Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are on commentary and Monsoon is talking up WrestleMania 2.
The WWF had an even bigger show in Philadelphia on this evening, highlighted by Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk, The Dream Team vs. The British Bulldogs, and Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy.
1. Leaping Lanny Poffo vs. Paul Christy
Christy is announced as from Hickory Hills, IL and Poffo from Downers Grove, IL – just a ride down I-294 for these boys to visit each other. The match they had together was rough though. The LENGTH of the armbars here. Poffo doing athletic stuff is kinda neat, but overwhelmed by his gross white tights. Poffo taking a bump from the top rope to the floor gets a pop, more for anything happening at all. 80s wrestling could be simpler and wonderful – it could also just suck. *
2. Siva Afi vs. Barry O
Barry O is announced from “fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada.” This was very much a professional wrestling match. Barry is occasionally a treat – he catches a crossbody and hits a backbreaker in a very pretty spot, and his amping up of the Boston crowd with his stupid taunt is very good. Siva Afai, the Lost Islander, may or may not have been an attempt to replace the Superfly, but doesn’t have much spark. He no-sells two turnbuckle shots so Barry just pokes him in the eye, which is SO good. Afi does shake his ass after he wins, which might be amazing. *3/4
3. George “The Animal” Steele vs. Tiger Chung Lee
This crowd is HYPED for this match and because of that it’s the best match so far. I like how when George turned face he made his big turnbuckle bumps sympathetic, as now he just immediately writhes in pain vs. selling wildly. Lee tries to use a kendo stick but George grabs it, hits him with it, breaks it in half, takes off his shirt, and raises his arms. He then eats the turnbuckle, rams Lee into it, and wins. A bunch bullshit but it had its charm. *3/4
4. Hillbilly Jim vs. Big John Studd
Heenan is with Bundy in Philly working Hogan, so Studd goes solo. The crowd pops for these big boys going at it but it’s basically a slightly more athletic Andre vs. Studd. They do all the classics – bodyslam tease, arm up at 3 on the bear hug – but it’s a bore. *1/2
5. WWF Intercontinental Title: Tito Santana [c] vs. Macho Man Randy Savage w/ Elizabeth
Look, these guys are neck-and-neck as far as my favorite WWF wrestlers but I haven’t yet seen them have a great match together. It’s a good match, very good even, but I’m always left feeling like something’s missing. My favorite part of this might be Jesse Ventura describing the feeling out process in-depth: “Each man is trying to see what he can get away with, what their strong points are, what their weak points are.”
Every Savage match is about the intensity. Tito too. These guys are experts at taking their time, then upping the intensity so people lose their shit. Towards the end they are both sweaty, exhausted, and selling their asses off. It is a beautiful professional wrestling performance.
Savage misses a kneedrop and the crowd is ELATED as Tito applies the figure-four. Savage gets on the apron and Tito brings him inside with a backdrop, only for Savage to clock him with a foreign object on the way down. NEW CHAMPION!! ***1/2
Savage’s post-IC Title win promo is here too and he is immediately calling out Hogan and saying he’s the #1 contender. Amazing. Him, Elizabeth, Monsoon and Ventura all standing in front of the interview backdrop is iconic.
6. The Hart Foundation vs. The Killer Bees
These boys were sent out to kill some time – there’s an art to it, but not like anyone needs to see it. Brunzell does the dropick. Hart has a fine dirtbag charisma. Everything leads into Hart taking his big corner bump, which gets a big pop, and Blair almost tripping on the ho tag, which doesn’t. Neidhart also knocks Hart off the apron by mistake at one point and it is such a beautiful out-of-nowhere bump. Otherwise, eh. **
7. Martial Arts Match: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs. Magnificent Muraco w/ Mr. Fuji
This has some neat moments, mostly from Ricky – blocking Muraco’s shoulderbreaker by slamming his legs on his head, and the tease and delivery of the skin-the-cat. Otherwise it’s a lot of stalling by Muraco and chinlocks. For a Martial Arts match this is basically all martial arts rest holds. Pretty boring. *3/4
8. Steel Cage Match: Bruno Sammartino vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper
Look – this is awesome. It’s a 10-minute Steel Cage Match with blood, brawling, and Chicago Bears posters.
Piper’s swagger as he enters is untouchable, entering with a Super Bowl Champ Chicago Bears shirt in Boston and hanging up Bears posters inside the cage before the match. Bruno enters the cage and goes right after to Piper, leading to some big bumps and a massive bladejob by Piper about 10 seconds in. One toss sends Piper into a Refrigerator Perry poster, which Bruno stuffs down by Piper’s throat. He then tears off Piper’s shirt and SPITS on him.
This is Piper covered in blood and convulsing, Bruno firing up and kicking ass, and two guys constantly trying to escape the cage.
One grab by Bruno leads to Piper’s pants going half-down. Piper eventually grabs Bruno as he crawls out once more, but Bruno grabs a wooden chair and hits Piper, then escapes to a thunderous ovation as Piper is left bloody and near pants-less among his torn-up posters and the chair that cost him the match. Incredible.
Always bothers me when Piper and Bruno both wear their blue trunks though. ***3/4
“Holy mackerel, talk about your excitement – we’ve got it right here in the World Wrestling Federation.”
Awesome main event and noteworthiness of Savage’s IC Title win aside, a pretty bad show. Extra crap undercard, too-long tag, lame gimmick match. C’mon guys – WrestleMania 2 is coming up. 2/10
