Goodbye to you, Alberto del Rio – for now, at least. You were a man that, based on the fact that earlier today you held a post-WWE release press conference from inside a Hooters, was far more interesting than your on-screen persona ever let on. And that always leads back a couple major themes in this weekly look at WWE TV – talented wrestlers stuck in an endless vacuum of weak storytelling and character development, and most of the interesting stuff that happens to WWE never makes it on the screen anyways.
I’m not saying Alberto del Rio was amazing or anything – by all accounts, wrestlers respect him and his work, and he’s had some really good matches, but he never really popped off screen… but he was also consistently involved in some questionable stuff – the original face turn, Mex-America, the League of Nations, whatever he had been doing the last few months. He’s not the best in the world, but there were endless other ways to get something out of a guy like that. But, you know – personalities, timing, the business, blah blah blah. We move on.
There is a new top champ on Monday Night RAW in Kevin Owens, and I’m a huge fan of his and it’s only a week in – but that we already seem to be stuck in a box of a Stephanie McMahon, Mick Foley, Triple H and maybe Paul Heyman power struggle, as well as another forced Roman Reigns title push, is not encouraging. I did think the sports entertainment was strong this week though – it wasn’t very compelling and there are always the inherent issues already alluded to here, but RAW was probably as good as it can get these days without any holy shit moments. And SmackDown was a solid show – nothing huge happened, but stuff moved forward and I didn’t want to puke as much as usual.
I really liked RAW – The Old Day thing sucked, Titus vs. Darren isn’t very good, authority figures still being the main arc of TV is yucky, and Charlotte and Dana as a team is pretty cringy… but everything else here was either good or at least made sense. There were four legit good matches, three solid squashes, and the cruiserweights are coming in 2 weeks – fuck yeah, get hyped. Charlotte vs. Bayley was one of those matches where it’s kind of weird it’s just happening already, but also hard to justify really complaining about it since it was so good. Established characters having the match they should have – wrestling, you did it. Charlotte’s great – stalling, pushing Bayley in the face, just acting like a damn queen. Bayley meanwhile is the ultimate babyface, and her winning was wild. Charlotte and Dana have got to work on their bumbling teammate schtick though, unless they’re some kind of postmodern version of the Three Stooges. Bo Dallas with a sign and Bo Dallas squashing a guy is sweet. So now it’s Bo Dallas and Darren Young with gimmicks derived from the Trump run. I’d say WWE should do a Hillary gimmick, but that’s probably Stephanie McMahon – AND THAT’S NOT A SHOT AT ANYBODY. IT’S MORE OF AN OBSERVATION OF WWE AS A WHOLE. I’M WITH HER.
Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins was a fun TV match… loved Rollins as the fired up babyface, going right at Jericho with a dropkick and tope. Worked a nice heel/face match, even if Rollins hasn’t really turned yet. Like in his Roman Reigns match, Jericho again looked better wrestling a WWE main event match vs. a Dream Match-type thing (i.e.: vs. Styles, vs. Zayn). And Rollins is good at both types of matches. Loved the back-and-forth into the Pedigree. Cesaro vs. Sheamus remains awesome – this was the shortest match but got across what they’re doing well, with Sheamus just demolishing Cesaro’s back. The Celtic Cross into the backbreaker was barbaric. Short but effective match. Enzo & Big Cass did another weird awesome promo and them vs. The Shining Stars was a fine Enzo & Cass match… the Primo bump into the corner was great. And then The Shining Stars won – alright. IT’S INTRUIGING. Nia Jax and Braun Strowman squashes were alright, and I thought Sin Cara challenging Braun was actually a great follow-up to last week. A little more offense on Braun and Jax this week too.
The show took a steaming halt with the Old Day segment… I guess they needed guys to take a bump, but relying on local indy guys for a comedy segment was an awful decision. A 24-year-old woman doing a fake retirement speech is going to be weird either way, but the Sasha fake retirement speech thing was not great. Wrasslin’ tends to be all about using the right folks in the right places, and Sasha doing this angle at this place in time just didn’t click. And I adore a fake retirement angle done right (looking at you, Big Mark). Owens vs. Zayn was a fun short version of a Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn match, though also a little heatless for how much crazy stuff they did. The slap-off and finish was pretty neat, with Zayn’s leg giving out. That they ran Reigns out and already churned out the Zayn match is scary. WWE seems so hellbent on giving the live crowd something to talk about (which, admittedly, they should) that they’re just blowing through so many matches – Zayn vs. Owens, Charlotte vs. Bayley, Rollins vs. Jericho and Cesaro vs. Sheamus is a massive PPV somewhere. There’s other ways to give a fun show. All four were good matches, but didn’t have the juice that you’d hope they’d have, and removed some of the juice from future big matches involving them too. I’m still bummed that RAW is advertising Backlash too. Inherent issues aside, a fun show.
SmackDown was a fine wrestling show that is making the most of its’ roster, and sometimes there’s more fun in that than watching a WWE production with tons of talent that’s only pretty good. Realistically, a show main evented by Zack Ryder and Mojo Rawley against Heath Slater and Rhyno is what everybody wanted. Not even being ironic. That was a solid match with some real stakes… the crowd is into Heath/Rhyno, and Ryder and Mojo did their thing, not really being overtly heel but playing foil to the Beauty and the Man Beast. The one Heath kid really jamming to Slater’s music was fantastic. Miz vs. Appolo Crews as the opener was a solid match… liked Miz begging off, Crews’ counter of the headlock takeover, Miz taking Crews’ flippy stuff. Crews hasn’t been impressive but he still says ‘woo hoo’ on the Stinger Splash so he has to be good. Talking Smack actually had Bryan hard-selling the real backstory of Crews and in a minute it got over Crews more than anything on RAW or SmackDown so far. And I saw that commentary in plenty of places this last week, but it really can’t be undersold – that’s insane.
The women’s stuff was alright but kind of like the Money in the Bank build this year where they have to shoe-horn everyone into the same segments and they always do it really awkwardly. The 6-woman match was okay… Becky and Alexa especially I thought looked good. And I appreciate them trying but the girl’s name is Carmella. Something has to give here. The American Alpha vs. Usos and Usos turn was tremendous television. Liked Usos going after them to some boos, then Alpha winning… Jordan’s reaction to the win was fantastic stuff. Then the Usos finally turn heel and try to break Chad Gable’s damn leg. Loved them taking out Jordan, then focusing on Gable… superkick to the leg, crab hold to setup a splash, fuckin’ awesome. I’m really interested in seeing heel Usos – they’re really really solid, to the point where I think they are sometimes underrated, as a WWE good guy tag team. But they have needed freshening up for a while. The promo they cut later in the show was incredible – I think it turned them face again.
Can you imagine being Charly Caruso and asking Randy Orton a simple damn question and getting that answer? Liked the idea of the promo, but Randy Orton reading a teleprompter does not make for very compelling television. Turning Kane into ECW’s 911 is a fine move, though it’s destined to get to a point where you wish Kane would run-in on half the show. “These hips are the truth.” The Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles face-off was alright, though blatant filler before Backlash. The “face that comes in second place” is a wonderful line; Brian Gerwitz couldn’t write that shit.
Fear the day that Daniel Bryan is reeled in on Talking Smack. This was another wacky show. Bryan straight shoots on the Sasha fake retirement angle, saying it wasn’t very good. When Renee Young asks if SmackDown would ever go to 3 hours, he responds with “shut your mouth.” He snaps on Dolph Ziggler for working for Fox Business, then straight asks him who he’s voting for. And THEN he comes out for Jill Stein. Then he aggressively tells the Apollo Crews story – rough upbringing, positive energy – better than WWE ever has, and says “I’m not allowed to talk about him” regarding The Miz. He also throws his cell phone to prove a point then asks on-air for it to be paid for. Dolph Ziggler gets in a good line – “Can I vote for all my girlfriends to win their matches?” after Renee chooses Ambrose to win against AJ. And Shane McMahon for his brief segment did not appear to give a single fuck. Best WWE production going.
NXT this week was another harmless episode with a few fun things. I like how it’s just super basic straightforward professional wrestling television. There’s nothing really buzzy about it right now, but it’s a perfectly acceptable hour of TV that occasionally has a sweet match or a cameo from Shinsuke Nakamura. TM61 vs. Tony Nese & Ariya Daivari from the CWC was a fun little match – it felt like a cruiserweight showcase masquerading as a solid basic tag team contest. I like that Daivari chooses to stand out from the crowd by just being a dickhead, while Nese continues to bring all the strongman kung-fu. And Shane Thorne has the craziest tope con hilo in the business. The Asuka interview wasn’t terrible but I think it’s amazing that they had a portion of the show specifically dedicated to saying that she doesn’t really have any real challengers right now. Ember Moon is the only one and she just showed up… they’ve got to establish some gals quickly. Speaking of Ember, her preparing outside to spooky music was awesome, and the match with Leah Von was a better showcase for her than the TakeOver match. Short, effective, awesome.
I thought Austin Aries vs. Andrade “Cien” Almas was pretty spectacular… a very good second round Cruiserweight Classic match, if you will. Almas seems to have dropped the hat and suspenders, which is a wonderful move if you are trying to get people to not hate him. Aries being an ass is a great thing and he’s really gotten fun since the turn. There were a bunch of pretty sequences here; these guys can do so much cool shit. Almas’ bump off the top rope was nasty, as was the dropkick in the corner. The boot to the face of the rolling elbow was insane, and I loved the powerbomb into the Last Chancery. Still not all in on Almas as a face but this was a good match. In the main event, Shinsuke Nakamura found a bunch of different ways to hit Steve Cutler. Samoa Joe, who was on commentary, looked incredibly inconvenienced the entire time. It was a fine segment to end a fine show.
CWC had another great week – not as strong as the last few, but that’s almost silly to mention because it was still a very fun show. I continue to love how different the show feels from anything WWE is doing or has done… obviously the in-ring is different, from new wrestlers to an apparent lack on restriction on what they can do, but the style of production is also notable – purple hue, wacky graphics and announcements, country and style differences highlighted, etc. Even the show kicking off with a close-up of Daniel Bryan and Mauro Ranallo gives it a cool look and fresh feel. Good stuff. Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Noam Dar was a straight grappling contest and I enjoyed it; thought it was the best Dar has looked so far, though it was also a much better opponent and someone he’s more familiar with. Both guys sold this like a legit fight… it felt like two brothers just pasting each other until one quit. It had some crazy grappling, Sabre trying to break Dar’s arm, Dar trying to break Sabre’s leg, sweet counters, a bunch of stiff shots. The fight for control out of Dar’s kneebar late in the match was sweet, ending with a nasty slap. Totally bought both the backslide counter near fall and reverse cradle with the headstand near fall. The finish was crazy… Sabre just straight boots Dar in the head, then defies gravity to get him into a nutty submission where he uses his legs to pull back Dar’s arms because his own arm is hurting. CHRIST. Didn’t think it was as blowaway good as the higher-end CWC stuff, and I did see quite a bit of negative reaction online, but I found it to be a blast. It was basically a more dramatic and crazier version than the Gulak match – or, in other terms – Stan Hansen vs. Big Van Vader with Euro-trained twinks.
Rich Swann grooving while the referee checked him for foreign objects… it’s the little things, people. TJP vs. Swann was a lot of fun, though it was a little less dramatic and amazing as the CWC has grown accustomed too – and THAT, folks, is why wrestling matches can’t ALWAYS be balls out great. This had some wild chain wrestling and rope-running at the start mostly based around dabbing spots – and people say cruiserweights can’t tell stories. Then they did a bunch of crazy stuff – and these two are good at doing crazy stuff – while TJP wrecked Swann’s leg. Loved TJP’s Tiger suplex lift into the double knees, as well as TJP countering Swann’s jumping 450 with the kneebar. Those kicks at the end were so gnarly too. They’ve set up a lot of nice near falls for the semis and finals as well … the kneebar is DEATH at this point. TJP immediately hugging Swann when he tapped out too… my god, I love wrestling.
This was a week of guys making funny faces on C-shows. Main Event had Dolph Ziggler giving a look at the start of his entrance like, “yeah I’m back, Main Event motherfuckers.” And as Neville prepared to jump into the ring on Superstars, he gave a look like, “Fuck, do I gotta?” Main Event had a decent Ziggler/Aiden English match. I’m a big fan of Aiden English, and really enjoy him starting matches with one hand behind his back. He did a fine job controlling Dolph here as they had your standard sub-10 minute WWE TV match that had some nice counters towards the end. Gotch was kind of nuts at ringside too – he might be a better manager than wrestler. Since SmackDown doesn’t have enough depth for a proper C-show, the second match on the show was Jack Swagger vs. Jinder Mahal. Maaan can I not wait for Curt Hawkins!!
Superstars had a solid Neville vs. Curtis Axel (who no longer has the Mr. Irrelevant name) match… basic WWE C-show match with some cooler shit from Neville. Finish seemed a little awkward. Jack Swagger vs. Titus O’Neil was alright, with a couple fun moments that were probably reckless but made the match more interesting… Titus getting whipped into corner and not really bumping but just falling down, Titus taking control by swinging Swagger’s arm into the ropes, and a nasty bodyslam… also by Titus. Swagger is OK at what he does with occasionally inspired performances (like last week vs. Rusev). I don’t get the sense he likes professional wrestling like a Cody Rhodes, but he does like sports entertainment. And he does OK at it, even if it mostly doesn’t seem to matter.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Starting to think it’s unfair to keep going CWC, but rules are rules. Zack Sabre Jr. and Noam Dar had the grittiest, most intense, most fun match this week. If I’m going main roster – Slater/Rhyno vs. Hype Bros from SmackDown and either Bayley/Charlotte or Rollins/Jericho were probably the finest examples of TV wrestling done in a big ass arena.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: The Usos. A great heel turn followed by a great promo… keep it up, uce.
