The Kickoff panel banter with Renee, Booker, Lawler and Lita is horrendous and makes me hate everything about World Wrestling Entertainment. As a first-time fan thing, I can’t see how this isn’t terrible, and as a viewer every week, this is the worst thing that’s ever existed.
The Kickoff show matches made for a solid episode of Superstars, though they were in front of a half-empty crowd that hadn’t quite entered the Barclays Center yet.
0. The Usos, American Alpha & The Hype Bros vs. Breezango, The Vaudevillains & The Ascension
Opener had your typical fun WWE multi-man finish, otherwise wasn’t notable. **
0. Sami Zayn & Neville vs. The Dudley Boyz
Zayn/Neville vs. Dudleys was a basic tag match with some cool shit from Zayn and Neville. **
0. Best of 7 Series – Match #1: Cesaro vs. Sheamus
Sheamus/Cesaro I dug – it started slow but had their typical in-your-face work, and then the finish was tremendous stuff with some really stiff shots and fun sequences. ***1/4
1. Enzo & Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens
Enzo/Cass getting the DOUBLE POP – one for the music, one for the appearance – is tremendous. Them vs. JeriKO was a fine Enzo/Cass formula match with KO bringing the big time entertainment, so a fun time overall. Jericho/Owens were a little short on the double team finish but the move looked nastier because of it. ***
2. WWE Women’s Title: Sasha Banks [c] vs. Charlotte
So Charlotte/Sasha. First of all – I fuckin’ hate the Internet, because even though this match deserves criticism, people are going to be assholes about it. But then people are also going to be babies about people criticizing it too. This was an example of a match just not connecting, with a couple rough spots really throwing off the flow and not much coming together. In a way, it eventually became kind of compelling with Sasha as a Sabu-type sacrificial underdog character. Lots of attempts at a lot of big spots with only a few of them looking any good. **
3. WWE Intercontinental Title: The Miz [c] w/ Maryse vs. Apollo Crews
The Miz/Apollo Crews match was competent but not very exciting. Not much to it, really forgettable. Everything about Crews needs a kick in the ass right now. *3/4
4. John Cena vs. AJ Styles
John Cena/AJ Styles was a really fun match, though it was also just kind of a big fun closing stretch, and while that’s neat, Gargano/Ciampa from the CWC was a way better version of that. The suplex to Cena on the apron, which followed the Sasha neck bumps, really made me question everyone in WWE’s sanity. There were some WILD near falls at the finish, and I liked that they played with the expected Cena win. This was a match that was an impressive performance that didn’t really connect with me until the last half. ****
5. WWE Tag Team Title: The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) [c] w/ Jon Stewart vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson
The Jon Stewart stuff was personally fun but tanked with the crowd. New Day vs. The Club was a solid but forgettable tag match that had an awesome return by Big E, running down and just wrecking shit. **
6. WWE World Title: Dean Ambrose [c] vs. Dolph Ziggler
Dean Ambrose/Dolph Ziggler was a very strange match to run like nineteen hours into this show. It had Ambrose being a dick and some cool sequences, but they just kind of went through the motions and nobody cared. Still a lot of work to do if Dolph’s going to matter, and while I think they can get there, they didn’t by the time this happened. **1/2
7. Becky Lynch, Naomi & Carmella vs. Natalya, Alexa Bliss & TBD (Nikki Bella)
Women’s 6-man was alright but again placed in a very weird spot. The silence for Carmella was sad. Nikki being back is cool. Becky had a few fun moments. **
8. WWE Universal Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins
Finn Balor and Seth Rollins just working holds while the crowd chanted random stuff against the new belt was surreal. This was another good, slightly cold-feeling match. The crowd doing the Balor arms thing was incredible. The rocket has been strapped to Balor in a really fun way, with clean wins over Reigns and Rollins in the same month – I’m not sure he’s all there yet but I’m glad they’re trying something new. ***
The KFC thing was placed at just the right time in this show to make you question whether it was just a hallucination.
Rusev vs. Roman Reigns for the WWE U.S. Title Does Not Begin
Rusev/Reigns was a great brawl that left me wondering why they couldn’t do it on RAW. The RAW main event was better than anything on this show, and might have bumped this up a bit. Though Cena/AJ and Balor/Rollins were good matches, neither connected with me like this sweet fight did. To run a bullshit match cancellation at this point in the show was insane though.
9. Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman vs. Randy Orton
Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton was a fun spectacle of a match with a whole bunch of smoke and mirrors tricks – table spots, finisher kick-outs, Orton bleeding a fuckin’ bucket of blood. With the finish they went with, no matter how insane it was, I have no idea why they went with this as the main over Balor/Rollins. Heyman’s “What did you do?” shtick is so overplayed at this point. A fun brawl, but really on the lower end of Brock’s WWE return run. ***
Holy Foley being the follow-up to this was something out of a nightmare.
This was a big time, stacked card that under-delivered. There was a lot worth watching: last 5 minutes of Cesaro and Sheamus, Enzo’s promo, Sasha’s bumps, The Club backstage segment, Cena/AJ, Big E’s return, Nikki’s return, Balor’s win, Reigns/Rusev brawl, and most of Brock/Orton. But that’s not enough for 6 hours of wrestling. The show overall was laid out really weird, from Charlotte/Sasha going second to Universal Title going before Reigns/Rusev and Brock/Randy. This was a long show that felt like it was constantly cooling down the crazy Brooklyn crowd. Too much stuff was decent but completely forgettable, and a lot of the top matches just felt like attempts at epic matches that never worked out. 4/10
