1. Gauntlet Match – NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Title: Takashi Iizuka, Zack Sabre Jr. & Taichi vs. Michael Elgin & War Machine vs. Tomohiro Ishii, Toru Yano & Beretta vs. Togi Makabe, Ryusuke Taguchi & Juice Robinson vs. Tama Tonga, Tonga Roa & Bad Luck Fale [c]
Only highlights of the first couple pairings here on AXS, which is really for the best. These matches, as a rule, tend to not be very good. Most of the New Japan multi-man matches (tags, 6-mans, whatever) usually end up total clusterfucks that don’t have enough cool moments to make up for the fact that they are clusterfucks. But here we are. This isn’t great or anything but it might just be the best Tokyo Dome Dome Gauntlet Match of all-time. The first pairing was certainly no good and went way too long, though Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Ray Rowe was kind of neat at points and I liked ZSJ’s tapout of Rowe and muscle pose right after.
Then Yano got a pin. Then Makabe kinda played a Japanese Randy Orton, just running through his stuff and it being super over. Then Taguchi did his thing too and it ruled. Ass spots = OVER. Then Taguchi teased a KINSHASA but lost. Then Trent? took an insane bump on the apron. And THEN. THEN THEN THEN. TOMOHIRO ISHII VS. BAD LUCK FALE. This thing RULED. Ishii’s suplex practically blew the roof off the Tokyo Dome!! And THEN Tonga caught Trent?’s moonsault with an RKO, which eventually somehow led to Trent?’s triumph. This was fun. The crowd was popping and so was I. ***1/4
2. IWGP Tag Team Title: K.E.S. (Davey Boy Smith Jr. & Lance Archer) [c] vs. EVIL & SANADA
These fellas were in a tough spot after a hot last match but had a match that was pretty much perfect for after a hot last match. It’s real simple stuff, as EVIL and SANADA got beat up, kept getting little comebacks but would keep getting cut off, and then finally – TRIUMPH. And they kept it interesting with all kinds of stuff – EVIL almost being pinned 30 seconds in, EVIL selling, young boys getting beat up, Davey Boy’s tan, and of course LANCE ARCHER. Lance Archer has found his professional wrestling voice and it is AWESOME – beating a crazy man on his entrance and spitting water all over the place, beating up young boys, being aggressive as all hell, hitting hard, showing crazy intensity. I am in love. Give me Okada vs. Archer. Also highly enjoyed the EYES of young boy Kawato on the floor after taking his beating – that boy is gonna be something one day. The hot tag could’ve been a little hotter, otherwise great stuff. ***1/2
2. Hair vs. Hair & No Seconds Death Match – NEVER Openweight Title: Minoru Suzuki [c] vs. Hirooki Goto
First of all, Hair vs. Hair and No Seconds Death Match is an awesome match name. Second of all, WHAT WAS THIS FUCKING AMAZING MATCH. Finally, somebody in New Japan decided to stop fucking around with limbwork and building to near falls that may or may not work and instead just tell a STORY. Monster Heel – Babyface Who Tends to Fail – FIGHT. Minoru Suzuki endlessly kicking Hirooki Goto’s ass is MUCH better than limb work. And Minoru kicked some ASS – just SLAMMING a chair on Goto, slapping him around, busting his lip, throwing cocky kicks, applying sleepers that made Goto’s eyes roll in the back of his head… just a BEATDOWN. Goto has never been my favorite but this was the perfect use of a guy and he over-delivered on his end – amazing selling for a guy in this spot, where he got his ass kicked but never truly looked like a WUSS. He’d fire up and not stay down but he just couldn’t get anything going. So many great moments, too: Goto firing up, only for Suzuki to laugh in his face and elbow him down. Goto finding hope by somehow catching a Penalty Kick only for Suzuki to viciously slap him down. Suzuki’s insane high kick/dropkick and LAUGH. And of course that insane series of Suzuki slaps and body shots that just absolutely transfixed me and made me believe again that professional wrestling can be the greatest form of anything anywhere. And the FINISH: the Gotch piledriver setup > Goto’s counter and desperate lariat > Suzuki taking a GOD DAMN SUPER USHIGIROSHI > Suzuki taking elbows but RISING FROM THE DEAD AND LAUGHING > a Goto headbutt finally taking Suzuki down, leading to the GTR. This match not only added an awesome variety to the show, it was the match I dug the most and got the most out of – impactful comebacks, great cut-offs, everything just had me buy in. It was so unlike any of the usual epic NJ stuff, while at the same time delivering on an intense, stiff, compelling wrestling match. Suzuki is a god damn legend and Goto played his part perfectly. I can’t think of any issues with this match – it did everything wrestling is supposed to do and managed to be memorable and crazy and all that good stuff. It just made my wrestling fan insides glow. *****
