G1 Climax, Monday Night RAW, SmackDown Live, G1 Climax, 205 Live, NXT U.K., NXT, G1 Climax, NXT TakeOver, G1 Climax, SummerSlam, G1 Climax THERE IS SO MUCH WRESTLING CAN WE ALL JUST RELAX FOR A LITTLE BIT?
OH MY GOD AEW IS STARTING UP SOON.
WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL MY FAMILY?
RAW (8/5/19)
Lots of eye-rolling and dead spots but also a few hot angles to bring us home to a confusingly hyped SummerSlam.
Samoa Joe crushed a promo that interrupted the RAW theme, which saw more #PlayingWithConvention (and there was a lot of that – more on that in a sec). Joe was the all-star of this entire show, opening it up with a blazing hot rant, taking the ring hostage mid-show like a cool cat, then finally his reaction to the Roman Reigns car crash (uh – more on that in a sec) which was SO GOOD as he went for a testosterone-filled dude ready to scrap to one man concerned for another. It was all kind of brilliant, as he screamed “GET A MEDIC OUT HERE!” while still being kind of pissed he couldn’t beat up Roman.
So yeah, there was a car crash. Somebody drove their car into Roman Reigns’ car, which is now the second time someone has tried to kill this poor millionaire. I’m not sure I have much else to say, about the angle or about WWE doing these goofy angles again. I think I like it. Stupid fun is better than sad disappointment, you know?
And then there was more #PlayingWithConvention here too, which is fun to follow when you’re looking for it and also a nerd who might read too much into stuff:
Becky Lynch interrupted Joe mid-rant for her match, which made her look like a proper badass. They did back-to-back backstage interviews with Becky and Natalya later on. And I was a big fan of all the weaving together of stuff with Kurt Angle having fun with the Street Profits and turning down milk because he told his wife they took it easy, only for him to enter as a Special Guest Referee for a Drew McIntyre vs. Cedric Alexander match that didn’t begin because McIntyre attacked Cedric again and then THE FIEND appeared and attacked Kurt! First of all: WHAT A CURVEBALL! And second of all: I KNEW Kurt was jealous that Foley got to put over The Fiend last week. Late-stage Kurt is the most selfless legend in wrestling.
Also a big fan of when WWE realizes things like, “Holy shit, Drew tapped Kurt out 6 months ago with his own hold. We can SAY THAT! On TV!”
The only good match on the show was Rey Mysterio vs. Andrade, which was a shorter version of their SmackDown epics earlier in the year. They hit so much freakish stuff: the baseball slide sunset flip, Rey’s springboard backflip into a crucifix bomb, a headscissors caught with a tossing powerbomb. Great frantic cradles at the end too, just unreal. I’m jealous of Zelina Vega – she has a front row seat to all this magic.
Otherwise none of the wrestling was all that good. Becky and Charlotte Flair vs. Natalya and Trish Stratus was a bunch Natty fumbling around in the ring to set up some key spots – Charlotte tagging herself in, the Trish hot tag tease, Charlotte and leaving Becky. No Trish tag in was a bad look. The Viking Raiders had another fine SPLAT of a tag team, which included one guy who prompted a Coheed & Cambria reference from Corey Graves. Big E & Xavier Woods vs. Gallows & Anderson became a 6-man with AJ Styles and Ricochet and I support 6-mans, but this was basic as hell. AJ Styles will still bump on his face off a baseball slide though.
Glad Gallows has the paint back!
Mike & Maria Kanellis participated in some hijinks at an OBGYN that resulted in R-Truth regaining the 24/7 Title, while Brock Lesnar and Seth Rollins did the same gimmick as last week with Brock wrecking Seth, which for some unknown reason had less heat this week.
Hated the WWE Women’s Title 4-Way. I love The IIconics as characters, think they are BRILLIANT, but they have never been ready for in-ring main roster stuff and WWE has just been like “WELP.” The match (which also involved Asuka & Kairi Sane, Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville, and Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross just droned on, with the early IIconics elimination the most interesting thing. I was also struck by Mandy being all “WHA!?” when Alexa tagged her in after Asuka gave Alexa trouble, even though Mandy had been standing next to Alexa like a dummy the entire time, easily susceptible to a tag. Like, why not do something where you try and hide from a tag or something? SMH.
Yay Alexa and Nikki though – well deserved. I think.
I still do not understand WWE’s intentions with the Shawn Michaels teases, but the swerve with The Miz revealing Dolph Ziggler‘s opponent as Goldberg was a weird angle with a power that I could not deny. I mean THAT POP!! Everything about this might be troubling (why not a tag, why not involve someone fresher, why is HBK here, where does The Miz go as a face, etc etc), but THAT POP.
SMACKDOWN (8/6/19)
This show started rough. Nobody doubts she’s a legend but Trish Stratus is not a capable live performer with a microphone anymore. The exchange with Charlotte Flair felt last-minute desperate “let’s give this match a hook” than anything actually interesting.
There was some good wrestling on this show kind of hurt by the picture-in-picture commercial gimmick. Dolph Ziggler (who did Goldberg’s entrance in a good bit) vs. Rey Mysterio became Ziggler vs. Ali when Ziggler attacked Rey, which was a hot match that saw Ali being just awesome for 3 minutes opposite Ziggler’s usual shtick. Sucks that Ali’s promo on Ziggler before it could only be seen not heard picture-in-picture.
Then poor Sami Zayn and Aleister Black got bumped from SummerSlam, which really stinks because that’s a legit show-stealer man c’mon. It ended up a match that was mostly a commercial break followed by a Black squash, and it was pretty good TV but lacking something. Black doing that promo laying down with the smoke and awkward mic was absolutely legendary stuff, but he should never carry a mic when he does those promos ever again.
Bayley, Natalya and Ember Moon continue to limp to SummerSlam – I’m sure (I hope!) the matches will be cool live in Toronto. Shane McMahon laying out Kevin Owens felt… unnecessary. Like, the feud kinda speaks for itself now – just do a promo or something. Chad Gable is tanned and jacked and being height shamed by Elias, who he will probably carry to his best match in a while next week. And Bray Wyatt was being all creepy again.
The Kofi Kingston interview/video package was awesome just like last week’s with Randy Orton. I am breathing a sigh of relief that they went with the built-in, logical, really cool build that they had based on history and didn’t over-complicate it at all.
The main event was Big E & <b?>Xavier Woods vs. Daniel Bryan & Rowan, and it was a fun little TV match, yes it was. Woods bumped, E did the hot tag, and there was a very cool spot where the Yes Kicks led to a Stretch Muffler from E that was countered into a YesLock that was countered into a powerbomb. Rowan also threw a very good running spin kick, and I was impressed by Bryan’s ability to be thrown to the floor and jump up in time to take E’s crazy spear tope spot.
But that wasn’t all. Because the REAL main event was about the follow-up from the attempted murder on Roman Reigns two weeks in a row, which is some saucy stuff that I am glad I am typing about. First Roman did a sit-down interview mid-show where he looked to the camera and genuinely apologized to Samoa Joe which I thought was GREAT, which resulted from claps from the crowd. Give me Joe as a face man, GIVE ME WHAT I WANT.
The Reigns interrogation of Buddy Murphy to close the show was a wild watch, on one hand so cheesy and on one hand such a weird interesting thing for WWE to be doing. Buddy, who will hopefully be used in a more interesting position stemming from this, is thrown across a table and reveals that he saw Rowan the night that big structure fell on him, but not Bryan. And Bryan and Rowan stare on from the ring with poker faces.
So now we’ve got a cliffhanger… for SUMMERSLAM? That’s kind of… good? I don’t know.
205 LIVE (8/6/19)
Another show with two good matches but no heat but also ONEY VS DREW OH MY GOD.
Humberto Carrillo vs. Lince Dorado did cool stuff that felt like they were working out of an empty warehouse. The dueling roll-through dropkicks were an awesome twist on the usual stuff. Awkward moonsault aside, Humberto is one of the most impressive specimens WWE has under contract. Ariya Daivari approaching Lince afterwards saying that Lucha House Party is holding him back was kind of adorable.
Could not believe the social media overload for the main event promos – first Kalisto spoke to us through Twitter, then Jack Gallagher through Facebook, then Oney Lorcan through Facebook, then Akira Tozawa and Brian Kendrick from Twitter. CALM DOWN.
The 6-Pack Challenge main event to determine the #1 Contender to Drew Gulak‘s Cruiserweight Title had a few things going for it: everybody seemed to be waiting around to take a big Daivari splash into the ring, but then they casually stepped aside and he flopped into the mat. Later on, Kalisto tried a somersault plancha onto four people and he was caught, then dumped onto the announce table. Finally, Tozawa was powerbombed by Tony Nese onto Oney. A half-and-half suplex as a finish after all the insanity felt off but still ONEY VS DREW OH MY GOD.
NXT UK 55 (8/7/19)
There was a video package they aired on this show, three weeks out from the first NXT UK TakeOver in seven months, with a bunch of people on the roster like Travis Banks, Xia Brookside, and Jinny suddenly suddenly saying what TakeOver meant to them, and that they needed to start doing what they needed to do to earn a shot at being on it. Three weeks out. Three. Everyone’s just like, “Oh shit – good point, we should be on TakeOver.” As someone watching the TV, it’s disappointing. But as a satire on WWE and NXT UK in general, it might be spot on.
This particular show was main evented by Bomber Dave Mastiff vs. Joe Coffey, which like next week’s Ohno/Dragunov match, is probably something that should be on a TakeOver if WWE was putting some real care into making this whole NXT UK thing pop.
Show started with Noam Dar vs. Ashton Smith though, and – why? Dar does the fake injury gimmick again and eventually wins as a result of something else. Nigel is asked what Smith needs to do to break out, and Nigel sends to win matches. No lie there.
I have no idea what any of the tag division guys said. Not even going to try.
Piper Niven & Xia Brookside vs. Jinny & Jazzy Gabert was just some stuff to get to the Niven/Rhea Ripley brawl, and then Xia gave Jinny trouble despite Jazzy being on the apron, and then Jazzy beat Xia and it was all obvious and lame and didn’t help anybody.
Kassius Ohno turning the lights on during Ilja Dragunov‘s promo was kinda funny. That match should be good, right?
The Bomber vs. Coffey match was all about selling, which I both admired and think detracted from what they need to do with these guys. It started off bad with an overly convoluted spot where Coffey tore off the middle turnbuckle pad and Bomber bounced off it to set something up (why!?), and Coffey speared him into it to setup heat and a long, long armbar. But then Bomber kept on selling throughout the match, and I dug what he was going for, including a wild swing as he tried to recover. Coffey also ended up selling his EAR, which I am very fond of. And as a match to prove to the boys to the back that these two big fellas can sell, it was good. But, just – how is this helping anybody? How is this making this NXT UK thing appealing??
It ended in a double countout, naturally.
NXT (8/7/19)
A contract signing, a Riddle/Dain match that became a Riddle/Dain angle, and a bunch of video packages. SO MANY VIDEO PACKAGES. It must be time for a TakeOver!!!
The Street Profits/Kyle O’Reilly & Bobby Fish contract signing for the NXT Tag Team Titles match was a fun version of the usual stuff, with a hilarious intro by the Profits for the Undisputed Era and an equally hilarious burial by the Era of it.
Why did Corey Taylor do a promo on this show and why does he sound just like The Miz?
Shane Thorne vs. Joaquin Wilde was a very… I don’t know, ROH 2009 match? “Yeah I got a lot more where that came from!” – shut up, DJZ.
Matt Riddle‘s “OH SHIT” face when Killian Dain ambushed him on the floor almost made up for them not having the match yet.
Fandango having to take a “step back” from the business because Breezango‘s fashion wasn’t keeping up with the times is one of the greatest reasons for a wrestling absence of all time. God bless you, Jonathan Curtis.
The show closed with the last 10 minutes of Prime Target, an Adam Cole/Johnny Gargano hype documentary that only just informed me that this was kind of a 3 Stages of Hell match. This feud, man. I dunno.
MAIN EVENT (8/7/19)
There was magic in the here on Hulu dot com as Dana Brooke vs. Sarah Logan happened yet AGAIN but it honestly just keeps getting better -stiffer, more intense, and they are perfecting the usual stuff they do like Dana’s face-first bump into the middle rope and Dana’s fired up comebacks. Logan also caught the handspring elbow with a deadlift German suplex and we need to show some appreciation for that. If you want to see what these two can do, because I’m not sure WWE seems keen on letting anyone see it anywhere else, this is a Main Event Match Worth Watching.
That’s not all though. The Revival and Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins got to have a good old-fashioned tag team wrestling match that I am also calling a Main Event Match Worth Watching. The action figure boys did a double flapjack, The Revival dished a beating, The Revival shouted WOO WOO WOO and catapulted Ryder’s neck into the bottom rope, Hot Tag Hawkins soon emerged, and they brought it home with an awesome finish: Hawkins saves Ryder from a double suplex, sacrifices himself by taking a Shatter Machine, Ryder reverses a Shatter Machine on himself to hit the Rough Ryder on Dash, but Dawson rolls Ryder up for 3. WOOO!
WWE TV Match of the Week: Rey Mysterio vs. Andrade from RAW
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Samoa Joe, easily.
It’s been an odd build to SummerSlam and TakeOver: Toronto, but WWE took it home with some wild stuff.
RAW: 7/10
SmackDown: 7/10
205 Live: 7/10
NXT UK: 4/10
NXT: 5/10
