Less than a month had passed since SANADA shocked the world and beat Kazuchika Okada for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship. Maybe more jolt than shock. Spark? Poke? Just a little tickle? New Japan’s April ended with the Road to Wrestling Dontaku tour, Hirooki Goto’s 20th Anniversary Show on 4/22, and Wrestling Satsuma No Kuni on 4/29. New Japan’s May started with Wrestling Dontaku 2023, headlined by SANADA’s first title defense plus four other title matches. Just Five Guys? More like Just Five Title Matches. We’re laughing!
Five (other) matches from the late-April shows were pretty great, so thoughts on those first…
0. Tetsuya Naito vs. DOUKI (4/27/23)
SANADA basically Banshees of Insheerin’d Naito so I empathize with the funk that’s led him to this midcard detour (doesn’t he do this every year now actually?). DOUKI showed off a deep bag before his energy shifted to survival mode, and he worked all match like it was a main event (it was third from top). Sometimes Naito played along. In a match packed with movement the finish was simple, Naito reversing a suplex with a brainbuster then Destino for 3. ***1/2
0. IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Tag Team Title: Francesco Akira & TJP [c] vs. KUSHIDA & Kevin Knight (4/27/23)
This was the United Empire boys’ fifth title defense, so they’re putting up El Desperado and Nick Jackson numbers now. KUSHIDA and TJP brought the technique (watch that headscissors escape), then Akira (who I’m still programmed to automatically write out in all caps) and Knight brought the flash (watch that rope-running). Leg work on KUSHIDA and double teams on Knight seemed to have the Intergalactic Jet Setters done for, until KUSHIDA handspring kicked Akira in the face and Knight DDT’d TJP right on his dumb head and they actually won the titles! If someone asked me to choose I’d say Akira & TJ’s last defense was probably their best. ***3/4
0. IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Title: Hiromu Takahashi [c] vs. Yoshinobu Kanemaru (4/27/23)
It was Thursday night in Hiroshima and Yoshinobu Kanemaru was in the main event, wrestling for over half an hour in pursuit of Hiromu Tanahashi’s junior championship. It was excellent, as 47-year-old Kanemaru showed off all the things that have kept his spot on a major roster safe for nearly 30 years: the consistency, the reliability, the leg work. Kanemaru is so calm and subtle in the way he goes about keeping a match on track, all while he’s being a sneaky little shit too. He did a knee crusher off the apron that resulted in two 19-counts, then Hiromu tried a sunset flip powerbomb like a dummy and Kanemaru took further advantage. Hiromu couldn’t find much offense at all until 15 minutes in when Kanemaru got ambitious and went for a moonsault (it missed).
Back up Hiromu hit a clothesline, so dropkicked the leg and took a shot of whiskey. Hiromu hit a Death Valley bomb in the corner and a Time Bomb, so Kanemaru dropkicked the leg again and hit a knee crusher. The man was applying a figure-four leglock 25 minutes in and making the crowd go crazy with it, and then a few minutes later the crafty bastard did it again! I don’t think anyone in the audience actually believed Kanemaru was winning, but it was a joy to watch this master at work earnestly try. ****1/4
0. IWGP Tag Team Title: Mark Davis & Kyle Fletcher [c] Mikey Nicholls & Shane Haste (4/29/23)
These white boys were wrestling, man. ***1/2
0. KOPW 2023 – Takagi Triad Match: Shingo Takagi [c] vs. Taichi (4/29/23)
Wrestle Satsuma No Kuni was headlined by Shingo Takagi defending the King of Pro Wrestling trophy in a Triad Match against Taichi, who he’s already had great matches with that didn’t have a trophy or 3-fall Ultimate Triad stipulation. The trophy and Triad worked incredibly well earlier this month against Aaron Henare, who didn’t win but had the best match of his career. It worked incredibly well here too, with their usual stuff like chops and kicks and lariats and backdrop suplexes but also the nastiest abdominal stretch and STF you might ever see in your life.
Shingo got his first fall 10 minutes in before Taichi countered Last of the Dragon with a Taichi Clutch to get his. The gamengiri, folding powerbomb, Axe Bomber and Black Mephisto were enough to knock Shingo out for a second fall, but he responded with a Pumping Bomber, sliding elbow and Made in Japan that tied it up. They continued to throw chops and elbows. Headbutts. Sometimes they just started chopping each other’s necks. Sometimes they just collapsed. They continued to try signature moves, and sometimes they hit them but sometimes their muscles just didn’t work. Both were pouring sweat a few minutes in but the match lasted nearly 45-minutes, staying amazing bell-to-bell until Taichi locked in a Stretch Plum so tight and vicious that it won him the trophy. ****1/2
A few nights later was Wrestling Dontaku itself.
1. Hirooki Goto, YOSHI-HASHI, Toru Yano & YOH vs. EVIL, Yujiro Takahashi, SHO & Dick Togo
The good guys jumped at the bell then the bad guys beat up Toru Yano with a turnbuckle pad before YOH dove to the floor and Bishamon put down Togo. A lot can happen in 4 minutes. *3/4
2. Mikey Nicholls, Shane Haste & Kosei Fujita vs. Mark Davis, Kyle Fletcher & Great-O-Khan
Aussie Open ran off EVIL then stuck around for this, where Fujita and O-Khan going at each other was the highlight of TMDK and Aussie Open getting their shit in for 5 minutes. **3/4
3. Shota Umino, KUSHIDA & Kevin Knight vs. Aaron Henare, TJP & Francesco Akira
The brief pairing of Shota Umino (crowd favorite with a cool jacket) and Aaron Henare (recently kept up with Shingo Takagi for 45 minutes) looked like something that should be a title match in the future. Otherwise, this didn’t really get anywhere before it ended at 6 minutes. **3/4
4. Tetsuya Naito, Shingo Takagi & BUSHI vs. Taichi, Yoshinobu Kanemaru & DOUKI
Just Five Guys’ theme song starts like this now: “You already die. Just… five… guys!” That’s all I really thought about besides the fact that the bell rang at around 7 minutes. **3/4
Before the title matches, the Best of the Super Jr. 30’s 20 participants were announced, including Hiromu Takahashi, El Desperado, KUSHIDA, Wheeler Yuta, Mike Bailey, Lio Rush, and — by golly, that’s DAN MOLONEY!
5. STRONG Openweight Title: KENTA [c] vs. Hikuleo
This was a questionable one, as far as matchmaking and booking wrestling cards goes. As an actual real-life match it had some moments, ones possible thanks to Hikuleo’s progress in the ring and KENTA’s progress in being able to kill time with shtick while wrestling anyone anywhere. Alas. I do not recommend spending your time on KENTA vs. Hikuleo. **3/4
6. NJPW World TV Title: Zack Sabre Jr. [c] vs. Jeff Cobb
Zack Jr. is always exhausting everyone with his hold-for-hold bullshit but here he ran into Jeff Cobb, an Olympian who escaped a wristlock early on by just tossing ZSJ to the side. When Cobb gutwrenched suplexed him off the top rope around 10 minutes into the match, ZSJ still hadn’t managed much of anything – until he finally caught Cobb with the PK. From there he was able to survive until the 15-minute time limit, leaving behind a disappointed challenger and superb clash of power and technique. ****
7. NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Title: Minoru Suzuki, El Desperado & Ren Narita [c] vs. Kazuchika Okada, Hiroshi Tanahashi & Tomohiro Ishii
Okada and Tanahashi had a couple excellent tag matches in March based around Okada being an increasingly grumpy ace and Tanahashi being an old and broken down piece of shit. This was another, and I can’t accept the notion that Tanahashi is washed when he can still play a part in a match this good. He got caught with arm work early, dropped the ball when Okada got it back, and at one point Ishii had to shout at ol’ Ace to get up. It was a gripping thing to watch, compounded by Tana’s empathetic selling and Okada still being the biggest asshole all match. Sometimes Ishii and Desperado would just get in there and tear it up too. So many great things going on all at once.
After young Ren Narita stepped up to him before the bell, Okada spent the match A) making angry faces on the apron, B) doing stiff work in the ring, and C) refusing to let Ren get the better of any sequence they had together. Option C lasted until the end (after Despy punched Ishii in the face and Ishii did a headbutt back), when Okada and Ren tagged in and Ren shot first. Okada quickly threw him to the floor and into the guardrail, but Ren roared back with a big boot and threw Okada into the rail himself! Back in the ring he managed a couple near falls from a couple sweet suplexes before Tanahashi FINALLY showed up with a Sling Blade out of nowhere to help Okada end Ren’s run. Could’ve Okada fought back without the help? I want to find out. Loved this match. Afterwards, Shota Umino walked out to introduce a video message from Jon Moxley challenging for the 6-man titles. ****1/4
8. NEVER Openweight Title: Tama Tonga [c] vs. David Finlay
I could tell you what happened in this match but I think you already know. They wrestled for 20 minutes before a moment where Jado weighed throwing in the towel for a hurting Tama Tonga that forced me to quietly assess whether the match was good or not. El Phantasmo attacked Finlay afterwards, then bowed to Jushin Liger at ringside and took a seat in the crowd. ***1/4
9. IWGP World Heavyweight Title: SANADA [c] vs. Hiromu Takahashi
SANADA has a new blue robe to go with his new IWGP World Heavyweight Championship, and his first defense was against his old Los Ingobernobles friend and the current IWGP World Jr. Heavyweight Champion. There wasn’t much drama in the result (I mean.. a junior heavyweight beating a heavyweight? Could you imagine??) so they just packed the match with as much fun stuff as they could at a really impressive pace. Instead of holds and matwork early on they just started running the ropes, staying even with chops, suplexes, and the ability to land on their feet to reverse those suplexes.
SANADA is not a wrestler known for his emotions and it can be challenging to discern much of anything from the scowl he wrestles with. Occasionally something will break through though, like when he really started feeling it after a sustained run of offense… but got caught with an inside cradle, tilt-a-whirl DDT and DVD into the turnbuckle. He had a real “I got this” look going when he caught Hiromu with a TKO after that… but he missed a moonsault and started getting Time Bombed. Eventually he was able to absorb an Axe Bomber and threw uppercuts that had Hiromu reeling for the rest of the match. After taking one of the best bumps for a Shining Wizard ever, Hiromu went down to the Deadfall DDT. SANADA’s first title defense was great stuff, though once again the guy he was wrestling probably deserves most of the credit.
After the match Yota Tsuji returned to New Japan from excursion as SANADA’s replacement in Los Ingobernobles in Japon! They’re calling him… Gene Blast? The Gene Blast is after SANADA!
Happy Thoughts: The undercard was average but the title matches were tremendous, or at least pretty good. One of them was the best New Japan 6-man tag since, like, the 90s. I’ll look that up. 4.0 / 5.0
