Nobody has a connection to The Wrestling Fan like Daniel Bryan.
Nobody makes this weird wrestling thing seem semi-normal and genuinely compelling like Daniel Bryan.
And there is nobody in wrestling who I would be genuinely excited to see match up with almost anybody, just to see what choices he would make when in the ring with them.
So the news this week that after two years of being retired from in-ring competition, which came after a year of on-again off-again injury purgatory, that Daniel Bryan has been medically cleared to return to the ring, is something that just puts me over the moon.
Let me emphasize:
THE AMERICAN DRAGON DANIEL BRYAN HAS BEEN MEDICALLY CLEARED TO WRESTLE AGAIN.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
RAW (3/19/18)
This was a fun Road to WrestleMania RAW. The characters in WWE these days are clicking big time, while the writing is half awesome and half leaving something to be desired.
Roman/Brock, Cena/Taker, IC Title, The Bar vs. Braun – money.
Alexa/Nia, Sasha/Bayley/Women’s Battle Royal, Ultimate Deletion – eh.
The in-ring wasn’t much, as during Mania season the wrestling becomes background noise to the angles and promos. But we did get some money angles and money promos and it was all a good time.
I want to get down on a knee and propose marriage to this week’s Roman vs. Brock angle. This was the MANIA HARD SELL, baby. First Roman got arrested by the least-convincing U.S. Marshalls ever, which was a bit much, but Brock entering and Roman looking at his handcuffs was incredible. The endless Brock beatdown as Heyman held up the Universal Title was brutal special stuff. Chairshots! Germans! An F5!!! All in cuffs. In CUFFS! SO good.
The conclusion of Roman going over might seem obvious but this is just the best possible story to have him go full babyface heading into Mania against THE BEAST. Compelling, awesome stuff.
The Alexa vs. Nia angle this week was kind of crap though. Not sure going straight from the big Alexa/Nia conflict last week to Alexa acting cocky and not giving a shit was the right call. Alexa is an awesome performer but the promo material came off so weak.
The Alexa vs. Asuka match was another thing where Alexa did fine but the decisions to present her were weird. Why is Alexa Bliss dominating ASUKA? Why is she fighting through a god damn ankle lock? I get wanting to give her cred, but nobody wants to see this, maaaan. The Code Red off the top was sweet though.
Nia going after Alexa and Mickie was alright in theory, but between last week and this week I really think they could’ve given her face turn a bigger moment.
BRAAAUUUUNNNN vs. Cesaro was just fun as hell to watch, loved Cesaro getting some time vs. big Braun and just jumping all over the place trying to keep up with him before he got caught with a powerslam.
The Revival vs. Titus Worldwide was just a meaningless TV tag complete with a double jobber entrance. These folks got in, didn’t get over, and got out.
Sasha/Bayley vs. Mandy/Sonya was a tag match. The Mandy knee remains awesome. Sasha and Bayley doing sub-Hallmark Movie acting not so much.
John Cena injected some serious juice into the probable Undertaker match. Calling out Taker, demanding an answer, calling him a coward — $$$$$$! Shouting John Cena can be a bit much, but Shouting John Cena also puts asses in the seats. Great promo.
Also – John Cena shouting “Let’s go to work!” and running to the ring is life.
Another great Miz promo this week, big surprise. The Miz and The Usos are two acts that just lap everybody on promos – every week they cut what would be 90% of the WWE roster’s best promo ever. Very excited for The Miz vs. Tyler Black vs. Prince Nevitt.
The Miz & Miztourage vs. Balor & The Club was an OK enough 6-man. Unspectacular heel beatdown, unspectacular hot tag, Finn dive, Finn rollup. The crowd’s anticipation of the Seth save and the delivery of the Seth save post-match was sweet.
I’m not sure if the Ronda training video was good or not. The piano music made me LOL. And she said bitch!
Ultimate Deletion sucked.
Sorry.
Like, there were fun bits. Hologram Matt. Bray Wyatt apparently being unfamiliar with the concept of fireworks (“What the hell is that?”). The Benny Hill spots in the Land of Obsolete Men. The “Whole World in His Hands” bit with Señor Benjamin and Jeff Hardy. And mad respect to Matt Hardy for pulling all this off too.
But it just lacked the absurdity of the original Broken Matt stuff and felt like a straight crappy match than anything. I just didn’t find it funny or campy or interesting or anything. If there’s more to come from the Woken World, and I’m sure there is, I’m not sure this was even a good teaser.
As a campy brawl, I thought the Symphony of Destruction lapped it.
Ultimately if this kills off or gives a new hook to the Bray Wyatt charachter, I’m into it. As a whole though, I did not buy into this WOKEN BRILLIANCE.
SMACKDOWN (3/20/18)
Daniel Bryan is back, baby.
This brand might stink but when Daniel Bryan is back, that stank goes away.
And this was actually a good show, too. It hit all the notes for WrestleMania and was paced well. Incredible.
That opening Bryan promo, man. Goosebumps. GOOSEBUMPS. Him pivoting from the usual Owens and Zayn and Shane SmackDown opening promo BS to talking about his RETURN TO THE RING was THE BEST: “So… with that said, I’m gonna talk about something else.” This was such a money promo – I mean the emotion is real, but I love how between Talking Smack and his GM work, Daniel Bryan has become a top-tier promo in pro wrestling. “If you fight for your dreams, your dreams will fight for you.”
Welcome back. And THANK YOU BRIE!
Absolutely cannot wait to see this journey play out.
Nakamura vs. Rusev was a fun TV match version of the great PPV match they had at Fastlane. Nak fending off Rusev Day by himself post-match was a nice twist on the similar angle last week.
Baron Corbin vs. Tye Dillinger was a 90-second 50/50 match with a blown finish. Nobody had to be happy about that one. Would’ve been cool if they pulled it off.
Charlotte Flair and Natalya always bring the PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING when paired off. Plenty of good hold-trading before commercial and a lot of fun stuff after it. Nattie doing the step-over move and Charlotte kipping up with clothesline was a cool spot. As was the spinning sit-out powerbomb. Nattie was bumping like a nut – suplex in the ropes, boot in the corner, spear on the floor. Did a good job building up the fight feel leading to the MITB tease and legitimately shocking Nattie win too.
Oh, another great Usos promo? Ahhh yessir.
Jimmy Uso vs. Harper was – big surprise – a fun sprint. Harper has an aura about him and kicking out of a couple Uso superkick will help that too. He just brought it to Jimmy, who moves and bumps like he’s one half of the best tag team in the world. Nasty discus lariat to finish.
The Jinder/Roode/Orton U.S. Title stuff is SO cookie-cutter. No hook, no effort, no care.
Becky Lynch & Naomi vs. Riott Squad was a real quick kind of nothing match. Regardless, Naomi and Liv did a better kick counter sequence than Nakamura and Rusev, and the Disarmer setup for the finish was very cool.
The saga of Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn stinking up SmackDown FINALLY got some juice with the closing segment, and all it took was the return of a beloved superstar from his 2-year retirement and a powerbomb to said superstar on the apron. Watching Daniel Bryan taking bumps, throwing corner dropkicks, and doing the Yes Kicks felt like taking a piss that was held in for 2 years. The CROWD. The HEAT. The fact that they ACTUALLY DID THE APRON POWERBOMB. So awesome. So cool. YEEESSSSS!!!!!!
MIXED MATCH CHALLENGE (3/20/18)
Braun Strowman & Alexa Bliss vs. The Miz & Asuka was basically a Mixed Match Challenge Dream Match, real fun stuff between my two favorite teams. It wasn’t some mat classic but there was a ton of good stuff here: Braun working as an uber babyface milking crowd chants, Braun and Alexa teasing sexy time, well done tag-out shtick, and Braun wrecking Miz while Asuka flipped out about her streak. Asuka is like some silent film actor in getting over her exasperation over the streak, it’s amazing stuff. Sweet Asuka/Bliss finish too, felt like we got what would’ve been their Mania spots here.
205 LIVE (3/20/18)
A one-match show but it was one hell of a match.
Hideo Itami vs. Lince Dorado was a decent little match. Dorado moves like a freak. Itami meanwhile seems bored, though he did throw a slap at one point that reminded me of the days when KENTA was my fav. Wish I’d be stoked for a potential Bryan vs. Itami match, but here we are. The awkwardness of that DQ finish made me worried about 205 Live post-tournament.
Can we get a Cesaro/Sheamus dynamic going with Tozawa/Itami already, with one guy face and one guy heel? It’s better than the apathy and confusion this team brings currently. C’mon, Drake!
TJP vs. Kenneth Johnson, of CWC fame in a wonderful shitty-ass Kill Bill singlet, was a neat little squash.
Loved Mustafa Ali vs. Drew Gulak. Just edged out Cedric/Roddy and I loved that too. I liked this more because it had all the great wrestling these guys are capable of with the added of so much intensity, like they were legitimately in a fight. Gulak is an amazing professional wrestler and Ali is a babyface superstar in the making.
Just gorgeous, meszmerizing pro wrestling to start – hold-trading, rope-running, an elbow to the fucking face. They hit second gear with Gulak roughly stomping Ali, Ali responding with hard slaps to the face and straight punches to the head. Gulak then just clotheslined Ali’s head off, his eyes wide like this was the most important match of his life and something on top of his killer instinct had awoken in him to win it. They hit third gear with Ali’s awesome somersault plancha followed by aggressive punches to the head, leading the crowd to erupt in A-LI chants… only for Gulak to knock Ali’s ass to the floor, his head colliding with the apron on the way down. And somehow they got to a fourth gear with Ali’s insane ass taking a back body drop off commentary to the FLOOR. I liked Ali refusing to take the countout victory right before this, only for Gulak to chuck Ali all around the floor and going for a countout himself. Amazing countout tease by Ali too; I mean the countout tease is overdone in wrestling but this one almost got me. The Dragon sleeper deadlift countered with a tornado DDT was BEAUTIFUL, and led to the 0-5-4 for the emotional 3. SOOOOOOOOOOOO good. And Ali HUGGED HIS MOTHER after the match. AMAZING!
NXT (3/21/18)
This was a really good show that moved stuff forward, had a real quality tag team match, and a just lot of cool moments: Ciampa staring down a grandmother. Gargano revealing himself to be in the crowd and going after Ciampa. Oney Lorcan killing Roderick Strong. Pete Dunne and Danny Burch killing each other. Shayna Baszler putting her feet up on commentary. Andrade Almas wrecking Raul Mendoza. And Kassius Ohno booting the absolute brown shit out of Adam Cole.
Tommaso Ciampa opening the show reminding everybody that Johnny Gargano is GONE, staring down a little girl and an old woman, was special stuff. The reveal of Johnny in the crowd behind the sign was downright transcendent. This has been such an awesome story and has a real old school feel to it, what with a clear heel and clear babyface and signs getting torn up and grandmothers getting stared down, even if everybody is kinda in on it.
Roderick Strong/Pete Dunne vs. Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch in the Dusty Classic was tremendous. All of these guys are awesome and real motherfuckin’ pro wrestlers. The WRESTLING. The WRESTLING!!! You’ve got sweet hold-trading, Dunne slapping Burch and roughly pushing his ass into the corner, the sweet chop to the back and chest double team by Roddy and Dunne. I missed Oney too. Him bringing the rapid-fire insanity to Roddy was so awesome. Everybody was just throwing bombs towards the end and the people flipped out.
RICOCHET!!
Hey! Aliyah’s getting better, huh? Her match with Ember Moon was a solid lil’ squash. Shayna Baszler joining commentary and putting her feet up on the table like she already owns the place was awesome too.
Did Andrade Almas just call Black a piece of shit on the WWE Network? Solid promo on Black – I like the idea of things getting so intense now that Vega doesn’t need to speak for him. The sudden sneak attack on Raul Mendoza was awesome too. Who was Mendoza gonna wrestle!?
Regal promising an announcement that will change the landscape of NXT forever for next week – hope he reveals where the hell The Iconic Duo has been.
Adam Cole vs. Kassius Ohno was a match that worked for the crowd it was in front of, but I wasn’t into it because I just can’t buy skinny boring Adam Cole trading shots and doing Indy Dream Match work with big Kassius. The spot with Cole trying a leapfrog and Ohno just booting him was SO good. Otherwise, yeah they got it to a good crescendo, but EHHHHH.
MAIN EVENT (3/21/18)
There was a Lucha House Party vs. TJP/Daivari/Nese match on here that could’ve been cool, but only 90 seconds were shown – the opening with Kalisto and TJP, then everybody diving around to setup the finish. I can’t say I’m bummed about missing a Daivari and Nese beatdown, but this didn’t even feel like a real match. Regardless, Kalisto got the BIGGEST pop pretending he was riding TJP and smacking his ass.
Curt Hawkins vs. Heath Slater was the other match. You know how it went.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Easily, unquestionably, Mustafa Ali vs. Drew Gulak
WWE TV MVP of the Week: DAN-IEL BRY-AN!
WrestleMania season is in full swing, darling. Also – DANIEL BRYAN IS BACK. Awesome week of WWE television.
RAW: 7/10
SmackDown: 8/10
205 Live: 7/10
NXT: 8/10
