What does it take to succeed in World Wrestling Entertainment?
How many talents find themselves on the ash heap of history because they didn’t network properly? Say the right thing at the right moment? Call the right move at the right time with the right guy?
How many “sure things” have made it to Monday Night RAW only to flame out?
This hyper-fast-paced-charged-up-insanely-masculine environment created by Vince McMahon takes those who might be major stars and makes them doubt themselves, never reaching their full potential. Unless they are dubbed “the one” by The Man, they are scrutinized from top to bottom in their ascent to either superstardom, “good hand”, or “who?” And even many once dubbed “the one” now find themselves in those latter two categories.
Is this good? Is this bad?
At the very least, you also know that, for better or worse, those who make it through this environment are the cream of the crop. The wrestling might be fake, but what is required for wrestling success is more real than anything else.
Or is it?
RAW (10/2/17)
I say this with only a tinge of hyperbole — this was a perfect pro wrestling show.
It was just a rollercoaster of sports entertainment goodness… had the inherent RAW weak spots that get pointed out ad nauseam, but it pulled off a major show long reunion storyline perfectly, everything that needed to hit HIT, there were two great matches, and all the undercard stuff clicked. Plus, goofy-ass pink ropes! And Tom Phillips! And “Shut up, Tom!”
Just think about this show in the context of sitting down and writing a wrestling script, or any script — the fun and games are all over, but the big story you’re pushing is escalated perfectly until the big reveal — a subtle tease of The Shield Reunion with the Braun/Sheamus/Cesaro beatdown of Seth and Dean at the start of the show, a less subtle tease of The Shield Reunion with Roman commenting on the beatdown and essentially brushing it off, a big tease of The Shield Reunion with the Miz/Sheamus/Cesaro beatdown and Triple Powerbomb, and finally the full Shield Reunion with them entering the locker room and having their own Avengers Assemble moment.
Ya can’t pull something like this off every week, but it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.
All the undercard stuff was like ** at worse too, with defined colorful characters who kind of sort of have motivations, and when you get to that point – where even the stuff in a long 3-hour show that doesn’t technically matter kind of matters – you’re really doing all the wrestling fan can ask for.
Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman to open was real good stuff. Seth not being a Weekly Main Eventer has quietly gotten him over – seemed like a big huge star was opening up Monday Night RAW, and all of the Braun beatdowns had pretty frequent “ROLLINS” chants. They worked this to each guys’ strengths – Seth seemed all frantic, moving fast and either countering something or getting knocked down. Braun meanwhile dished out a Big Man Beatdown. The elbow counter of Seth’s tope was crazy, Seth is a wildman.
I like watching Braun in these types of matches too… he rarely goes down, or if he does, he immediately gets up to a knee. You know that’s The Big Show coaching. Would love to be a fly on the wall during those Braun and Big Show conversations. Or, can you imagine Mean Mark Undertaker dishing wisdom to young Braun? Oh my GOD.
And then, SUBTLE SHIELD TEASE: Braun beats down Dean and Seth, then Cesaro and Sheamus pick up the pieces and do the same.
This was an episode of WWE TV in which we learned that both Mickie James and Alexa Bliss have their own locker rooms. Decent enough little bit with Mickie backstage… I am all for roaming backstage segments with pop-ins from random characters – this one was kind of awkward, but I liked it.
The thing about the “Mickie is old LOL” angle is – she has to get revenge. Will she?
“Use your hands but fight the man use your hands but fight the man.” In all the apathy you forget that Bray Wyatt is a fucking fantastic actor.
“Don’t start with me, Denver” – LOVE all that is Elias. Elias vs. Titus was such fun undercard bullshit. Over characters – a heel, a babyface. A heel reacting to a face trying to pull him back into the ring. Titus having a little gut is all I ever wanted from Titus too. And it was another win for the emerging Elias. Who are you to ever doubt Vince McMahon?
Mickie James vs. Nia Jax was mostly a Nia Jax beatdown. It was a fine Nia Jax beatdown. Nia is figuring herself out more and more every week and it’s interesting to see. Dug Mickie’s fired up comeback too. And there was a BEARHUG at the top of the hour, which is kind of amazing. Can’t believe that scoundrel referee rang the bell to start the match as Mickie’s back was turned to Alexa though – however, as he admonished to me on Twitter when I complained about it, he DID give her ample warning.
Enzo being speechless for once in that backstage interview on the cruiserweights’ attack – my god. What a great use of time to move the character forward.
American Alpha splitting up and teaming with Shelton Benjamin & Matt Hardy respectively was not what I was ever expecting, to be honest. Gallows/Anderson vs. Jordan/Hardy was a fine way of giving all these guys a relevant match though. It was solid crowd-pleasing tag shit, oh yes. The Karl Anderson corner ball bump – oh yes.
And then, LESS SUBTLE SHIELD TEASE: Roman’s backstage interview, with “I ain’t worried about Dean and Seth. They’re big boys.”
And then, EVEN LESS SUBTLE SHIELD TEASE: Miz and The Miztourage enter through the crowd!!!
Reigns vs. Miz was great. This will legit go down as one of my favorite WWE pairings… they just the weirdest good chemistry, as both guys are OVER and Reigns’ selling always has Miz coming across as a credible bad guy. Reigns enters with a ready-to-fight death stare like he’s the god damn Undertaker, beats Miztourage’s ass like he’s Stone Cold Steve Austin. Seriously – how does Reigns just suddenly become the COOLEST when he sniffs around The Shield? The shot of Roman slowly walking towards Miz after he had disposed of Miztourage and Miz’ face was INCREDIBLE.
Anyways, the match. Like I said – great. Miz rolling out like a douche, throwing Reigns over the barricade to get a countout… shortcuts, baby. Miz turds it up, Reigns sells. The crowd’s hot, everything between the big moves counts, both guys are selling their asses off – Reigns as The Ace always selling the tolls of this incredible run he’s had the last couple years, while Miz selling the desperation and exhaustion of facing said Ace. The sit-out powerbomb counter out of the It Kicks gets a HUUUUGE pop, as does the SkullCrushing Finale near fall.
And then, BIG SHIELD TEASE: Cesaro & Sheamus attack! “SHIELD” chants! TRIPLE POWERBOMB!!!! Tremendous.
Miz, Cesaro and Sheamus as guys the Shield is returning against is ideal stuff, both story-wise to get the heat and in-ring wise as a few good heavyweight wrestlers they can go toe-to-toe with. It’s not as random as the Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Dean/Seth SummerSlam build too, as the heels have motivations – Miz is bitter he’s not a #TopGuy, while Cesaro and Sheamus are bitter they don’t have their tag titles. Oh and The Shield knocked Cesaro’s teeth out. Love when the effort is put into the wrestling.
Seriously, Balor vs. Wyatt. Man.
Bayley/Sasha vs. Emma/Alicia was an OK enough tag in a rough spot.
Enzo Amore feuding with the entire cruiserweight division, as if they are a single entity, is kind of amazing. As is Enzo slowly proving the prophecy true and morphing into Captain Lou Albano. Tweener But Mostly Heel Enzo is what this world needed. “You damn right I deserve this thang, people!” “It’s loooonely at the top, it’s looooonely.” The run-down of each and every cruiserweight (except Tozawa – hilarious) was kind of incredible, including Gulak corpsing on Enzo calling him GABA-GOOLAY. Rough spot for the Kalisto Joins the Cruiserweights reveal, but a pretty cool development in itself. Still no faith in a Vince McMahon-owned company properly booking three Luchadores at a time, but here we are.
And then, FULL SHIELD TEASE!!! Sooo fucking cool and well done. The quiet shot of Roman in the locker room, then Dean shows up, and then Seth walks in. HUUUUUUGE!!!!! AMAZING!!!!! Wrestling can still make ya feel things sometimes.
SMACKDOWN (10/3/17)
In which SmackDown limps its way to Hell in a Cell.
I probably asked this same question with the shows reversed last October, but how are RAW and SmackDown produced by the same company? The wrestling is all OK but I just don’t give a flying fuck about anybody so nothing matters and the matches end up sucking too.
Nakamura/Jinder angle – K.
The Charlotte/Becky vs. Natalya/Carmella tag was perfectly fine, but there’s nothing to care about with this division right now. “Obviously you’re a female dog. If you know what that means” ARGGGHHH.
Was that a fucking 10-minute Kevin Owens/Shane video package?
Bobby Roode squashed Mike Kanellis.
This Dolph Ziggler angle will probably be written in the annals of history as genius but in the moment it feels pretty shit. Roode is in the classic new call-up situation where WWE immediately tries to expose him. He was crazy over in NXT, admittedly mostly due to the entrance – and now they will blatantly state that fact and see if he can swim. I love / hate it.
The Usos promo was just the best promo guys in wrestling doing their thing. God damn goosebumps. They deserve a better show.
Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin was good solid stuff trapped in a weak feud. This Dillinger run makes you understand why people praised him FOREVER until he finally got called up. He’s not getting pushed or anything, but all the cold matches he gets put in WORK. The matches flow well and get over – he’s a top-tier WWE-style wrestler, for better or worse. And he WON here! Oh Baron. “SHUT UUUP! THAT WAS 2!!!”
Terrible babyface promo by AJ Styles after the match. Awful scripting. What a dweeb.
SmackDown being shit aside, Rusev and English together is a brilliant act. Dream Team 2017.
The Shane/Owens brawl was kinda neat but went on forever. Owens put his heart into the promo but the material was pretty lame.
Hell in a Cell Falls Count Anywhere? Oh boy. Tried to think of a metaphor for a second but fuck it.
Get better, SmackDown.
205 LIVE (10/3/17)
This was a wrestling show. It was OK.
Hey, they removed the stupid Kalisto theme intro! Kalisto vs. Daivari was Daivairi doing his boring beatdown and Kalisto doing lucha things. It was OK.
Drew Gulak rules. Should be someone’s mouthpiece on RAW. Gulak vs. Mustafa Ali had a sweet spot where Ali did a little wave after a flip and Gulak yelled, “No flips!” and Ali responded “I forgot.” Otherwise, it was a match mostly based around Tozawa distracting everybody and yelling the HAH! thing from the entrance. It was OK.
Jack Gallagher is now apparently working matches in street clothes. Him and Cedric Alexander had themselves a moderately intense brawl. Liked the Gallagher Flair Flop into the barricade. The match was kind of fun, but stuck on 205 Live, so I get to continue the stupid theme here I’ve come up with. It was OK.
NXT (10/4/17)
Nikki Cross might be the best hot tag in the business. Otherwise the tag with Ruby vs. The Iconic Duo wasn’t much. Liked Nikki casually strolling to the ring mid-match and Peyton’s reaction to the bulldog/knee combo kickout.
Lio Rush has had a pretty wild ascent, man. Debuted in wrestling at 19 years old, and 3 years later he’s on NXT getting beat up by Velveteen Dream.
Aliyah/Kairi Sane was aight. Aliyah was throwin’ SHOTS. Sane’s spear and elbow remain awesome.
Drew vs. Roderick Strong for the NXT Title. They went long. They sold well. Hit some stiff strikes. Looked exhausted. There was a backbreaker on the stairs. A powerbomb to the post. And I just sat there, going – eh.
I’m definitely desensitized to the glut of good wrestling in the world right now, but WWE still had me flipping out for wrestling several times this week. This was a match where the effort seemed there, but nothing clicked. Neither of these two guys is clicking right now. It also would’ve been WAY better going 5 minutes versus 20. It had a couple neat individual moments, including the McIntyre Death Blow at the finish, but – eh.
Drew is a guy who in long matches is boring as sin in Super Indy NXT but he’s still got enough star presence where I am pretty sure he will succeed on the main roster.
MAIN EVENT (10/4/17)
From Dash vs. Rhyno to Dash vs. Heath to Dash vs. Rhyno to… Dash vs. Heath! Come back to us, Scott Dawson. Another fine enough match just like the others. I’d say these things aren’t having me expecting a Dash World Title run any time soon but we are in a post-Jinder world.
Swann/Lince vs. Nese/Dar was a tag match with four guys who seem pretty meaningless in Enzoland. That is kind of all I have to say about it.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Reigns vs. Miz, baby
WWE TV MVP of the Week: The Shield, baby
Not much in this company is clicking right now but the flagship show is crushing it, just absolutely crushing it.
RAW: 10/10
SmackDown: 3/10
205 Live: 5/10
NXT: 5/10
