Hiroyoshi Tenzan, Satoshi Kojima & Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Minoru Suzuki, Takashi Iizuka & TAKA Michinoku
Tenzan’s attempt at rehabilitating Iizuka’s soul before his retirement is the most relatable story in New Japan right now. We all have that one friend who made some weird life choices and turned into a flesh-eating monster. But guess what, Hiroyoshi Tenzan is here to tell you that it’s never too late to reconnect. This is what pro-wrestling is all about. I am giving this two whole stars for Tenzan’s limited edition ‘’TENZAN/IIZUKA: FRIENDS’’ t-shirt, which will hopefully be available in every Hot Topic any minute now. **
EVIL & SANADA vs. Ayato Yoshida & Shota Umino
I love me some hierarchy in Japanese wrestling and this little undercard ditty made perfect use of this crazy ass concept. The young boyz put up a gutsy performance against the tag champs and EVIL /SANADA forced them fight for every scrap of offense, making all of the hope spots and comebacks all the more satisfying. EVIL is particularly good in the role of veteran enforcer – I could watch him double chop down young lions all day. Sidenote: Shota seems to lose all of his Future Ace appeal whenever Tanahashi doesn’t do his hair. Can’t start slacking with that hair straightener if you wanna make it to the top, baby. ***
Tetsuya Naito, BUSHI & Shingo Takagi vs. Taichi, Yoshinobu Kanemaru & El Desperado
Fun as hell sprint with everyone putting in a quality minute or two. Shingo has such advanced chemistry with the Suzuki-Gun guys that they’re already finding new ways to tweak the already-elaborate-as-fuck sequences in their routine, namely Shingo’s pop-up DVD and Kanemaru’s tilt-a-whirl DDT (which Shingo somehow turned into a God damn deadlift Vertical suplex). The whole post-match bit with Roppongi 3K getting booed out of the buiding was kind of shocking and I was surprised by how well YOH handled the whole situation. ***
KOTA IBUSHI IS STAYING IN NEW JAPAN AND ALL IS WELL!
YOSHI-HASHI & Tomoaki Honma vs. Yujiro Takahashi & Chase Owens
YOSHI-HASHI and Yujiro flubbing through YOSHI’s dumbass Bunker Buster will haunt my dreams. This had no business being this high up on the card and did a fine job highlighting New Japan’s 2019 undercard woes. Due to the whole NJPW USA visa fiasco, there’s an overabundance of okay-at-best wrestlers with limited upside just working formulaic house show matches on this tour and the undercards have been an absolute drag to get through at times. No good. *3/4
Togi Makabe & Toru Yano vs. Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa
The clear highlight of this match was Tama Tonga taking the camera hostage to butcher an entire monologue from Scarface. The usual soporific beatdown from GOD and then some shtick from Makabe and Yano. See previous complaints about the state of the undercards on this tour. Also, is this the most boring version of the Bullet Club ever? Sure, no one in the current lineup is as grating as the Elite guys, but I’m struggling to care about anyone other than Jay and Taiji. *3/4
Taiji Ishimori © vs. Ryusuke Taguchi – IWGP Jr Heavyweight Title
And we’re back on track with Big Match Taguchi getting the best match out of Taiji since the BOSJ finals with Hiromu. So much to like about this one. Clear-cut, logical story-telling with Taiji proving himself immune to Taguchi’s Sailor Boy mind games and working circles around the butt master for the first half of the match, constantly showing him up with his superior athleticism, conditioning and TAN.
Taguchi might be an out of shape pervert, but he’s still got a bunch of tricks up his sleeve, including a vast array of mind-bending ankle lock reversal spots that sent the crowd in a damn frenzy thanks to Taiji selling all of them like hot death. Incredibly smooth execution from both guys – Taiji possibly hitting his best sliding German suplex ever at one point.
Would have taken another 5 minutes of this stuff considering how insanely hot the crowd was getting by the end. Just the kind of match I needed to restore by faith in Taiji after the boring outing with KUSHIDA at the Dome. Bring on Taiji/Liger. ***3/4
Kazuchika Okada vs. Bad Luck Fale
This was billed as a Special Singles match but the title should have been ‘’Here’s why Kazuchika Okada is good at pro-wrestling’’. Only the cream of the crop can get exciting matches out of Fale and Okada made a strong case for Best Bad Luck Fale Opponent with his performance here.
The selling (coughing up a storm after taking the highest back body drop of all time), the facial expressions (mugging to the crowd like an Anime character on the verge of a mental breakdown during the big forearm exchange), the superstar charisma (jumping on top of the announce table to rile up the fans) – Lil Kazu milked every possible little detail to turn what could have been a fairly pedestrian David vs. Goliath type match into a crazy fun time.
Fale was out there wearing Dudley Boyz pants and a black t-shirt yet Okada made him look like god damn Big Van Vader. I’ve really had my fill of Gedo’s shitty WWE-lite booking, so even though YOSHI-HASHI making the save without destroying his face was fun, I could have done without the entire Bullet Club interference bit. Other than that, rock-solid wrasslin’. ***1/2
Hiroshi Tanahashi © vs Jay White – IWGP Heavyweight Title
You gotta hand it to Tanahashi. The guy went through a fantastic year-long resurgence storyline only to turn into a transitional champion, yet he’s still out there trying his damn hardest to make the best out of the situation and pull a classic out of Jay White. The match never quite reached that Peak Tana MOTY level, but there was still plenty to like about it.
All the loveable tropes of a classic Tana main event were there: dueling limb work, Tanahashi selling his ass off, mind-blowing counters and Tana shaving off another year of his career with the obligatory High Fly Attack to the floor. From a technical standpoint, Jay more than hung in there with Tana, but in terms of aura and presence, I never felt like Jay was a match for the Ace and this is where the match suffered the most.
Jay didn’t lean hard enough into his heel personality to counterbalance Tana’s larger than life babyfacing and came off as a little bland, recalling his match against Kenny from last year rather than his awesome performance against Juice in the US. It’s a shame because mechanically-speaking, all of the wrestling between both guys more than delivered.
The TTO near-submission was an incredible moment, as was Tanahashi seamlessly Sling Blading out of the Bladerunner for a massive pop. The finish absolutely swept the floor from under me when I saw it live at 6 AM and more than held up upon rewatch. And despite all of this I never bought Jay as a guy that should be IWGP champion right now. ****
