I have not watched Japanese wrestling in 10 years. Here are my thoughts on New Japan’s Wrestle Kingdom 11.
Truth be told, I am a recovering puroholic – I left and stayed away out of necessity. If I go back, I go in deep. I’m not just talking New Japan Dome shows and TV – I’m talking Satoshi Kojima-produced All Japan cards, Kaientai Dojo undercards. Fucking Dradition and Dragon Gate and Poison Sawada JULIE. I can’t get back in, man. I can’t. So I look from afar.
If you haven’t read this blog before, you should know that I tend to go back and forth on if professional wrestling is art to be criticized or whether it’s just stupid fucking fun that I like to ramble about sometimes. I tend to lean towards the latter, but I feel like if I don’t offer some criticism then I’m recommending things that won’t hold up.
I couldn’t really escape the discussion of the show since it began at like 3AM CST – true story, I was watching SmackDown at the time because the dog started whining like the little brat he is and I couldn’t go back to sleep, and I saw the Twitter feed doing its’ thing. I got a little nostalgic for the early days of live-streaming big New Japan shows, or even getting them a few weeks later on tape from Highspots with those big beautiful labels – “NJ Wrestling World ’02, January 4th, 2002” that I’d eventually somehow make legitimate money on a few years later dubbing to DVD.
I still didn’t think I’d watch it, but then the much-hyped main event happened and it seemed as good a show as any to dip my toe into with. So I watched it. And here is what I thought.
Great opening video/card rundown, great aura. Love a Dome show. The Japanese commentary is infinitely better and I regret watching everything with the English on. If you’re gonna do English commentary for a supposed new audience then you can’t sound like a god damn nerd, though any American guy saying “Tiger the Dark” or “Hiroyoshi Tenzan” is prone to sounding like a dweeb. “Are you trying to take off your wedding ring?” SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
0. New Japan Rumble (Featuring: Michael Elgin, Billy Gunn, Bone Soldier, Cheeseburger, Hiro Saito, Hiroyoshi Tenzan, Jushin Thunder Liger, Kuniaki Kobayashi, Manabu Nakanishi, Ryusuke Taguchi, Scott Norton, Tiger Mask, Yoshitatsu and Yuji Nagata
The New Japan Rumble was a completely lovely mess of a match. I recognized everyone – I STILL GOT IT. What follows are my stream-of-consciousness thoughts as I watched: Michael Elgin always looks so unsure of himself. BILLY GUNN! Bone Soldier!? Big pop for Cheeseburger!! Took me 5 entrants to realize the countdown wasn’t someone’s theme intro. Popped for Liger theme – GOAT. OLD MAN KOBAYASHI kicking people in a muscle t-shirt is incredible. Nobody still reacts to Tiger Mask I see. NAKANISHI, BAY-BEE. Nice to see he’s transitioned into full-on Akira Taue mode. Oh my god Ryuske Taguchi – him, the eventual Yoshi Tatsu and Hirooki Goto had some EPIC Young Lion matches, man. Surfboard pin by Tiger on Liger was awesome. Yoshitatsu… doing Triple H cosplay. Alright. NAGATA-SAN!! With a t-shirt of his face! Nagata in the Rumble is kind of insane ain’t it. Same for Tenzan – glad they still have a place though. Gotta love Japan and their love of their loyal old men. Mongolian hip attack by Taguchi! OH MY GOD IT IS OLD MAN HIRO SAITO!!!!!!!!!!!! Tenzan and Saito working over Nagata!! HIRO SENTON BOMB!!!!!!!!!!! Most protected move in the business. SCOTT FUCKING NORTON. Insane powerbomb on Taguchi. Cheeseburger momentarily joining nWo Japan was neat. Just like a second of Big Scott/Big mike interaction – shame. Elgin vs. Cheeseburger/Tenzan was a hoot as was Cheeseburger and Elgin being last. Sweet fucking CHRIST that elbow by Elgin. Best *3/4 match of all-time.
1. Tiger Mask W (Kota Ibushi) vs. Tiger the Dark (ACH)
So Kota Ibushi is just gonna open the show under a mask and everyone’s OK with it? And we’re all OK with “Tiger the Dark”? We are all going to accept that? OK. Tiger vs. Tiger had some good spots and was solid opener, did what it had to what with the flying and the costumes and whatnot. A couple real dead spots though. Springboard moonsault is always a winner. **1/4
2. IWGP Jr. Tag Team Title: The Young Bucks [c] vs. Roppongi Vice (Rocky Romero & Beretta)
I always knew we’d get to a place where some guy’s Bandcamp page is plugged on a New Japan show – Trump is right, globalization is shit. The Young Bucks vs. Roppongi Vice was a real good time. Bucks’ gimmick with all the titles is solid and “What’s up, Dustin?” by Trent got a laugh out of this jaded mark. First few minutes of this kind of felt like a NOAH comedy 6-man opener with superkicks and dives, but then the Bucks started working over Trent and it got good. For guys known for the flipping and the superkicking the Bucks are really good at being dicks, setting stuff up and eating shit. That young boy took a wild bump on that superkick, man – he just WENT FOR IT. Beating on Trent was strong and Rocky looked great on the hot tag – really wish cameraman got that bump off the Meltzer Driver counter though. Countout tease from the superkicks on the ramp, Ode to the Bulldogs, sunset flip counter thing where one of the Bucks got to it before Rocky did, and Baretta’s willingness to tope into nothing were all great. Nice near falls at the end with Rocky going at it alone. Sweet finish. Fun!!! ***1/4
3. Gauntlet Match – NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Title: Satoshi Kojima, Ricochet & David Finlay [c] vs. The Bullet Club (Yujiro Takahashi, Bad Luck Fale & Hangman Page) vs. Los Ingobernables de Japon (BUSHI, EVIL & SANADA) vs. CHAOS (Jado, YOSHI-HASHI & Will Ospreay)
First thing’s first – oh my god, Yujiro is a pimp. The 6-man tag gauntlet was a long messy match where not much stood out – WWE can be real garbage sometimes but they would never let something like this on their show. Can’t believe Jado’s still at it. Love Kojima but he is old. In short bursts Adam Page, Will Ospreay and Ricochet all looked very good, though Ospreay needs to settle the fuck down. I like the cut of pasty-ass Dave Finlay’s jib too. LIJ’s got a vibe to em man, but for fuckssakes their Dome entrance is longer than the Undertaker’s. Bushi has a nice tope? *1/4
4. Cody vs. Juice Robinson
Cody vs. Juice Robinson was barely a Superstars Match Worth Watching. It felt like Cody was working a match for the wrong company, peaking when he went into the crowd after the match and Kelly started flipping out and the camera didn’t even bother cutting to it. WTF was he doing playing to Corino too? He’s really a blank slate of an Athletic Heel Wrestler… not good, maaaan. Juice took some nice bumps and the leg work/selling was okay, but this was not much. **
5. ROH World Title: Kyle O’Reilly [c] vs. Adam Cole
I liked Adam Cole vs. Kyle O’Reilly for the short intense match it was. A dude spitting in another dude’s face is always a solid way to start a match. That O’Reilly hits HARD. Dug the intensity and how O’Reilly’s shoulder just seemed wrecked. Nice FINISH HIM finish too. Good solid stuff. **3/4
6. 3-Way Match – IWGP Tag Team Title: The Guerrillas of Destiny (Tama Tonga & Tanga Roa) [c] vs. GBH (Togi Makabe & Tomoaki Honma) vs. CHAOS (Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano)
I am not sure if Makabe or Yano have changed at all since the last time I saw them and that’s just fine with me. Ishii was Choshu’s boy at the time but now he’s got credibility and shit. Honma was still trying to get the deathmatch stench off of him, so seeing him as like the third most over guy in the company is something else. To be completely honest, at 2 and a half hours in Toru Yano was the most interesting guy on the show to me. Camacho seeming just over the moon excited to swear was pretty hilarious too, though highlight for him was “DAMN YOOOOU.” This was kind of messy but pretty good and just bizarrely fun – not everything came off perfect but they just kept going with weird shit and it worked. The finish was a damn hoot and a half too. **3/4
7. IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Title: KUSHIDA [c] vs. Hiromu Takahashi
So the Junior Title match was fucking crazy. I saw both Hiromu Takahashi and Kushida live at Global Wars for the first time and found them to be fun but nothing stand out. This… this stood out. I can’t remember a juniors match at the Dome this heated. I liked Takahashi slowly transitioning from cocky asshole to desperate guy trying to win a title. Takahashi just took Kushida OUT with that early sunset powerbomb to the outside. Then Kushida tried to flip around and Takahashi said naw brah. The rana spot not going over the top was a bummer so Takahashi decides to salvage it by just wrecking his back on the outside with a senton. The Hoverboard Lock struggle was GREAT, as was Kushida just straight punching Takahashi in the face. Then the front bomb off the top… man. A really great, just balls to the wall kind of match. ****
8. NEVER Openweight Title: Katsuyori Shibata [c] vs. Hirooki Goto
The last time I saw Hirooki Goto he was a promising Young Lion. The last time I saw Katsuyori Shibata he was in his “freshman who smokes cigarettes” phase and hanging out with the cool kids like Kazunari Murakami. Shibata and Goto had themselves an awesome little sprint of a match here that encompassed all that I miss about the Japanese professional wrestling. Liked Shibata just outclassing Goto early with the headlock escape, sleeper on the apron, kick to the outside, and just beating the piss out of him in the corner with the best ever mudhole stomps leading to the big-ass corner dropkick. The “hold a guy on the ropes for a clean break and then slap him” is still the #1 best spot too. Then they just worked holds and hit each other and it was tremendous fun – real fucking wrestling, man. Those HEADBUTTS. It felt like both guys wanted to WIN this thing at all costs which is more than I can say for most of the undercard. I miss Shibata – fucking love this guy. And Goto is a weird one for me … I am not 100% sure heavyweight Goto did anything that would make me want to see him again as a wrestler, but at the same time I just want the fella to succeed. The god damn headbutt-off at the finish was 100% psychotic and then Goto overcame the odds, which was so cool. ****
9. IWGP Intercontinental Title: Tetsuya Naito [c] vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi
When I last left Tanahashi and Naito, Tanahashi was a superstar headed to the top and Naito was still a young feller trying to find himself. Now Tana is the top-star-in-decline of New Japan and Naito is full-on Japanese Stone Cold Steve Austin/DILLIGAF Shannon Moore. Looove Naito’s thing, man, even if Kelly and Corino almost ruined it with “He’s so cooool – c’mon, he’s awesome!” And the Destino kinda sucks as a finisher. Otherwise – love the guy. The Tanahashi/Naito video package was sooo good – a story that transcends language. I really liked the escalation of this match and at the same time it really felt intense from the start… I was digging it for a while but not loving it and then they had the “both guys down” spot after the High Fly Flow/Destino’s and god damn it all made sense. Enjoyed Naito being a cock (HE SPIT IN HIS FACE!) and the dueling leg work – both guys just kicking at each other’s leg towards the end was a blast. The apron Sling Blade and Tanahashi’s MASSIVE High Fly Flow to the outside were positively batty. Highly enjoyed Naito’s willingness to take neck bumps on the Sling Blade too. First 20 minutes were good, last 5 minutes were epic. ****
10. IWGP Heavyweight Title: Kazuchika Okada [c] w/ Gedo vs. Kenny Omega w/ The Young Bucks
Omega/Okada. Oh, the joys of seeing something special in professional wrestling and all the reaction that follows. Here is another silly take: this match is a few minutes of a good start to a long match, 10-20 minutes of bullshit, 5 minutes of cool-ass spots, and 10 minutes of one of the best finishing sequences I think I’ve ever seen. I really really liked this and it’s a hell of a spectacle but I can’t ignore that I was bored out of my mind for 20 minutes of it. When I think about what makes a truly classic pro wrestling match, and by proxy classic art, I think about something like Mad Men. Stay with me here. Mad Men Season 2 was a god damn slog, but it at least built characters and had payoffs. The first half of this match had none of that shit. But god DAMN, that finish.
Really did enjoy the first few minutes… I’m a big mark for extended headlocks and deep armdrags. The crossbody over the guardrail was neat but it was around that time that despite my best efforts I started to tune out. They just kind of did stuff and peppered in a nice spot here and there and it wasn’t super compelling. It’s like… they’re doing some cool shit, and I’d probably flip out if I saw it live and in-person, but I’m not FEELING anything, yanno? Undoubtedly they went HARD though, especially Omega who seemed amped to have the match of his life. The springboard moonsault into the crowd and double foot stomp onto the table were indeed crazy. Liked the struggle towards the end, loved Okada’s selling of the drama – holding the ropes to get up, pure disbelief over the Rainmaker kickout. The god damn back body drop to the table on the outside. And those KNEES. THOSE MOTHERFUCKING KNEES. THOSE WERE SOME STIFF-ASS GOD FORSAKEN KNEES. Last 10 minutes truly were batshit and dramatic and awesome and high-end professional wrestling in the truest sense of the word… first 30 or so didn’t completely have me though. It was really really really good. But chill the fuck out. ****1/2
It’s been this way for a long time, but Japanese matches like this tend to stand out from the crowd because there’s still something to be said for that Big Match Feel and treating this stuff seriously (and yes I’m aware of Omega’s hijinks and whatnot, but none of that was here). Japan also doesn’t have to run week after week of compelling television either. These days, my pro wrestling tastes lean towards the WWE stuff for a few reasons, but mainly because it’s still the biggest platform, I dig the stories, the company fascinates me, and I’m just generally more impressed by guys working crowds week after week than I am these individual big matches. The final 4 matches were great, but like Roman vs. Jericho from RAW a week ago was also like really god damn impressive, so when I hear “best match ever” thrown around I’m immediately just like “C’mon, maaaaan.”
As it was, it was a great show with a pretty crap and LONG undercard and an AWESOME final 4 matches. It wasn’t enough to reel me back in, but I might check out other big shows. I dig a lot of these guys individually, just not compelled by them enough to follow again. 8/10
