Rising HAYATO, Ryo Inoue & Fuminori Abe vs. Naruki Doi, Koji Iwamoto & Takahiro Katori
These six men of smaller stature (also known as ‘’junior heavyweights’’) rang up the new year in Korakuen Hall with a fun sprint. Katori, the human/rabbit hybrid from FREEDOMS who recently appeared on the New Age Chronicle shows, made his main roster debut (cough) by trading twinky acrobatics with Rising HAYATO. In other breaking news, Inoue debuted fancy new gear that thankfully does not deviate from his Kawada-approved color scheme. ***
In an impromptu RAW is ZEN NIHON segment, HAYATO reminded us that punk’s not dead and that he is now in his Green Day era. Tremendous development.
Minoru Tanaka © vs. Black Menso-re – GAORA TV Title
As revenge for the Saito Brothers holding the G-Infinity tag belts since the dawn of time, Minoru decided to keep the GAORA title hostage for all of 2023. Fair play from the GLEAT camp, but the sheer quality of this match made the whole endeavor even more frustrating. We could’ve had matches like this all along!? Tanaka again proved worthy of his ‘Special One’ moniker, showing off all of his best qualities in a swift 9 minutes of wrasslin’. Smooth as silk and able to whip up an arm-work subplot on the fly, this man keeps kicking the shit out of Father Time – much like he did to Menso-re. There was a great bit where Menso-re clapped back at Tanaka’s ‘’Yohei Nakajima’’ taunts by loudly screaming ‘’HEAT’’ at him. Never forget Minoru’s short-lived super hero career. Loved the roll-up-heavy ending stretch with all of Korakuen rallying behind the reptilian prankster. ***1/2
Kento Miyahara, Yuma Aoyagi & Atsuki Aoyagi vs. Shotaro Ashino, Kuroshio TOKYO Japan & Seigo Tachibana
The Ashino comeback tour has rapidly morphed into a WRESTLE-1 reunion extravaganza. If you were hoping for Big Ash to immediately get into serious Triple Crown Challenger Mode following his injury – tough luck. There’s a lot more partying to be done before he gets there. The one-two punch of back-to-back Kento/Ikemen entrances set the tone here – a lot of laughs and a lot of fun. Terrific crouch-off between Kento/Tachibana and equally good ending stretch between Ashino/Atsuki. ***1/4
Great Asako & Mirai Aono vs. Misa Matsui & Natsumi Sumikawa
Well. The controversial AWG partnership has a tough road ahead. On the plus side, the Actwres gang (minus Asako) are light years ahead of the Evo Girls and won’t need to learn on the job. That being said, booking them on this card unannounced may not have been the smartest move considering the Japanese fanbase’s irritation from the latest news cycle. Cold reception or not, the girls had their working boots on and laid their shit in. I don’t know what to make of Asako though. Her schtick seems based around botching Great Muta spots, which wasn’t ideal for an introduction match. **1/2
Suwama, Ryuki Honda, Ren Ayabe, Osamu Nishimura & Mitsuya Nagai vs. Minoru Suzuki, Davey Boy Smith Jr., Hokuto Omori, Jun Saito & Rei Saito
Despite the looming threat of WWE imperialism, the spirit of All Japan will remain intact as long as we get random-ass tag matches like this one. It does not matter if the matches are good or not, as long as Nishimura shows up once in a while. Here we got some cool shit like Davey Boy trading uppercuts with Big Nish, but the action unfortunately devolved into a Suwama House Show Special aka. infighting overload leading to a non-finish. **
Katsuhiko Nakajima & Hideki Suzuki vs. Yuma Anzai & Charlie Dempsey
Just what the doctor ordered for 2024 – a big ol’ truckload of toxic masculinity. On one level, this served as a much better introduction for Dempsey than the novelty tag against the Fujinami Family. Baby Regal wrestled his ass off, showing a ton of technique and physicality. On another level, it was just a cool freakin’ match with everyone oozing piss and vinegar. Anzai still had the 2023 N1 Victory match with Nakajima on his mind and did everything in his power to get him to snap – always a great idea. As much as Hideki annoys me, this was the perfect way to use him. The Euro-flavored grapple-fest with Dempsey was super compelling, as was him trying to talk Anzai out of getting murdered by Katsuhiko after the match. In terms of building up the upcoming Bizarro World Triple Crown match – that ending stretch did the trick. Dempsey’s selling of the Stomach Kick of Death was outstanding and I’m 100% down for more of him and Katsu. ***3/4
Dan Tamura © vs. Hikaru Sato – AJPW Jr. Heavyweight Title
A few days ago, Tamura won the big one and banished the tanning salon terrorist El Lindaman. To officialise his ascension as junior top dog, Daniel took on former division ace and Evolution colleague/mentor Sato. It was a stiff, no-bullshit kind of match where Tamura had to prove his toughness by enduring some of the nastiest forearms of the year (this show took place on January 2nd). The story eventually turned into a clash between Hikaru’s submission superiority and Dan’s wholesome fighting spirit, which worked super well right up until the somewhat puzzling Boston crab finish. Considering these guys’ dynamic and the Passing of the Junior Torch subtext, it didn’t land for me as an ending but everything leading up to it kicked ass. ***3/4
New Year Battle Royal
The annual battle royal continues be a misunderstood work of art. Lots of comedic highlights in this year’s edition, including Kento flexing his new Chairman Powers (only to be immediately thrown out) and Wada attempting a god damned rope-walk. The New Period 5-count elimination was one of the most galaxy-brained gags in recent memory and the Ryo Inoue triumph was equally inspiring. Happy New Year to all my Zen Nihon Freaks.
