YOSHI-HASHI vs. Chase Owens – New Japan Cup (Round 2)
Look. This certainly was a wrestling match between YOSHI-HASHI and Chase Owens, but it turns out that I’m more a fan of that than whatever Chase and Juice tried to do in the first round. They went the right amount of time (ie: not 25 minutes) and the heel/face dynamic was a lot more effective – YOSHI-HASHI the poor boy with special needs fighting off old-school heel Owens and his midlife crisis juggalo pal Jado was a story that the crowd bought into.
Also, Chase ramming YOSHI in the apron and then screaming ‘’I JUST YOSHI-HASHI’D YOSHI-HASHI’’ might be the greatest thing to happen in a New Japan Pro-Wrestling ring in 2019. Last few minutes had some good near-falls and a few interesting twists like Chase randomly busting out the Dragon Lee tree-of-woe foot stomp of death. CHASE ON THE CASE, baby. ***
Tomohiro Ishii vs. Taichi – New Japan Cup (Round 2)
It took a while for them to move past Taichi’s stalling and eyeraking shenanigans, but once they did, shit got very real. And you know what, Taichi’s heel shtick turned out to be a key part of the story they were telling here, because this match was all about Ishii baiting DANGEROUS T into FIGHTING LIKE A MAN, without the aid of his ever-expanding weaponry. Watching Taichi grow frustrated and gradually fall into Ishii’s trap was half the fun of this match – great facial expressions and emoting from both guys.
They truly went FULL ALL JAPAN for a bit, to the point the commentary team were referencing Kawada vs. Tenryu and saying epic shit like ‘’BLACK AND YELLOW ECSTASY’’. Taichi no-selling a Piledriver and then quickly grabbing his neck in pain before kicking Ishii right in the head was a Peak Kawada Moment. The ending was a little heavy on kickouts, kinda like a Fire Pro match where you’re desperately trying to boost your match rating by adding a bunch of 2.999 near-falls at the last minute, but the crowd ate it all up so maybe I’m just an asshole. ***3/4
Will Ospreay vs. Lance Archer – New Japan Cup (Round 2)
A match in the mold of William Ospreay himself: equal parts exciting and kinda dumb. We’ve all seen the GIF of the Blackout reversal by now: it was very bad. But this match also had a lot of good stuff going for it. Ospreay working as the underdog against giant brutes is a solid time-tested formula, even if all of his yelping and dead-eyed kickouts can get a little grating.
Archer played his part well, meaning he told people to SHADDAP and beat the shit out of Will. Him POUNCING Will in mid-air to counter the Oscutter was pure fucking insanity, as was his variety of apocalyptic Choke slams. Will’s comebacks were fun and the crowd got behind his struggle, but I wish they wouldn’t book him as this superhuman dude that can kick out of everything. It’s starting to feel like a case of too much too soon instead of a talented high-flyer outsmarting heavyweights. ***1/4
Kazuchika Okada vs. Mikey Nichols – New Japan Cup (Round 2)
Not sure if the best way to make a big splash in NJPW is to go out and have a very bland wrestling match with Kazuchika Okada. There was nothing outright bad about this, but the most memorable thing that happened was Lil Kazu bleeding from the chest. This man’s chest is not having a good time in this tournament. Okada let Nichols do his thing for most of the match, and his thing mostly consisted of headlocks. Last 5 minutes had a few good moments and that last Rainmaker looked brutal, but that’s about it. **3/4
Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Ryusuke Taguchi – New Japan Cup (Round 2)
Tana loves trying to turn the crowd against him at Korakuen Hall during the New Japan Cup. He tried it last year against Juice, and this was definitely his goal for half of this match with Taguchi. His heelish streak made the early parts of the match better for me, as both guys seemed to be going through the motions for a bit, yet I was all about Tanahashi giving scornful looks to the pro-Taguchi crowd while targeting the leg.
The real good stuff came when Taguchi started mounting his big babyface comeback. Tons of fun exchanges, great cut-offs from Tana and all the Big Match Taguchi offense that YOU crave. Liked Taguchi giving Tana a taste of his own medicine with the ankle lock spots and then Tana bouncing back with all the flash rollups. Tana getting the pin with a picture-perfect Dragon suplex = Life. ***1/4
Kota Ibushi vs. Zack Sabre Jr. – New Japan Cup (Round 2)
On the one hand, this match did nothing to reinvent the Ibushi/Zack dynamic. On the other hand, I don’t think it’s a dynamic that needs reinventing – I kinda love it as is. It’s logical, exciting and easy to grasp. Zack knows a submission counter for everything, but Ibushi’s kicks will thoroughly destroy his fragile vegan body. It’s a modern twist on the striker vs. grappler template with 100% more tempeh and I’m always there for it.
This thing obviously had its fair share of mind-warping reversals and Holy Shit moments, but the emotion and tension between these guys is what kept me hooked. Stuff like Zack slapping Ibushi while having him trapped in a modified Indian Deathlock and instantly pissing him the fuck off is the kind of shit I live for. But yeah, those counters are completely insane, man. That entire ending stretch with Kota trying to get in position for the Kamigoye but ZSJ constantly finding a way out was a real work of art. ****
Toru Yano vs. Colt Cabana – New Japan Cup (Round 2)
Not as funny as I had anticipated, but still pretty funny. For a guy that has no business being in this tournament, Colt is legitimately good at working the Japanese crowds and getting them on board with his shtick. Yano’s Yano, so this had the exact amount of turnbuckle spots one would expect, if not more. I’ll give ‘em credit: they got me with the same-direction running spot. Good times. **1/2
SANADA vs. Minoru Suzuki – New Japan Cup (Round 2)
I was a big fan of their match from February and this one was right up my alley as well. Like Goto in the first round, Suzuki’s one of the few guys able to get some real fire out of SANADA and push him from Guy With Terrible Beard and Cool Muto Spots into something a little more complete. A lot of this is done via the ancient Japanese wrestling technique of ‘’forearming someone really fucking hard in the face””, also known as the quickest way to wake up your sleepy neighborhood goth hunk SANADA.
Another thing that Suzuki did extremely well in this match was to take all of SANADA’s Very Dumb Offense and use it as a deadly weapon against him. Case in point: the old bastard playing possum during the Paradise lock only to duck a charging SANADA at the last second, or him pretending to wait around like an idiot during the springboard dropkick only to grab onto a god damn kneebar in mid-air.
I thought the penultimate submission showdown with SANADA and Minoru going back and forth between the Skull End and a simple leglock was fucking brilliant and tied all of the match’s various plot threads beautifully. Icing on the cake: a downed Suzuki screaming like a Shakespearean villain living his last moments on Earth as SANADA made the climb for the Moonsault. I don’t care if you’re tired of his crowd brawling shtick, Minoru Suzuki is a wrestling genius deserving of our adoration. ****
