The year is 1988, the town is my hometown of Chicago at the UIC Pavillion. The feeling is all-around stupid. The territory is dying. The wrestling is boring and sloppy. The finishes are crap. Larry Nelson is interviewing folks all horny and maybe drunk. Every match on this show besides one hovers around five minutes, so you get 12 short suck-ass matches that felt longer than they really were.
1. Chavo Guerrero, Mando Guerrero & Hector Guerrero vs. Cactus Jack & The Rock ’n’ Roll RPMs (Mike Davis & Tommy Lane)
The first two matches might be the best outside of the AWA Title match. The opener of The Guerrero Brothers (sans Eddie) vs. The Rock ‘n’ Roll RPMs and a young Cactus Jack has some really fun exchanges, as well as a Cactus concrete bump. A hopeful start to the show. **1/4
2. WCWA World Light Heavyweight Title: Jeff Jarrett [c] vs. “Flamboyant” Eric Embry
Eric Embry vs. Jeff Jarrett for the WCCW Light Heavyweight Title was quick and effective, good sub-5 minute TV match that made sense and wasn’t stupid. Stone Cold Steve Austin is a total mark for this match in that it got cut short and they made the most of it. **1/4
And then the show continued…
3. The Boogie Woogie Man” Jimmy Valiant vs. Wayne Bloom
Boogie Woogie Man Jimmy Valiant versus a young Wayne Bloom. Boogie Woogie matches are Boogie Woogie matches, and this one went like 30 seconds, but the elbow drop finish wasn’t done well so 50% of the 30 seconds is crap. Uh oh. DUD
All they seem to spend time building up during the entire show is a 10-woman Lingerie Battle Royal, brought to you by P.O.W.W., a women’s group born out of the ashes of G.L.O.W. that only lasted two years. And with wrestler names like Pocahontas, Candi Devine, and The Syrian Terrorist, you gotta’ wonder how they never made it out of the 80s. A super creepy Larry Nelson interviews most of the competitors and these interviews are what begins to take this show to dumpster fire territory real quick.
4. WCWA Texas Heavyweight Title: Iceman King Parsons [c] vs. Brickhouse Brown
Brickhouse Brown and Iceman King Parsons go at it in a sloppy but inoffensive match with a garbage finish, which describes most matches on this show. *
5. Mixed Tag Team Match – AWA World Tag Team Title & AWA World Women’s Title: Badd Company (Paul Diamond & Pat Tanaka) [c] & Madusa Miceli w/ Diamond Dallas Page vs. The Top Guns (Ricky Rice & Derrick “Starfire” Dukes) & Wendi Richter
Badd Company and Madusa vs. two guys named The Top Guns and Wendi Richter lock horns in a Mixed Tag Match that’s a total mess. Madusa getting spanked and repeatedly getting called a bimbo makes you think Vince McMahon is some paragon of moral behavior. This has got an early Diamond Dallas Page promo if you’re into that sort of thing. *1/4
6. AWA International Television Title: Greg Gagne vs. Ron Garvin
Ronnie Garvin vs. Greg Gagne at least has Garvin beating the crap out of Greg, and is the most realistic-feeling match on the show, but it isn’t much. And then there’s a stupid countout finish – as with most AWA shows, outside circumstances lead to stupidity (Garvin was leaving for WWF). Greg Gagne regains the title to boos, then says Garvin’s the Bears and the Minnesota Vikings just steamrolled the Bears. And I think he was a good guy. Fucking hell. *1/2
7. $10,000 P.O.W.W. 9-Woman Beverly Hills Street Fight Lingerie Battle Royal (Featuring: Bambi, Peggy Lee Leather, Laurie Lynn, Brandi Mae, Malibu, Nina, Pocohantas, Luna Vachon and The Syrian Terrorist)
The Lingerie Battle Royal happens. One of the weirdest things on the Network. There might be classier Playboy Pillow Fights. OK I take that back but you get the point. DUD
Bill Apter awards Jerry Lawler an award for being the Most Inspirational Wrestler of the Year, which get boos. Lee Marshall, who has been on commentary this whole time, isn’t sure if Lawler is coming out to accept – and he doesn’t.
8. Boot Camp Match: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Col. DeBeers w/ Diamond Dallas Page
There’s a Sgt. Slaughter Boot Camp match with super racist Col. Debeers that is actually OK as far as a dumb ass brawl, and then the Iron Sheik shows up at the end to remind you of better matches. *1/4
9. WCWA World Tag Team Title: The Samoan Swat Team (Samu & Fatu) w/ Buddy Roberts [c] vs. Michael “PS” Hayes & Steve Cox
The Tag Titles match of Samoan Swat Team vs. Michael Hayes and Steve Cox (notably only for his nickname of “Do It To It” Steve Cox) has some OK action, but at this point any goodwill has disappeared. Another dumbass finish gets “Shoot the Referee” chants. **
10. Indian Strap Match: Wahoo McDaniel vs. “Ragin’ Bull” Manny Fernandez
Wahoo McDaniel vs. Manny Fernandez in an Indian Strap Match is terrible, only notable for Tatsumi Fujinami being at ringside. Wahoo and Manny blade but there’s no drama in it; it’s just kind of gross. *1/2
11. AWA World Heavyweight Title vs. WCWA World Heavyweight Title Unification Match: Jerry Lawler [c] vs. Kerry Von Erich w/ Frank Dusek
Jerry Lawler vs. Kerry Von Erich is very good, basically worked around Kerry’s punches and Lawler flopping all over the place. Kerry’s arm inexplicably bleeds before the match, I believe due to scratching himself with the blade he’d be using later to cut his forehead. Fucking wrestling, man. Kerry bleeds all over the place in this and there’s actually some drama in it, though Lawler seems totally grossed out by his blood dripping all over him. Fucking wrestling, man. This really is very good… and then they stop the match and award it to Lawler while he’s in The Claw from Von Erich. THESE FUCKERS. ***1/4
12. The Rock & Roll Express vs. The Stud Stable (Robert Fuller & Jimmy Golden) w/ Sylvia
Rock & Roll Express vs. Stud Stable main events, I guess to send the crowd home happy? And it’s perfectly fine until IT GOES TO A DOUBLE DQ! WHAT! This had to be a mercy kill of a territory. I just don’t understand it. Lee Marshall says during this – “we hate to say it, but good god we told you so – the most historic and most exciting night in the history of professional wrestling.” There’s hyperbole and then there’s just being an insulting dick. **1/4
This was a hot dumpster fire of a wrestling show. I mean wrestling is inherently pretty stupid, but sometimes a wrestling show will transcend that stupidity into some kind of other dumb ass dimension and that is what this show did. Lawler vs. Von Erich is good. But only watch this show as an experiment, not to see good wrestling. Godspeed, AWA. 1/10
