Tl;dr: This is a rare WWF 80s house show with THREE great matches.
Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary.
1. Billy Jack Haynes vs. Cowboy Bob Orton w/ Jimmy Hart
Orton enters to Piper’s theme, sporting a kilt and “AMERICAN MADE” t-shirt. He makes Haynes look better than anyone has in the WWF yet, but this goes to a 20-minute draw and that’s just silly. Orton does shtick and bumping to get them through it, but this was no good, even if it did include this line on commentary: “An outside wristlock… the most painful of all of them.” *3/4
2. Raymond Rougeau & Leaping Lanny Poffo w/ Jacques Rougeau vs. The Moondogs
Jacques Rougeau is at ringside on crutches, replaced by WWF’s poet laureate Lanny Poffo. This is another match highlighted by a line on commentary: “What an accomplished wrestler Spotty is, and he disguises it all by looking like… uh, I don’t know what you could say.” Otherwise Lanny takes heat from the Moondogs which isn’t exactly a walk in the park, and even the hot tag is more of a casual tag. Jacques trips Spot with his crutch and Ray wins with a crossbody. *3/4
3. Koko B. Ware vs. Jimmy Jack Funk
This is Koko’s first appearance on the WWE Network and, as the ring announcer lets us know, “he is accompanied by his friend, Frankie B. Ware!” He trots to the ring with ol’ Frankie the Parrot on his shoulder, going full parrot and waving around like a madman. He casually puts the bird on a pedestal and continues to dance, soaking in the adulation of a crowd who just wanted to see a guy dance. The match itself is no good – Jack doesn’t get much offense which is probably a good thing, but it’s a lot of arm wringers and armbars from Koko before Jack brings his NOOSE into the ring, then pushes the referee as Gorilla buries the ref for taking so long to call for the DQ. Koko… noose… not a great visual, folks. *1/2
4. WWE Intercontinental Title: Macho Man Randy Savage [c] w/ Elizabeth vs. Ricky Steamboat
Ah yeah, just a casual classic from two of the greats. Ricky works a series of armbars but I mean he really works the shit out of them while Savage grabs hair to escape and is just generally an ass. They keep working in and out of holds in this wonderful dance of professional wrestling until Savage uses a foreign object to take control. Ricky’s eventual standing vertical suplex and high crossbody feel HUGE. Savage eventually does the axehandle to the hardwood floor and misses, leading to a countout. Ricky beats Savage up afterwards. ***3/4
5. Hercules Hernandez vs. Salvatore Bellomo
Hercules has gotten the haircut he’d be more well-known for, while poor Sal is booed for his first appearance in a while. He’s put on a few pounds, and not of muscle. Herc overpowers him on a couple lockups and Sal looks shocked. He’s pretty quickly put in a Torture Rack and Hercules wins. Impressive visual, iffy wrestling. *
6. Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Magnificent Muraco w/ Mr. Fuji
Another casual classic, nothing pretty but another one where two of the greats have what feels like a near-peak 80s match that would’ve gotten to full epic status if it didn’t get cut short by shenanigans. This isn’t the beautiful dance of a match Steamboat/Savage had – this is a war. Muraco enters wearing a kilt and to Piper’s theme just like Cowboy Bob, apparently the worst form of shit talk a man could do back in the day. Piper throws his kilt in Muraco’s face and it’s ON, as Muraco bumps around and Alfred pops for a bulldog.
A thumb to the eye puts Muraco in control, Fuji hits Piper with a cane, and Piper bleeds which gets the crowd even more rowdy. Piper does an awesome spot where he has to keep trying and trying to get past Muraco and back into the ring as blood pours down his face, and he eventually breaks through and gets on top of Muraco with punches. They bleed and punch and bleed and punch until Fuji hooks Piper’s leg off a suplex, but Piper KICKS OUT which I’m honestly not sure ever happened again in the WWF in the 1980s. Piper grabs Fuji and Muraco charges, but Fuji gets hit and Piper rolls Muraco up for 3. CLASSIC. ***3/4
7. WWF Women’s Tag Team Title: Leilani Kai & Judy Martin [c] vs. Penny Mitchell & Candice Perdue
Shtick and leglocks, baby. Candice Perdue takes some heat and gets a hot-ish tag, but a stiff powerboat from Judy Martin puts an end to the challengers. A sound match not meant to be anything more. **
8. Sika w/ The Wizard vs. Scott McGhee
I dreaded this when it popped up but Sika steps up here, doing a lot cooler stuff than usual, though most of that cooler stuff involves McGhee’s body being put in great harm. Sika catches a crossbody and slams him down, brings him back in the ring with a bodyslam that would cause any normal man a hip replacement, and ends the match by catching McGhee with a rib-crackling Samoan drop. Wizard gets on commentary mid-match too and brings up hearing from the late Grand Wizard, who had died just a few years earlier. What a weird gimmick. *
9. WWF World Tag Team Title: The British Bulldogs [c] vs. The Hart Foundation w/ Jimmy Hart
Exactly as expected from these two teams, just great straight-up wrestling in the prime of their tag team careers. They work a template WWF tag but every move thrown has an extra oomph to it and the Davey/Neidhart exchanges are genuinely good in a spectacle kind of way. Bret and Dynamite are interesting to watch as far as guys who very quickly adapted to the formulaic WWF “style” but still stayed true to themselves and added in enough extra things to perfect the formula.
Bulldogs get in some stuff early, including a cool thing where Dynamite aggressively fights off both Hart and Neidhart in the Hart Foundation corner, before the Foundation takes control. The way they take control is so smooth – Davey Boy ducks a Neidhart clothesline hits the ropes and gets a knee from Hart, then Neidhart immediately throws Davey outside and Hart bodyslams him on the floor as Jimmy Hart admires his boys’ work: “Beautiful, baby, beautiful!” Neidhart works a LONG front facelock on Davey Boy, and in the moment it isn’t the most fun thing to watch but when Davey almost gets to Dynamite and Bret pulls Davey back by his tights the heat is INCREDIBLE.
So is the hot tag setup – Davey Boy press slams Bret and drops him on his nuts on the top rope before bringing in Dynamite who is a brick shithouse of fire. The ref goes down, Neidhart puts Bret on top of Dynamite and revives the referee, Davey Boy struggles to get inside and Dynamite is able to kick out at two – WOO. All four guys get in the ring and Davey Boy rolls up Neidhart for 3 even though they were both illegal. I’d get mad, but Neidhart’s face after the rollup is marvelous. ****1/4
The undercard is trash, but the top three matches are all worth checking out. 9/10
