Thirty-four cassettes – as they called them back in the day – have been produced so far in the Coliseum Home Video Series, over fifty hours for your permanent home video library.
HA!
Mean Gene Okerlund is the host for this particular cassette, and he says that fans been clamoring for a single tape of highlights from these many hours of Coliseum… highlights. They wanted the best of the best, in and out of the ring. And so we have Grand Slams.
Mean Gene Okerlund explains that each Grand Slam will run around two-and-a-half-minutes, and there will be around 30 (well, 29) of them. He also says that the WWF wants to hear what the fans want to see in a similar cassette, and even says there will be an address at the end of the tape to send suggestions. These guys are putting an actual Call to Action out there, look at these marketing wizards.
Mean Gene Okerlund gives an intro to each and every clip so there’s a lot of copy from him here and he crushes it. I’m not sure why they always made these tapes so scattered and not chronological though.
With a few exceptions I’ve mentioned most of what this tape features throughout Happy Wrestling Land, as it is pretty much the most famous/infamous moments of the last few years as of the WWF in 1986. So what’s below is a lot of links to the reviews of the full footage I’ve done previously along with a few quick hits from present day. Unless mentioned, none of the matches below are actually in full… just clips and/or finishes.
1. The Wrestling Classic – Round 1: Dynamite Kid vs. Nikolai Volkoff (The Wrestling Classic 11/7/85)
A real quickie, with Nikolai’s Russian National Anthem foiled and Dynamite Kid established, all in 20 seconds. See Happy Thoughts – The Wrestling Classic (11/7/85) for more.
2. Steel Cage Match – WWF Intercontinental Title: Greg Valentine [c] vs. Tito Santana (Baltimore Arena 7/6/85)
This is the finish of a classic cage match, so of course it’s a classic finish. See Happy Thoughts – WWF Home Video Classics: Grudge Match ’86 (3/27/86) for more.
3. S.D. Jones vs. King Kong Bundy w/ Jimmy Hart (9-seconds match) (WrestleMania 3/31/85)
The classic squash. See Happy Thoughts – WWF WrestleMania I (3/31/85) for more.
4. Rowdy Roddy Piper/Mr. T Interview from the A-Team Set (TNT #85 3/26/85)
Rowdy Roddy Piper, full of the piss and vinegar that comes with being tapped to hype up the first WrestleMania, harasses Mr. T on the A-Team set. Great bit of business. See Year in Review – WWF Tuesday Night Titans (1985) – Part 1 for more.
5. WWF Women’s Title: Wendi Richter [c] vs. Spider Lady (Fabulous Moolah) (MSG 11/25/85)
This is the infamous Spider Lady match, a precursor to the Montreal Screwjob where Fabulous Moolah donned a mask and challenged Wendi Richter for the WWF Women’s Championship. As the story goes, the WWF wanted the title off Richter so they had Moolah shoot pin or. And maybe Richter didn’t know it was Moolah. Or did. Either way, when Spider Lady gets her in a pin the bell just rings. I never bought this as a full shoot – Wendi goes at Moolah post-match but it feels too staged. The wrestling was sloppy and awkward but that really wasn’t that out of the ordinary, and Fink’s call is suspect too: “and new WWF Ladies Champion.. The Spider? The Fabulous Moolah?” I don’t know. Either way, it Took another decade for the title to recover.
6. Kamala eats a chicken on Tuesday Night Titans (TNT #7 7/31/84)
This segment, which isn’t as horrifying as it sounds, is cut from the Tuesday Night Titans on the Network but has now aired on two Home Video Classics. Basically – Blassie brings Kamala on, Kamala grabs a chicken, people scream, and then they cut and there’s feathers in Kamala’s mouth. Haw-haw. See Happy Thoughts – WWF Home Video Classics: Bloopers, Bleeps, and Bodyslams (4/12/85) for more.
7. Haiti Kid vs. Dana Carpenter (1984)
MIDGETS! ASS BITING! I have no idea which match this is of theirs or if I have seen it before, but it sure does get the point across of what midget wrestling was like in the WWF in 1984.
8. WWF World Heavyweight Title: Bob Backlund [c] w/ Arnold Skaaland vs. Iron Sheik w/ Freddie Blassie (MSG 12/26/83)
This is the first of five Grand Slams involving controversial title changes. Backlund, the WWF’s top guy in a post-Bruno world who had held the WWF Title for years, gets trapped in the Iron Sheik’s Camel Clutch because Hulk Hogan is on his way to the territory. Backlund’s manager, Arnold Skaaland, knows he won’t submit, so he throws in the towel to avoid permanent injury. I’ve never seen the version of this with Gorilla Monsoon explaining why Skaaland threw the towel in, so that’s cool. Historical finish and a well-done angle.
9. WWF World Tag Team Title: Tony Garea & Rick Martel [c] vs. Mr. Fuji & Mr. Saito w/ Captain Lou Albano (Championship Wrestling 10/17/81)
This has one of the coolest finishes I’ve ever seen, as Martel leaps off the top with a crossbody on Saito but Fuji throws salt at him MID-AIR and Saito rolls through on the crossbody for the 3-count and tag team titles. It doesn’t hurt that Rick Martel is all young and spunky and bulked up and showing some incredible babyface fire. Fun stuff, glad I saw it.
10. No DQ Match – WWF World Tag Team Title: The Wild Samoans [c] w/ Captain Lou Albano vs. Tony Atlas & Rocky Johnson (All-American Wrestling 12/10/83)
The crowd was SO HOT for this, as Rocky and Tony win the Tag Titles when Albano breaks a chair over a Samoan head by mistake. See Year in Review – WWF Tuesday Night Titans (1984) for more.
11. WWF World Tag Team Title: The U.S. Express (Mike Rotundo & Barry Windham) [c] w/ Captain Lou Albano vs. Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff [c] w/ Freddie Blassie (WrestleMania 3/31/85)
At the first WrestleMania, Vince McMahon showed his vision for tag team wrestling: Barry is beautiful, Barry fires up, Mike argues with the ref, Sheik hits Barry with a cane, the bad guys win. The brief post-match promo from Blassie will always be a classic: “what cane… I wouldn’t.. didn’t have no cane!” See Happy Thoughts – WWF WrestleMania I (3/31/85) for more.
Terry Funk beating up ring announcer/ring attendant Mel Phillips is cut out, though a picture is on the credits. It is cut out because Phillips is a rightfully cancelled child predator.
12. WWF Intercontinental Title: Tito Santana [c] vs. Macho Man Randy Savage w/ Elizabeth (Boston Garden 2/8/86)
Macho Man Randy Savage brilliantly beats Tito Santana with the help of brass knuckles and continues his road to superstardom. See Happy Thoughts – WWF Old School (Boston Garden 2/8/86) for more.
13. Junkyard Dog & Ricky Steamboat vs. The Funk Brothers w/ Jimmy Hart (WrestleMania II 4/7/86)
A shot from the megaphone wins for the Funk Brothers at WrestleMania 2… man did Vince love sticking it to the babyfaces. See Happy Thoughts – WWF WrestleMania 2 (4/7/86) for more.
14. Arm Wrestling Match: Ivan Putski vs. Jesse Ventura (TNT #7 7/31/84)
Arm wrestling in pro wrestling is generally stupid, but if you’re going to do it this is how you do it. The Body rules here. See Year in Review – WWF Tuesday Night Titans (1984) for more.
15. Handicap Match: Andre the Giant vs. Joe Nova, Johnny Rodz & Jack Evans (4/24/84)
Pitch perfect squash with the opposition actually teaming up and vaguely having their shit together momentarily before Andre rightfully destroys them. See Happy Thoughts – WWF Home Video Classics: Andre the Giant (6/15/85) for more.
16. WWWF World Heavyweight Title: Superstar Billy Graham [c] w/ Grand Wizard vs. Bruno Sammartino (Special Referee: Gorilla Monsoon) (MSG 8/1/77)
This is a classic, and watching this brief clip I was struck how aggressive Gorilla was as the referee. The full match is phenomenal. See Happy Thoughts – WWF Home Video Classics: Grudge Match ’86 (3/27/86) for more.
17. Boxing Match: Andre the Giant vs. Gorilla Monsoon (Special Guest Ref: Joe Walcott) (Roberto Clemente Stadium 9/23/77)
This is a classic bit of business, taking place after a storm and Gorilla being a riot with big obnoxious punches and selling. See Happy Thoughts – WWF Home Video Classics: Andre the Giant (6/15/85) for more.
18. Muhammad Ali enters the ring after Gorilla Monsoon vs. Baron Mikel Scicluna and gets an airplane spin from Monsoon (Championship Wrestling 6/5/76)
Another classic bit of business involving Gorilla Monsoon. See Year in Review – WWF Tuesday Night Titans (1984)
19. WWF World Heavyweight Title: Iron Sheik [c] w/ Freddie Blassie vs. Hulk Hogan (MSG 1/23/84)
Just the Camel Clutch, Hulk Up, and leg drop here – but what a leg drop it was. See Happy Thoughts – WWF Old School (MSG 1/23/84)
20. Hulk Hogan & Mean Gene Okerlund vs. George “The Animal” Steele & Mr. Fuji (Minneapolis 8/26/84)
Hulkamania is at a fever pitch in the summer of 1984 and Hulk Hogan is returning with Mean Gene Okerlund to AWA country to an absolutely RAUCOUS reaction. Hogan rips Gene’s shirt off to reveal black young lion trunks, then they cut to the finish with a Hulk Up on Fuji and atomic drop on Steele before Gene grabs Fuji’s arm to stop a salt throw. Hogan whips Fuji and drops down for a boot from Gene, then press slams Gene onto Fuji for 3. I have no idea if Gene was supposed to actually get in the ring for that boot or not, but he hit it from the apron and it was beautiful. He jumps up onto Hulk to celebrate and they both flex. A classic that is somehow nowhere else on the Network.
21. The Killer Bees vs. Dory Funk Jr. & Jimmy Jack Funk (The Big Event 8/28/86)
THIS is what they show from The Big Event, lol. IDENTITY SWITCH~! See Happy Thoughts – WWF The Big Event (8/28/86) for more.
22. 20-Man Battle Royal (Featuring: Tony Atlas, S.D. Jones, Greg Valentine, Pedro Morales, Jimmy Snuka, Ivan Putski, Tony Garea, Adrian Adonis, Blackjack Mulligan, Chief Jay Strongbow, Jules Strongbow, Swede Hanson, Adrian Adonis, Baron Mikel Scicluna, Jose Estrada, Mr. Fuji, Mr. Saito, Charlie Fulton, Johnny Rodz, Steve Travis and Laurent Soucie) (Philadelphia Spectrum 6/26/82)
Time for Battle Royals, and Mean Gene sets the stage for this one: “A lot of wrestlers feel that this match is the most dangerous because with all that humanity in the ring at once, its virtually impossible to tell in the early stages of the bout from where you might get a hit. And then there’s the emotional side.. what do you do in the event that there’s two men left who are tag team partners, or perhaps the best of friends? Well, sometimes diplomacy can be used to solve a problem… watch here how two men can do this and at the same time not break any rules.”
A quick clip of Morales being eliminated by some jobbers is shown, then they cut to the finish – OK then. Tony Atlas, S.D. Jones, and Greg Valentine are left. A headbutt from Atlas and two dropkicks from S.D. send Valentine out, and by god – Atlas and S.D. are friends! They prepare to lockup… then HUG and we cut to a COIN FLIP. Atlas wins and gently press slams S.D. over the top rope to the apron, and then S.D. claps and re-enters the ring so they can celebrate together. Weirdly, in Philadelphia especially, this goes over just fine enough with the live audience. Cute angle.
23. 20-Man WWF vs. NFL Battle Royal (Featuring: Andre the Giant, Bruno Sammartino, Big John Studd, Iron Sheik, Pedro Morales, Hillbilly Jim, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, King Tonga, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, B. Brian Blair, Jumpin’ Jim Brunzell, William “The Refrigerator” Perry, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin and Ernie Holmes) (WrestleMania II 4/7/86)
Just the finish here, down to The Hart Foundation and Andre and a few football players. I forgot how much fire The Fridge had! See Happy Thoughts – WWF WrestleMania 2 (4/7/86) for more.
24. $50,000 22-Man Battle Royal (Featuring: Junkyard Dog, Greg Valentine, Brutus Beefcake, Jimmy Hart, King Kong Bundy, Big John Studd, Bobby Heenan, “Luscious” Johnny Valiant, Dynamite Kid, Davey Boy Smith, Pedro Morales, Harley Race, Tony Atlas, King Tonga, Billy Jack Haynes, Tony Garea, Leaping Lanny Poffo, S.D. Jones, Moondog Spot and Moondog Rex) (MSG 7/12/86)
Read those 22 names in full – what a stacked lineup. Studd and Bundy are thrown out right away, and they skim through the match as Jimmy Hart is occasionally shown hiding under the ring. Junkyard Dog and Valentine, the Great Battle Royal Warrior, are the final two – or so it seems. Valentine throws JYD outside but through the middle rope, and JYD drags Jimmy from under the ring and tosses him back inside. Valentine and Jimmy double team JYD and then try to throw him out, but JYD headscissors Valentine and they both fall to the floor. Jimmy Hart wins and does an epic, obnoxious celebration, where the referee’s like “ALRIGHT ALRIGHT..”
25. Mongolian Stretcher Match: Andre the Giant vs. Killer Khan (Philadelphia Spectrum 11/14/81)
This was a pretty infamous match on the Internet before gimmick matches got way out of hand. Andre is great these last couple minutes, throwing a half-hatch suplex and ass splashes for days. He drops a proper belly splash on big Khan, who is rolled face-first onto a stretcher and carried away. “And now we know who the real and only giant in professional wrestling is!” shouts Vince as the crowd cheers.
26. $15,000 Bodyslam Challenge – If Andre Doesn’t Slam Studd, He Retires: Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd w/ Bobby Heenan (WrestleMania 3/31/85)
This is a match I watched as a child a lot and can point to being a key part of sucking me into the pro wrestling love. It’s also a match I watched as an adult and think is just awful. Alas, famous wrestling. See Happy Thoughts – WWF WrestleMania I (3/31/85)
27. Grand Wizard with Luke Graham ringside interview with Vince McMahon (1970s)
Vince McMahon interviews Grand Wizard and his rumored favorite wrestler Crazy Luke Graham before the show at ringside and it’s real good. Wizard was an amazing promo, articulate and obnoxious with a motivation. He’s got quite the group: The Golden Grahams, Stan “The Man” Stasiak, The Masked Destroyer, and his latest… Jerry Blackwell. Vince thinks he paid a fan to hold up a sign for him, while he thinks Vince McMahon is in on something: “You, Mr. McMahon, hold card number one in the Bob Backlund Fan Club!”
“Luke Graham and I are unquestionably two of the most popular men in professional wrestling today!” yells the Wizard, to which Vince asks, “How do you explain all the boos that we hear when you and Luke Graham are announced?” Wizard thinks it’s the BOOze in the fans that makes them boo them!
“There’s only a thin line between genius and insanity… it’s not our fault that those people out there don’t have the brains to recognize that.”
Great lines, great delivery, great stuff. Luke Graham looks real cool too.
28. Lou Albano wins Manager of the Year (Championship Wrestling 9/21/85)
Heenan thinks he’s a lock, but Hillbilly Jim transfers his votes to Captain Lou Albano so Albano wins. Then poor Jim gets assaulted by King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd. See Year in Review – WWF Tuesday Night Titans (1985) – Part 2 for more.
29. Steel Cage Match – WWF Intercontinental Title: Magnificent Muraco [c] vs. Jimmy Snuka (MSG 10/17/83)
The classic match with THE SPLASH OFF THE CAGE, so cool it made two VHS tapes released on the same day. See Happy Thoughts – WWF Home Video Classics: Most Unusual Matches (5/16/85) for more.
This is a solid digest for the uninitiated and has some fresh stuff that isn’t on the Network like Mean Gene wrestling in Minnesota and that Grand Wizard promo. It’s a little all over the place and the best stuff is best seen in full, but it’s still packed with quality sports entertainment. 6/10
