Nikolai Volkoff and Brian Christopher died.
I didn’t know either man personally, but both were a consistent presence in key eras on my journey as a wrestling fan: Nikolai on video tape rentals from Blockbuster as that jerk who sang the Russian National Anthem, Christopher as the joy-filled dancing white gangster at a time when that seemed like it was pretty cool.
Volkoff was one of those guys that exemplified all that was great about pro wrestling many years before it became all about star ratings and kickpads. I can’t point to a ton of classic matches (though there were many – vs. Hogan in a Flag Match on the 10/5/85 SNME, or the first WrestleMania tag titles match come to mind), but he was just such a CHARACTER.
Even his squash matches were cool because he was just this big burly guy with a shtick who was super powerful. The gorilla press slam he’d do using his opponent’s tights to lift them up was wild. And the Russian National Anthem singing gimmick was a classic.
He just seemed like a nice guy too, a man that aged gracefully and didn’t overstay his welcome. I loved the smiling picture they chose for him for the graphic at the start of the show too – that is wrestling, man. This big mean foreign stereotype character inside the ring was this friendly gentleman outside of it.
Brian Christopher was another wrestling treasure. Regretfully I have not seen a ton of his hyped work in Memphis, but he exemplified all that was great about pro wrestling just a few years before it became all about star ratings and kickpads.
As Grandmaster Sexay he was goofy, over-the-top, and did exactly what WWE says they do now: put smiles on people’s faces. I have such fond memories of going over to my friend’s house and just marking out over this dancing fool. The Royal Rumble 2000 dance break is an all-time great wrestling moment too.
Though his last appearance in the WWE will probably be looked back as sad, I thought it was brilliant. This former wrestler defined by a gimmick, who didn’t reach the heights of his dad – THE KING – comes back dancing like a buffoon in a world that had passed him by, a silent shocked crowd looking on.
But the whole angle was awesome. Memphis had come to the WWE and it got dirty and personal. And Brian Christopher was a key part of that angle – he came in, did the job, and though he wasn’t the focal point he played a major part in getting that feud over.
Maybe these guys view on life was different than mine. They clearly took different paths. But my view is: if I’m here on Earth, I’d like to make some people smile and maybe leave a bit of a legacy.
Those fellas did that. Good work and Godspeed.
RAW (7/30/18)
“When’s this gonna stop man? How long we gonna do this for?” – Roman Reigns
Brock vs. Roman overwhelming this show is not good, and WWE going all-in with Troll Brock Lesnar when the whole storyline has been a troll since WrestleMania isn’t helping. Paul Heyman meanwhile needs to update his goon shtick for 2018 – less Paulie Walnuts more Rudy Giuliani.
Look Finn I’m glad you got to do those apron bumps and went long on RAW but I didn’t really care about your match with Corbin. It might have gotten pretty good for the last few minutes and the crowd was into it but man I just didn’t care. Corbin taking the dumbest looking bump from the top to the floor was my favorite part.
Why do women in WWE have to hug to show they’re friends? Now we got Ronda freakin’ Rousey hugging away with Natalya – WTF are we doing? Natalya vs. Alicia Fox was honestly a match I probably would’ve dug if it was on Superstars in 2014 but in 2018 at the top of the hour on RAW I wasn’t into it.
Let me take this time to say that the Walk with Elias documentary was incredible and Michael Cole was a revelation. Elias continues to be a very underutilized promo guy, but sometimes I wonder how his skills actually fit into the WWE landscape sometimes.
Continuing Bob’s babyface push by having him interrupt the guy the crowd loves chanting along with was odd. Though I imagine end game with Bob is heel. Right? Maybe? I dunno.
The whole Braun/Jinder/Owens/Steph phone call/Money in the Bank bullshit felt like WWE was gaslighting us into not thinking about why Braun didn’t cash in the god damn briefcase.
The Mojo/Roode brawl backstage wasn’t terrible and the pop for Roode was shocking.
Maybe the awful intro of The Authors of Pain will be rectified in a few months? Probably not.
Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre was kind of a diet version of their RAW main event a couple weeks ago. These guys are impressive to watch wrestle but there wasn’t much meat to it. Drew’s catch of the tope into the barricade followed by a catapult on the ring steel was nice but wasn’t followed up on. The reverse alabama slam counter with a front cradle was wild.
Revival vs. Deleters of Worlds was was another chapter in this depressing RAW tag division, ending with CM Punk and Rusev Day chants. Dash just grabbing Bray’s dreadlocks to set up the Shatter Machine was nice.
The Sasha/Bayley vs. Riott Squad tag was typical death slot stuff but had a couple of real big bumps on the transitions – Sasha into the buckle to set up heat, Liv into the ropes to set up the hot tag. Liv’s SCREAM after the Bayley frankensteiner was awesome too. It’s the little things, man.
Brock choking Heyman to the mat was too little too late. WE WANT ROMAN chants to end the show – THE OLD MAN WILL NOT BE DENIED!!!!
God damn does this show suck.
SMACKDOWN (7/31/18)
This show had three matches, two of which were women’s matches, and one of which closed the show. The Evolution is alive on SmackDown.
Outside of the wrestling, tons of great promo work on this show – Becky Lynch, Carmella, Samoa Joe, The Miz and Daniel Bryan all talked some asses into seats.
The Becky Lynch/Carmella angle to kick off the show was hot, with a great babyface promo by Becky and a phenomenal fake babyface promo by Carmella before she turned it around. Then Charlotte returned.
THE WIZARD WITH WEIRD PECS, KOFI KINGSTON.
The Usos vs. The Bar was a typically good tight SmackDown TV tag – this division is an embarrassment of riches, especially considering how many Matt Hardy vs. B-Team matches I’ve had to watch over the last few months. I can’t say The Bar beating was too hot but as per usual them Uso boys brought it for the finish. There were like three crazy things in the span of 60 seconds: the Cesaro springboard into the superkick, the Superfly splash near fall, and the uppercut block of the splash.
Samoa Joe cut himself another banger promo and this time it is getting PERSONAL. I am loving that Joe’s subtle gimmick is he isn’t above bringing family into things – he talked shit to Renee Young while he feuded with Ambrose, brought up Brie and Birdie when he was wrestling Bryan, and now he’s talking about AJ’s wife and kids.
Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy, and Shinsuke Nakamura in 2018 are all great characters and suspect wrestlers. So them doing an angle where they didn’t really wrestle was hot.
Lana vs. Zelina Vega was a real basic but acceptable angle match. If a Zelina push will get Almas more screen time then I am in.
The Miz cut himself another banger promo and this time it is getting PERSONAL. Now we’re talking about BABIES too. This was hot – called back to the epic Talking Smack promo, had Miz calling into question Bryan’s career and just being a general piece of shit. I am into this.
Carmella just casually main eventing SmackDown Live is awesome. The match with Charlotte was an OK match where none of the big spots (moonsault block, pescado, barricade moonsault, and Natural Selection) hit at all. Charlotte needs to work more Andre the Giant and less Leaping Lanny Poffo.
Charlotte was just here to support her best friend Becky and now she’s going to SummerSlam – hmm. Hm.
205 LIVE (7/31/18)
There are few things I enjoy less than Tony Nese “bringing a crowd down” while on offense. There were some incredibly impressive feats of human athleticism and strength here as he wrestled Kalisto and it had all the excitement of a dial-up Internet connection.
Lots of dynamics in the Cruiserweight Title contract signing. Do you go with alt-right closet creep Drew Gulak battling a POC who is having his old tweets dug up to slander him? Do you go with the absurdity of a workhorse criticizing the absent champion being presented as a heel? Lots of dynamics, let me tell you.
Lio Rush is a great god damn promo, man. Fun rapid-fire squash by this guy.
Cedric Alexander vs. Brian Kendrick was – well. I mean. I enjoy watching Kendrick working a match that got some time and focus. The wrestling was quality. It was just on fuckin’ 205 Live.
NXT (8/1/18)
Solid show – NXT is in a groove and I like it. The Shayna Baszler match ruled too.
Heavy Machinery vs. the Mighty was eh. Tucker Knight did a double backbreaker and a somersault dive off the apron, so that’s nice. Imagine being in Full Sail ready to endure a second Mighty beatdown and THE STREET PROFITS SHOW UP IN THE CROWD. I’d throw my chair in the air with excitement.
Awesome straightforward squash for Moustache Mountain – those two were working like men possessed.
Look, I am just going to say it: Kona Reeves gets bigger heat than Tommaso Ciampa. Maybe not as loud, but way more passionate, and way more real. Ciampa is over, but some of the boos feel play-along. Kona Reeves? These people hate this man. The match itself with EC3 was not good. It felt very NXT Redemption. Reeves is Jacob Novak and EC3 is… well.
Shayna Baszler vs. Candice LeRae – AWESOME. Baszler matches are unlike anything else in WWE and really most of wrestling – not spectacular, but fuck spectacular when you’re building DRAMA and putting a gal over as MEAN. Candice’s big bumps and the nasty arm work brought the sympathy. Loved the sleeper catch off the top and Candice actually getting to the ropes, then the awesome finish with Candice going for the kill after the Unprettier, only to miss a Lionsault and get caught with a PK and sleepr.
KILLER KAIRI SANE WAS AMAZING! I am ALL about this Shayna/Kairi match, really hope this delivers.
Ciampa’s show-closing promo was excellent. The guy has such a command and feels completely comfortable. I don’t know if it works outside of a Gargano feud or on the main roster, but god damn if he isn’t getting the experience to do just that.
Whiny Gargano is an interesting route to take. I feel like we might be headed towards the Peter Principle of this feud. Can they really pay it off in a satisfying way?
MAIN EVENT (8/1/18)
Alright Zack Ryder vs. Mike Kanellis was totally a match where they went up to D-Von Dudley and said, “Come on, man – let us do some stuff.” These two crazy boys pulled off a powerbomb counter of a missile dropkick, while Ryder did a missile dropkick off the apron. They managed a nice near fall off a Kanellis superkick and Ryder even did a Frankensteiner. This was just about a Main Event Match Worth Watching.
Tyler Breeze vs. Curt Hawkins had light LET’S GO HAWKINS / HAWKINS SUCKS chants, which is fun. The match? It was a Main Event match.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Shayna Baszler vs. Candice LeRae
WWE TV MVP of the Week: 6-way tie this week – Pretty much anybody who cut a promo on SmackDown plus Shayna Baszler
YAWN. SmackDown had some good stuff and NXT is good again but we just keep on moving towards a show where the only thing that seems to be getting pushed is Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar Part Enough Already.
RAW: 2/10
SmackDown: 6/10
205 Live: 4/10
NXT: 7/10
