This was a great wrestling show awash in the stink of WWE’s annoying approach to storytelling. The in-ring all delivered, but while the build to RAW vs. SmackDown was fun, it pretty quickly became apparent that there would be no follow-up after most of these matches, so the stakes didn’t seem so high. Then, Triple H doing Triple H things to close the show was not ideal.
The two-hour (TWO HOUR) Kickoff Show was not as terrible as normal – fun promos and three solid matches.
Shawn Michaels sounds like Jon Stewart with a few concussions. Can’t believe they got two hours out of him. Listening to that is still much better than David Otunga.
Alexa Bliss is a great promo and her throwing shade at Pete Rosenberg was magic. Charlotte meanwhile cut a fine face promo but the interaction with Bliss was super awkward. Seemed like a time delay through them off… Bliss was absolutely crushing it, and then seemed hesitant once the interaction with Charlotte began.
The Miz Q&A = masterful. Always appreciate a guy in stuffy WWE who has earned everyone’s trust to go off-script. Kudos to Charly for trying to roll with him too.
0. Matt Hardy vs. Elias
This was Elias working the arm and Matt selling the shit out of it, including screaming when Elias first targeted it. A fine cold match. **
0. WWE Cruiserweight Title: Enzo Amore [c] vs. Kalisto
Kalisto getting stuck on the ropes during his entrance and bobbing up and down was an amazing wrestling fuck-up. Way better than the actual match. I was impressed by them pulling off the slingshot Code Red. Otherwise, lots of Enzo on offense building to a comeback nobody cared about. Yeesh. **
0. Breezango vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn
I’m a real big fan of the extra theatrics by Sami Zayn on his entrance. Also loved Fandango just creeping his way through his promo – can you believe this guy? What a run Johnny Curtis has had. Anyways, this was a basic as all hell TV tag match but the characters are fun enough that it mostly worked. **1/2
1. The Shield (Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose) vs. The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods)
This ruled. A Dream Match that completely delivered, and it was really the only match on this card that felt like anyone was truly fighting for BRAND SUPREMACY~! This was six guys at the top of their game keeping things fun with awesome sequences and interactions, and then they eventually transitioned into a wild-ass brawl that more intense and chaotic than WarGames the previous night. Really felt like both teams needed this win, and that’s a rare feeling in WWE.
All the early pairings were ideal… Dean and Kofi bringing the chain wrestling, Woods and Seth bringing the rope-running, and Roman and Big E bringing the HOSS BATTLE. So many great moments too… E did his insane tope, Reigns just crushed Woods with a jumping lariat, Rollins just melted Woods’ face with a superkick. Match really got awesome the last 5 minutes or so, as they kept moving to what you’d think the finish would be, but guys kept making saves, so each team tried to put 2 of their 3 opponents out for good on the outside. Woods vs. Reigns was SO good too, as was the Rainmaker Knee/Dirty Deeds combo near fall. Loved the tease of the Triple Powerbomb finish, only for E to make the save and just go nuts on everybody in a last valiant effort to get the win. The top rope triple powerbomb was the cherry on top. ****1/4
LET’S TALK ABOUT ALICIA FOX’S HAT.
2. Elimination Match: Team RAW (Alicia Fox, Sasha Banks, Bayley, Asuka & Nia Jax) vs. Team SmackDown (Becky Lynch, Naomi, Natalya, Carmella & Tamina)
This first half of this match was built around Tamina, so that’s not GOOD. As my good brother Josh commented, “This is fun – all of our favorites are getting eliminated.” Becky and Bayley being eliminated early wasn’t the wrong choice if you’re building to Asuka getting a run, but them looking like such dorks was a real buzzkill. Asuka vs. Natalya/Carmella/Tamina was an OK enough place to get to, but it wasn’t the greatest journey getting there. As a match – not great. As a device to make Asuka look strong – alright. I’m into it. **1/2
3. Intercontinental Champion vs. U.S. Champion: The Miz w/ The Miztourage vs. Baron Corbin
They threw a lot of action in here and it still felt pretty forgettable. But, got to give it up – they were in a tough spot and they kept things moving, got over well enough, and the action was always solid. For a long Corbin match that’s kind of amazing. Maryse and Miztourage at ringside was a fun dynamic too. Best part was Corbin’s post-match promo… had the usual Corbin dickishness, but he tacked a southern drawl on too and it ruled. **3/4
4. RAW Tag Team Champions vs. SmackDown Tag Team Champions: Cesaro & Sheamus vs. The Usos
The Big Match Usos never fail to deliver, never fail to bring their matches to an amazing peak. Awesome tag team wrestling. Both these teams are firing on all cylinders right now. Cesaro & Sheamus brought the offense, from tight-ass headlocks to insane euro uppercuts, while The Usos brought crazy bumps and selling. There’s something about that long stringy black hair that The Usos and Roman Reigns have covering their faces that make their matches extra dramatic. This had a few insane near falls, an awesome superkick sequence, and a HOT TAG PLANCHA. Amazing. ****
5. RAW Women’s Champion vs. SmackDown Women’s Champion: Alexa Bliss vs. Charlotte Flair
Charlotte and Alexa working Strong Style, baby. There is just something about Alexa working an abdominal stretch and clawing at the ribs… I don’t care that she’s five feet tall, she always brings the pain. It seemed at points like they couldn’t get some cool stuff they had planned to happen, but then they also just kind of beat the shit out of each other and it worked. Beating the shit out of each other has been a fine addition to women’s matches in 2017. ***1/4
6. Universal Champion vs. WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman vs. AJ Styles
Oh this is just the best match, exactly what it should have been. Brock is an absolute force of a presence and professional wrestler, and here he does a whole lot of Brock stuff – slams, suplexes, and sweat. The key ingredient, of course, is AJ Styles, who after a super lackluster year is making a late-stage run at best in the world all over again. Brock didn’t seem all there at points, and he did that thing where he turns purple, but damnit if AJ didn’t just fly and bump all over the place to make it awesome. The first half with Brock just squashing AJ and AJ bumping like an absolute insane person was SO good. They did a lot of great cut-offs that were legitimately demoralizing… AJ not avoiding that high knee in the corner was SUCH a buzzkill. Once AJ started fighting back though, it alllll paid off. The Calf Crusher sell and Brock’s HULK SMASH break was SO epic. As was the Phenomenal Forearm near fall. Also liked AJ constantly avoiding the F5 until he finally fell to it. So good – so, so good. ****1/4
7. Elimination Match: Team RAW (Triple H, Kurt Angle, Braun Strowman, Finn Balor & Samoa Joe) vs. Team SmackDown (Shane McMahon, John Cena, Randy Orton, Shinsuke Nakamura & Bobby Roode)
This was a ton of really fun interactions leading to a convoluted shit Triple H finish. So I don’t know what to think. They delivered on the promise of interesting pairings: Nakamura and Finn Balor making folks mark out over New Japan nostalgia, the absurdity of Nakamura vs. Triple H, Triple H vs. his son Bobby Roode. They gave Nak a lot of great stuff to do before Braun him out… the King of Strong Style was really busting ass in there. The use of Braun Strowman here was great too – he took out Nakamura and Roode, and then didn’t back down from the pairing of Randy Orton and John freaking Cena. Loved Joe almost killing Shane with a top rope superplex, Joe and Cena tearing it up, Shane taking the Balor dropkick on the outside. And Angle pinned Cena!! And Orton did a sweet RKO on Balor!!!!
And then…
Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn ran out, and looked like total chumps getting run off by Stone Cold Shane McMahon. Shane ended up all alone, and leaving Shane alone didn’t give them room for many interesting options – and they STILL somehow ended up with an even more uninteresting option than all the rest. I know The Game is The Game, and I appreciate him more than most, but, I mean – let’s get this straight:
Triple H took the place of a young up-and-comer to get on Team RAW. He then turned on Team RAW, I guess to make Kurt Angle look like an ass. He then teased teaming up with Shane McMahon, then gave Shane the Pedigree. Then he tried to team up with a guy who has been on one of the best booked rises to the top of the card ever… and then tried to attack said guy, only to end up laid out at the end of the show. I mean – Braun Strowman looked good, I guess, and that’s what you want, but, I mean – FUCK.
Kevin and Sami may not be home run main eventers, but they looked like total chumps. Then SmackDown looks like absolute shit as their top champ loses to RAW’s top champs, and then their GM tried to align with TRIPLE H only to get laid out, because why wouldn’t that happen? And that young up-and-comer Triple H replaced didn’t even show up. And this is all basically to set up Kurt Angle vs. Triple H, which already had a built-in story. PLUS, Triple H has now shoehorned himself into a feud with the ONE GUY who DOES NOT NEED TO BE INVOLVED WITH TRIPLE H.
And that’s just my rage over this whole thing the day after. As I watched it, I just felt confused. And confusion is what ya want out of your dumb wrestling, eh? The match was a really fun spectacle but ended just real dumb – real, real dumb. ***1/2
The follow-up is always key in these, but WWE traditionally stinks with follow-up. I’m sure the payoff is Braun pinning Triple H, but as always seems to happen, WWE gets to where they need to in the stupidest possible way. So… damn.
A great show on paper that totally delivered. For four freaking hours of pro wrestling, it was kind of incredible. Every match on the main show was at the very least good, and a few of them were straight-up epic. Triple H is gonna Triple H, but the sour taste of the last 10 minutes or so still didn’t overwhelm what was a heck of a night at the matches. 9/10
