or cohesion, but what I can promise are thoughts. Isn’t that all we have sometimes?
For full matchlists of TNT, check out the WWF 1980 WWE Network matchlists page.
Tuesday Night Titans #65 (1/3/86)
The one with Terry Funk.
Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff join the set to talk Tag Titles and pitch action figures, as Sheik crows on about his being the “hottest thing on the market” – and if a Conrad Thompson podcast is to believed, it certainly was. $80k quarterly checks, baby.
Leaping Lanny Poffo was always an odd fit for the ultra-masculine WWF – this episode cuts to him in tighty whitey gear doing something I can only describe as riding poor jobber Rick Jacobs, who has “THE BOMB” written on his tights. The crowd actually gets into the brief serious Lanny this match shows off briefly, though we never saw enough of that.
Terry Funk, who would stick around through WrestleMania 2, was feuding with Junkyard Dog and this episode provides a fine feature on him including an interview in front of bales of hay where they actually bring in a god damn cow to chill nearby. A squash match is shown where Funk maniacally locks a sleeper on his nameless black opponent, repeatedly screaming “JYD… JYD… JYD!” The audience Q&A at the end gets right to the point: “If you hate Junkyard Dog so much, why don’t ya wrestle him ya jerk?” AMEN.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #66 (1/10/86)
The one with THE MACHO MAN.
As de-emphasized as TNT got, the Road to WrestleMania shows are still excellent and any time Randy Savage shows up it is still must-see.
He appears on set with Elizabeth here and is on fire: he tears up a Hogan poster as he enters, doesn’t sit down, and immediately tosses all the action figures out of the toy wrestling ring because he isn’t one of them. Then he starts yelling at Vince: “WHO’S ON THE COVER OF THE MAGAZINE? NOT ME!” He’s so ridiculous that the audience pops and cracks up for his shtick even though he’s being such a piece of shit to his girl.
Savage squashes Gary Starr and it’s great: Liz is handed flowers on her way to the ring, Savage gets pissed and tears up the flowers, Liz cries. Savage attacks Starr from behind, hits a suplex, drops the elbow, and pins him over a pile of torn-up flowers. The Macho Train was still getting started here and this was another chapter in its’ insanity.
Big John Studd joins the show and a ballsy audience member tells him that his momma’s a punk.
Ivan Putski provides his secret to success: stay in shape, workout, don’t drink, don’t take any drugs, and get a lot of sleep. Well THAT SOUNDS HARD, IVAN.
Junkkyard Dog closes the show with an audience Q&A, though not before he simulates facing Rowdy Roddy Piper with action figures.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #67 (1/17/86)
The one that starts WRESTLEMANIA BUILD. Also, with CANDICE PARDUE.
It’s a tale of two shows, as the WrestleMania 2 build begins in earnest with the Tag Team Titles getting focus, Savage/Steele coming into view, and Adrian Adonis being re-introduced under a new gimmick.
Captain Lou Albano is with the British Bulldogs now, introduced as they squashed Mr. X and THE MENACE. Howard Finkel gives a very over-the-top reaction, possibly sarcastic reaction when Dynamite Kid whispers to him they have a new manager, all “Oh really? WOW!” The crowd pops HUGE for the Captain.
Lou also brings George “The Animal” Steele to set who can only muster a “NICE!” as they discuss Elizabeth.
The re-introduction of Adrian Adonis begins here, as now that he’s been under Jimmy Hart’s tutelage for a few months he has begun to embrace himself: bleach blonde hair, gift bows in his hair, a scarf that he can’t stop smelling. The WWF in 1986 with a gimmick of a guy being gay for heat is something else, but I almost appreciate how straight-up they were about it. He was fat, obnoxious, and just so happened to be gay.
The little wink-wink jokes Vince and Gene make are shit, the idea of Piper being this babyface trying to defend his children from him is shit, but Adonis’ performance is phenomenal. He says he’s jumped out of the closet on Piper’s Pit and on TNT he angrily rants and says he has every right to be himself, then stands up and says: “Yes, I’m gay!” Jimmy Hart is all supportive – “You did it bay, you did it!” while Vince McMahon responds: “OK, fine… whatever.”
In the middle of all this young Candice Purdue appears on the show. She’s a mild-mannered young girl from Heath Springs, SC who powerlifts which seemed to be enough for Vince. She might honestly be the most unnatural wrestling person Vince ever put on TV, and I understand the ground that covers. Vince picks a random from the crowd to arm wrestle her and SHE LOSES!!!, though Vince says they cheated and declares Candice the winner anyways.
Then. Now. Forever.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #68 (1/24/86)
The one with Bobby “The Brain” Heenan.
WrestleMania 2 is a little over a month away so Roddy Piper and Bobby Heenan are here to start stirring up shit, though not that much shit – they’d save that for Saturday Night’s Main Event.
Rowdy Roddy Piper’s first TV appearance of 1986 sees him casually manspreading with his kilt as he and Cowboy Bob Orton talk shit about The Hillbillies, make fun of Vince’s hair, and discuss a clip of Piper’s Pit where a doctor visits and matter of factly states Orton’s arm injury shouldn’t have taken more than six months to heal when he’s been wearing it for well over a year.
Bobby “The Brain” Heenan wears sunglasses indoors, refuses Lord Alfred’s handshake, and plays BAFFLE THE BRAIN with Vince where he gets an answer wrong, lies about it, and storms off.
Vince struggling to get anything out of B. Brian Blair and Cousin Luke on this show is a treat. Blair mentions Vince was in “rare form as usual – always a gentleman though” at a party lately, then they show footage of Blair vs. Barry O where Blair employs the strategy of disappearing underneath the ring. O’s arm actually goes down three times for a sleeper hold but they ignore it.
There was something there for about a day with Cousin Luke, the newest Hillbilly, as he is sold as a guy with strength he isn’t aware of who has to keep looking back at Hillbilly Jim for instruction. Ultimately though he just became another hillbilly and after an injury he was gone by April.
So it goes.
Worth Watching?: No
Tuesday Night Titans #69 (1/31/86)
The one with King Kong Bundy.
It’s Mania 2 time, baby.
The Saturday Night’s Main Event angle wouldn’t be shot for two weeks, but King Kong Bundy is beginning to call out Hulk Hogan. Now in my early 30s, seeing King Kong Bundy in his late-20s on top of the WWF is a trip as when I first saw him decades ago he seemed like such an old scary man. Heenan and Bundy say no one will sign a contract to face him or Studd, so all they end up doing are Battle Royals and Handicap Matches. Meanwhile Hulk is too busy on Loveboat or doing Cheerio’s commercials to answer Heenan’s calls.
There’s something so simple and awesome about the old school Handicap Match they show here, Bundy opposite two Local Competitors who go right at him and just bumble away until he destroys them with little effort.
Mr. Wonderful shows up on set in tight red track pants and no shirt, his pectorals and abdomen both tanned and glistening as everybody treats it like it’s perfectly normal. Orndorff had been rising up the babyface ranks and to feud with Cowboy Orton he is sporting his own arm cast, which he uses to lay out poor Joe Mirto after their match. There’s a hilarious bit here with Orndorff and JYD dancing with a kid to Grab Them Cakes and the kid’s shirt ends up off and he starts flexing. INNOCENT. 1980S. FUN.
The other thing about this show is Pedro Morales, who is still around and has the claim to fame of being the only Triple Crown Champion in the WWF. He’s adorably mild-mannered, talking about his little feature in WWF Magazine. He makes Puerto Rican food on set with this lady Amelia, who is quickly introduced to the world of professional wrestling: Captain Lou Albano shows up to eat food and dance with the band, while Lord Alfred asks if he can be truthful before outright burying the food: “no good, it’s like foor for common people… the beans were just dreadful.”
Amelia stands by, smiling.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #70 (2/7/86)
The one with the Tag Team Titles, I guess.
Some of these shows just weren’t very eventful.
The one with… the Tag Titles, I guess.
Magnificent Muraco and Mr. Fuji squash a pair of fellows and Fuji does some of the BEST bumping.
The future Waylon Mercy, Danny Spivey, came into the territory for a bit and would eventually replace Barry Windham as Mike Rotundo’s tag partner. I always found it odd he came in with yellow tights doing Hogan’s legdrop and Windham’s bulldog.
Captain Lou Albano talks up his team of trainers for the British Bulldogs before they cut to a squash where Moondog Spot actually kicks out of a powerslam.
The Bulldogs vs. The Dream Team in a non-title match from the January Poughkeepsie TV taping is shown in full and very good, with Valentine bumping for Dynamite being pure magic. Beefcake for his part takes an incredible fall off a lariat too. The Bulldogs finish gets over huge, and Valiant takes a shot from Davey Boy for good measure.
“I have never seen anything like that – totally illegal move!” shouts Johnny Valiant, doing his best President Trump impersonation. Dream Team lists their excuses for losing to The Bulldogs and Valiant TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF in rage as the credits roll.
Onto Mania.
Worth Watching?: No
Tuesday Night Titans #71 (2/14/86)
The one with Elizabeth getting flowers.
This is the first episode with Vince McMahon entering through the crowd. I only note that because of how funny it is.
Captain Lou Albano, coming off a guest spot on 227 and with a role in “Wise Guys” coming out, was the first guest here and was still working with the MS Charity he began when Cyndi Lauper was working with the WWF. He cuts a promo on MS that is so impassioned that the crowd rallies behind him and begins cheering. Could’ve sold out MSG.
Magnificent Muraco and Mr. Fuji are in the midst of their Hollywood actor shtick, and on this show they visit an agent in Hollywood who takes a look at their acting and says it’s the worst piece of trash he’s ever seen in his life. Fuji walking around Hollywood in full tuxedo and bolo hat just grinning his way through everything is incredible. He just casually commits and suggests crimes: bribes a security guard, says they’ll have to do a “Japanese sneak attack” to get into the building.
Leaping Lanny Poffo vs. Jim Neidhart during Poffo/TONY STETSON vs. The Hart Foundation for about 20 seconds is kind of great.
The show ends with an actual angle, but first Macho Man Randy Savage and Elizabeth joins the set. Savage is sporting a red lycra pants and a red “HULK WHO? MACHO MAN #1” tank top. He squashes, once again, Tony “Hitman” Stetson and screams “HOW DO YA LIKE THAT!?” as he keeps dropping elbows and refuses to take the 3-count. Savage continues talking shit – “I’m gonna have a belt over this shoulder and a belt over this shoulder and I’m not going swimming because I’ll surely drown” – YOWWWWW.
Then, flowers are delivered to the set and Savage gets hot: “Tell me who’s the guy that’s in the danger zone right now.” They try to find the card, but instead find turnbuckle stuffing. Vince is just tickled pink as Savage FREAKS OUT.
The Animal’s in trouble.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #72 (2/21/86)
The one with Dory Funk Jr.
But also Sivi Afi and Roddy Piper and Bobby Heenan.
Hoss Funk has joined the WWF, by GOD! They show the angle here, which begins with a Terry Funk vs. Junkyard Dog match that absolutely rules – JYD does three 10-count noggin’ knockers in the corner and Funk sells all three like a MAN. Terry ends up caught in the ropes as JYD grabs Jimmy Hart and the branding iron, before a man in a suit runs in and begins beating JYD with his cowboy boot – and we all know who this is! “That’s Dory Funk, Terry Funk’s brother!” howls Vince as The Funks hold JYD down for a beating from Jimmy before the faces make the save.
Terry Funk and Jimmy Hart visit the Double Cross Ranch too where they legit brand a calf and ride horses as Jimmy complains about the cold and asks where the Wendy’s is.
In addition to Cowboy Bob and Mr. Wonderful, Lord Alfred Hayes has a cast here. Vince inquires, and Al says he was arm wrestling with his girlfriend.
Superfly Afi, soon to be Sivi Afi, had come to the WWF as the laziest saddest possible replacement for the unreliable and possibly murderous Superfly Snuka. Sivi joins the set and doesn’t talk, just dances, and Vince and Alfred tapping along to the beat is INCREDIBLE television. They also show him doing fire dancing in the ring, where a question is posed: “This is all fine and dandy, Gorilla, but can he wrestle?” And I’m not sure because he doesn’t have a match on here.
Piper’s Pit is on this show too, with Jose Luis Rivera who Piper is an absolute cock to: “Are you from Puerto Rico? Is that a part of America?” They begin the Boxing Bob Orton gimmick, which would lead to Piper vs. Mr. T in a Boxing Match at Mania. Rivera talks boxing Orton, then they have an actual Boxing Match where Orton KO’s Rivera in 90 seconds. I’m not sure if he had any formal training or anything but if not Cowboy Bob could fake boxing like a man.
“Our next guest has been likened to an animal…”
“Very funny, McMahon,” shouts Bobby Heenan from behind the curtain.
They cut to footage of a guy absolutely KO’d and being stretchered out after wrestling Bundy, which is another great entry into the build-up of Bundy for Hogan. Heenan says Hogan would rather sign autographs or visit old folks than get in the ring with anyone in Heenan’s family. He doesn’t lay out the challenge just yet, but it’s coming.
Vince runs down next week’s how and the cue cards end up wrong and say Barry Hart, not Barry O. Love watching young McMahon dealing with production errors – it’s like you can see the cracks that led to the micro-managing monster we know today.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #73 (2/28/86)
The one with Boxing Bob Orton.
God, what a trip – in the lead-up to WrestleMania 2 we’ve got all the big stuff like Hogan and Bundy and Piper and Savage but they’d also throw in things like Candice Pardue and now Scott McGhee and Les Thornton, a couple of Brits Vince grabbed from Florida to be enhancement talent who join TNT to apparently bicker over where they come from. McGhee is for the Scots and Les is for the Brits and they just go at it: “Scots, all they do is drink.” “Manchester is the worst place in the world.” Vince WHISPERS into the mic and they go to break.
There’s a Kirchner/Steele vs. Sheik/Volkoff match here as Freddie Blassie joins the set, and it’s not pretty but the crowd sure is chanting USA.
The Boxing Bob Orton gimmick gets to its payoff on this show, as he has challenged anyone who wrestles to a boxing match. Rivera got KO’d last week, and now Rudy Diamond is getting booed over his weak punches before he gets KO’d too. Piper’s Pit is shown after, and Hulk Hogan shows up to set to say that he’d love to box Orton via his open contract but his very good friend (“Wait wait… you have a friend?”) told him to give him the match. Hogan signs the contract and Piper grabs it – “MR. T!?” Hogan yells “I PITY THE FOOL!” as Vince and Alfred reflect. “I really enjoyed that, that was EXCITING” exclaims Alfred very believably.
Also in the lead-up to WrestleMania 2, here’s S.D. Jones. Vince and Alfred banter about Antigua as Vince appears to be losing patience with Special Delivery, who is apparently here to SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT on Antigua’s Commonwealth status.
They show an S.D. Jones squash and I LOVE an S.D Jones enhancement match, the ultimate enhancement guy getting his own enhancement. The bonus is that it’s against big Rusty Brooks, who the crowd chants PORKY at and does a FLAIR FLOP (lands on his knees first). A big fatass sunset flip out of the corner by S.D. wins it.
The show ends with a Bobby Heenan and Jimmy Hart Audience Q&A, and just imagine having Heenan and Hart on tap to banter with the crowd. Heenan sits at the desk as Vince brings the mic in the crowd and everything feels all loose as the crowd is comfortable enough to make a bunch of bad jokes, some of which gets pops and some of which make everybody cringe.
Also – Barry O, all of 21-years-old, comes to set to complain about the BABY O signs people are bringing to shows.
“I’m not a baby!” yells Randy Orton’s uncle as they cut to commercial.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #74 (3/7/86)
The one with the WrestleMania 2 hard sell.
Now that the March Saturday Night’s Main Event has aired, “WrestleMania is officially underway” announces a giddy Vince as he runs down the 3-location gimmick. It’s just like WrestleMania 1, except it’s in THREE CITIES. Why? I DON’T KNOW!!!
This aired after Bundy assaulted Hogan at SNME, so they have an interview with Dr. Robert Paunovich on Hulk Hogan’s condition where Paunovich is clearly just standing there waiting for his cue in the middle of the street before he begins walking toward Mean Gene. Paunovich’s name also came up in the steroid trial.
“What’s got 17 teeth and an IQ of 11? The first 4 rows of TNT.” BOBBY. Bobby Heenan and King Kong Bundy join the set doing material on SOCKS, with Bundy saying he doesn’t wear them because he isn’t some normie like everyone else. Heenan takes this material and somehow morphs it into an incredible serious promo on Hogan, who he says has a championship to lose. “What’s Bundy got?” “Not socks.”
“What did they find in Hogan’s brain scan?” asks Heenan, before he and Bundy shout together: “NOTHING!” Expanding on Bundy being weirdly young here, I always saw him as this mean generic scary guy as a kid, so watching this arrogant joking guy is a revelation.
Hulk Hogan, bandaged up in front of a brick wall, rips an epic promo on Bundy and his recovery.
They show footage from MTV’s airing of The Slammys, which was fun to see, with the crowd hollering as Junkyard Dog drags Jimmy Hart out to the stage.
Rowdy Roddy Piper closes the show, and the TNT crowd chants his name as he walks in. He stares down a guy’s poster and is saluted, then tosses assorted action figures to the floor.
TNT Crowd is chanting for Roddy, who walks in and stares at a guy’s poster who salutes him, then tosses the action figures to the floor. He sits on the couch and goes into one of his epic stream of consciousness promos – always loved how he’d go on rants then turn to Alfred with a casual, “Hi! How are you?” He lays down line after line, some brilliant and some terrible: “My competition was Uncle Elmer and the pig man, c’mon” … “Only guy I know who wears more chains than his ancestors” … “Martin Luther King’s Day, that was a marvelous thing to do for the government… what’s the first thing Mr. T does, Junkyard Dog does – goes out, puts a chain around his neck… you tell me does that make any sense man?” He labels his feud with Mr. T “The Great White Hope vs. The Great Black Dope.” THEN, as if that wasn’t enough, he and Orton basically torture poor midget wrestler Haiti Kid and yell at him about being Mr. T’s friend as they shave his head.
I’ll tell ya what there might be sixteen things problematic about all this but I cannot doubt the conviction and intensity of one Rowdy Roddy Piper.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #75 (3/14/86)
The one with JAKE THE SNAKE.
Jake “The Snake” Roberts has surfaced in the WWF and is already making a name for himself with a promo, presence, and in-ring performance like nobody else. Plus he carries a bag to the ring with a snake in it. He joins the set, squashes a man, and does an audience Q&A. Vince asks him about the volume of his voice in promos and he indulges: “You have a lot of people come out here that scream and holler… I don’t have to scream because a long time ago I learned one thing – if a man has enough power, he can speak softly and everyone will listen. So it’s much easier that way, isn’t it?” Then he smiles.
He squashes Nelson Veilleux with a short-arm clothesline (“that was a unique little move wasn’t it, an arm whip into your own clothesline”) and a DDT “beautiful reverse bulldog”). He then takes out Damien the snake and girls SHRIEK as he puts it on poor Nelson.
In the studio, Jake carries Lucifer the snake and explains his logic behind carrying the bag around: “If I’ve got a man thinkin’ about what’s in this bag, then he’s not thinkin’ enough about me because you see you never… turn your back… on a snake, do you?” Jake already knew exactly who he was and it is awesome to see from day 1.
As if the promo power wasn’t enough Terry Funk gives us an INSANE epic promo from the couch just hyping the shit out of WrestleMania 2, where he’s in some midcard tag match: “I’m telling you – April the 7th is the biggest and the best and the only event to go to in the world.”
The good promos come to a halt with now former IC Champion Tito Santana, who kind of fumbles his way through a discussion of The Funk Brothers.
Footage from the WrestleMania 2 press conference is shown with Piper, Orton, and boxing coach Lou Duva. Piper is as per usual on a tear, with the novelty ever-so-slightly wearing off in this boxing feud but the ability to just scream his way through it.
Smokin’ Joe Frazier actually joins the set, though he seems a lot more interested in the rubber chicken on set and Piper wearing a dress than the Boxing Match.
Ricky Steamboat stops by the studio to chat about Hercules Hernandez, who hasn’t been on the WWE Network just yet but will be soon. He wrestles Barry O and takes a beautiful bump on his gut on the top rope, while Barry O brings the fun charming schlub act that worked in certain situations. Like when wrestling Ricky Steamboat.
Big John Studd also stops by to talk up the WWF/NFL Battle Royal, and when Vince says Russ Francis has been skydivng Studd is quick: “That’ll serve him well in a Battle Royal.”
Love Vince’s rushed send-off here as he plugs next week: “Join us next week – Hulk Hogan will join us, along with the Macho Man Randy Savage, The Bulldogs, Captain Louis Albano, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, Bill Fralic… and more!”
It’s HOT season.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #76 (3/21/86)
The one with Hulk Hogan.
We’re in full WrestleMania mode so despite these shows only having a runtime of 42 minutes the content is PACKED.
“I said it, I’ve done it, and I’m gonna do it again and again and again – YEAH!” – an epic angle is shown with Macho Man Randy Savage tying poor George Steele up in the ropes and stuffing flowers in his mouth before Steele fights back to the crowd’s delight. Savage bails and just GRABS Elizabeth before running to the back with her over his shoulder. He is in full insane monster boyfriend mode on the TNT set here, telling her to stand at he desk so he can see her as he rants and raves to the point of discomfort.
Captain Lou might be a good guy promoting his MS charity and managing The Bulldogs but he’s still loud-mouthed and obnoxious. A decent Bulldogs vs. Sheik & Volkoff match is shown from MSG here with no finish, which sure seems odd considering the contenders for the Tag Titles won the match.
Hulk Hogan joins the show as well to introduce footage of the WrestleMania 2 Press Conference where Bundy and Hogan each provide some words. Hogan was a maestro in this era but the build-up promos here were really kind of word scramble America raa raa horseshit. After Bundy lays him out he claims a police offer was holding two kids who were crying, and then the police offer started crying. And then he goes back to America. It’s weird. But it’s also good. I think.
I mean read this: “It was like he killed Hulkamania … Not to mention, man, I have never been knocked out in professional wrestling … When I do try to workout now I feel the separation of the ribs, the torn muscles, and all the other gaga… You better be a giant and you better be ready, because I’m coming after you, brother.”
Hulk Hogan.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #77 (3/28/86)
The one TWO WEEKS FROM WRESTLEMANIA. Plus, Rowdy Roddy Piper yelling at ducks.
This episode has a cool gimmick, as beyond some clips of wrestlers and promos from Mania guest stars they only have managers as guests to hype up the big show. They don’t sell this as the reason, but the idea of only managers being available because the rasslers are training for the big match is pretty cool.
Jazz singer Cab Calloway is announced as a judge for the Boxing Match between Rowdy Roddy Piper and Mr. T, as is injured NBA player Darryl Dawkins, as is… Watergate guy G. Gordon Liddy. It’s certainly a line-up.
A Rowdy Roddy Piper training montage is the real meat here, as he shadowboxes, headbutts a guy, meets Leon Spinks, talks to the media, gets a massage from David Abittan, and CHASES AND YELLS AT DUCKS. It’s must-see insanity.
Magnifcent Muraco vs. Jim Powers features a tremendous body press counter by Muraco with a big time powerslam. Mr. Fuji talks shit about opponent Mr. Wonderful on his client’s behalf: “After 15 minutes, Orndorff will be sucking air like vacuum cleaner.”
Some of the NFL players in the WrestleMania 2 Battle Royal are interviewed, and 49ers Tight End Russ Francis reveals his dad was a wrestling promoter in Hawaii and wrestled Lou Thesz and Bruno Sammartino. Vince and Alfred speculate on the Battle Royal with guest Captain Lou Albano, as Vince seriously discusses the possibility of The Killer Bees teaming up to win the match.
Vince runs down all the celebrities to end the show.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #78 (4/2/86)
The last one before WrestleMania.
Lord Alfred Hayes introduces Vince as the “irrepressible” Vince McMahon to kick off the show, as Vince skips up the steps to the set and comments: “Alfred, you look uh… look uh… how you normally look.”
We’re closing the button on the Mania 2 sell job with feud caps, Jimmy Hart, Captain Lou Albano, a Mr. T training montage, more comments from the NFL guys, Jimmy Valiant, and finally Hulk Hogan.
Joan Rivers is announced a guest ring announcer, while Joe Namath and Lee Majors are also mentioned but didn’t show up.
Jimmy Hart, who between Adonis/Elmer and The Funk Brothers tag had been carrying two matches for Mania, joins the show to give one last bit of shit talk in Junkyard Dog’s general direction.
Captain Lou Albano pulls his gut out of his pants and shakes it around before commenting on the Randy Savage/George Steele feud.
Classie Freddie Blassie calls Mr. T a house ape, which is definitely a problem but also really makes me wonder how bad the two other things on this show were that got muted.
Mr. T trains for Roddy Piper, who is apparently a chump: “Don’t get scared, OK? Piper. Chump.” See?
Hulk Hogan meanwhile trains with Hillbilly Jim and The Steroid Slinger, Robbie Paunovich. “This is what it’s all about – a winner and a loser, no way out. Five and a half weeks brother… five and a half weeks I’ve been living the pain. Now I feel no pain, I fear no man… Bundy, you’re mine in the Steel Caaaage.”
CAAAAGE.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #79 (4/9/86)
The one with This is Your Life.
It’s a couple days from WrestleMania and we’ve got a new set for TNT, complete with Vince McMahon going on a limb and wearing a gray suit with fresh white shoes. It turns out the new set is because this isn’t any regular TNT at all but one with the gimmick of This Is Your Life with Nikolai Volkoff. They do the whole voiceovers to hint at who’s coming gimmick, and while I appreciate the attempt at something new this really just ends up Vince cracking up at local actors telling bad Russian jokes on Nikolai’s behalf.
I don’t know why Nikolai Volkoff got the nod for the only TNT This Is Your Life, but I also can’t think of many better choices.
He is announced as an International Goodwill Ambassador, and seems genuinely surprised this is for him – the man just showed up for this TNT show sitting front row in the red suit and yellow shirt combo he always wore any time he had to dress-up.
Freddie Blassie joins first and is on a tear – he says he saw Volkoff in the Olympics, and when Vince asks which Olympics, he retorts back: “It was the Olympics, what do you care!?”
An actress doing a bad Russian accent plays Volkoff’s sister Olga and discusses their past in Inagrad. She shows a baby picture which is just Nikolai’s head on a baby’s body, something the WWF still finds very funny even today.
Nikolai’s genuine joy when he realizes his high school wrestling coach is joining the show is hilarious, and this particular actor goes way over-the-top with not just the gym coach gimmick but getting in some real dad joke cracks on Nikolai that seem to hurt the poor Russian eventually.
Nikolai’s victory over Swede Hanson is shown, one where he almost loses Swede on a slam then nearly deadlifts him up and I swear the crowd is ready to lose their shit if he can fully lift him, but while he does carry him for a bit he loses him again.
Vince asks Nikolai’s old girlfriend about his performance in the bedroom, to which she says that in the ring he’s wonderful but in the bedroom… SMECH. She says love-making for Nikolai was a headbutt and a bodyslam, which isn’t the worst line.
A man named AGENT 36 joins the show to discuss Nikolai’s time as a KGB agent, to which he says his information was so slow and inaccurate that he got arrested and is with the CIA now.
Nikolai’s partner Iron Sheik also joins for a good rant and great random flex session.
Thank you, Nikolai Volkoff, for easing us back into the post-Mania WWF.
Worth Watching?: Yes
Tuesday Night Titans #80 (4/16/86)
The one with managers and tag matches.
Now that WrestleMania 2 is over, the WWF is back to being a live event business with the occasional Big Event. Therefore, as with today, things kind of slow down after Mania – Hogan continues his title defenses, the midcarders settle into a feud or two, but mostly we’re building up local house shows alongside all the new talent.
Tito Santana is here to finally reflect on his Intercontinental Title loss to Macho Man Randy Savage, and the title switch from Boston Garden is shown here. It’s a good match, never the classic you want with these two, but quality wrestling that kickstarts Macho’s ascent to the top as he smoothly pops Tito with a pair of brass knuckles as Tito backdrop suplexes him back into the ring.
Really what would’ve happened if Tito was a little bigger and better promo, because the guy was as over as anybody but after the title loss takes a big step back that he never really recovers from. I’ve heard he thought he could’ve been in the Bret Hart spot of midcard guy who rises to the top of the Fed, and there’s performances he’s had that don’t make me doubt that – it just never happened. Also, he calls Vince “Gene” here when he joins the set. Oops.
A Magnificent Muraco squash of Ricky Hunter opens the show, and Bruno is putting over Ricky Hunter’s experience of all things. I do love the idea of a 30-year vetran jobber. Muraco is asked about his piledriver, how he uses his differently by dropping to his knees instead of his ass. Why? “Because I like hearing the bones crunch.”
Iron Sheik & Volkoff beat a couple enhancement guys, while Classy Freddie Blassie banters about his $45,000 bidet.
The Funk Brothers tap a couple enhancement guys, but the real fun is in Jimmy Hart joining the set where he blares his megaphone and causes a few animals they had waiting backstage to freak out.
Jimmy’s other team, The Hart Foundation, has their own match with a couple enhancement fellas here where they face Don Driggers and Hart’s first regular tag team partner, George Wells. Hart talks about facing Haiti Kid in 6-man tags and rhetorically asks if Haiti punched him, where he’d get hit.
“I don’t think he’d find anything,” deadpans Vince to pop the juveniles.
Worth Watching?: No
Tuesday Night Titans #81 (4/23/86)
The one with Macho Man Randy Savage and a sweet Hercules Hernandez match.
But first – Leaping Lanny Poffo throws frisbees to the crowd. There’s POETRY on the frisbees! And he has a leather poetry case!
Vince McMahon welcomes Elizabeth to the set, but out comes Savage alongside her as he carries his championship title and shouts at the fans. He squashes Bob Marcus where he deos one of my favorite wrestling maneuvers: throwing a man to the floor. An elbow drop and one-foot cover gets Savage the 3-count.
The sit-down interview is a blast too – it’s always such an event when Randy Savgae appears. “Oh yeah I’m gonna sit down right now… YEAH, just spin around ONCE… spin around TWICE… aaaand sit down.” He makes it very awkward when Vince asks Elizabeth if she likes to dance, grunting that HE must ask the questions and saying that if he asks her to dance she will, all while Elizabeth smiles on uncomfortably.
Haiti Kid joins the set to talk getting his head shaved by Piper and Orton, and I can’t say he’s very skilled on the mic but he seems like a real human being and that’s fine. I dug the experiment of heel tag team & heel manager vs. face tag team & face midget matches.
Hercules Hernandez makes his first TNT appearance here where Freddie Blassie shouts stuff about his muscles, and I will tell you this: Hernandez vs. George Wells rules. Herc (as Gorilla affectionately calls him) drops Wells with a hurty-looking bodyslam, then goes up top for a crossbody… but Wells CATCHES HIM! Wells drops Herc with a backbreaker, but charges at him in the corner and takes a big bump when he misses before Herc finishes him off. A weirdly compelling big guy match, right before Herc settled into the WWF road formula.
An Iron Sheik Audience Q&A ends the show, which goes as you’d think. “You think I come 10,000 miles from Iran, Tehran to talk about camel? To talk about camel breath?”
Worth Watching?: No
Tuesday Night Titans #82 (4/30/86)
The one with Liberty Thomas.
Bobby “The Brain” Heenan has hired a hooker named Liberty Thomas and that’s really what you should know about this show.
He wears his usual sunglasses indoors, recovering from the stinging loss to Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania 2, and introduces his new protégé – a lady in a skin tight red suit, blonde bangs, and black beads hanging from each side of her head. “Every time she turns around she erases the blackboard,” says Heenan, in an interview that doesn’t exactly have the best material for anybody.
Elsewhere, Vince McMahon asks Greg Valentine a pointed question after viewing footage of their WrestleMania 2 loss where Valentine lifted Davey Boy up on a 2-count before The British Bulldogs won the Tag Titles: “Is that not the most stupid thing you’ve done in your entire career?”
The beginnings of Fuji Vice can be found here, with a quick clip that would be expanded on in future installments of TNT. Muraco and Fuji looking back at the camera as the cheesy music and graphics play is some special stuff, brothers.
“They’re not appreciating the acting ability, they’re laughing at you for crying out loud” – Vince was EXTRA on this show.
Ricky Steamboat squashes Al Navarro and even Ricky squashes in this era were great. The crowd goes WILD for his crossbody.
The Hart Foundation again gets a feature too, as the professional wrestling side of the WWF was seeing an uptick in quality. They talk about The British Bulldogs, who they claim are eating “monkey food” while they are “all natural” – uh oh. Bret gets GREASEBALL chants as he and Neidhart beat S.D. Jones and Mario Mancini, a very polished team a year into their union.
Worth Watching?: No
May through September, the final episode of TNT, is covered in Year in Review – WWF Tuesday Night Titans (1986) – Part 2.
