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Captain Lou’s Review: AJPW Champion Carnival 2023 – Finals (5/7/23)

Ryuki Honda, Ryo Inoue & Oji Shiiba vs. Yuto Nakashima, Kosei Fujita & Ryohei Oiwa

Completely bonkers opener that lived up to the hate-filled intensity of the previous Young Lions vs. AJPW showdowns. Honda stepped up to the plate in a big way, not only eclipsing his entire Carnival run but potentially finding himself a new soulmate in NJPW’s Nakashima.

The afro-haired menace put in one of his most chaotic performances yet, running around with a bloodied mouth and wrecking stuff. It pained me to see the recently leveled-up Ryo Inoue go down to Fujita and his weak-ass chops, but the crowd support was undeniable, even in defeat. The Zen Nihon Freaks will go ballistic if Ryo ever scores a pin on one of the Little Noojies. It must happen. ***3/4

Atsuki Aoyagi, Rising HAYATO & El Lindaman vs. Kaito Ishida, Kotaro Suzuki & Yutani

While most of these folks recently got to shine in the Junior Tag Battle of Glory, it was El Lindaman who stole the show here with his comedic vibes. This was also my introduction to GLEAT’s Yutani, a mysterious man armed with KENTA tribute spots and cool dives. Elsewhere, the Aoyagi/HAYATO team work looked tighter than ever – the duo finally landing that tricky pop-up superkick with 100% accuracy. Good times! ***1/4

Yoshitatsu, Sayaka Unagi & SAKI vs. Hikaru Sato, Kaori Yoneyama & Yuu

This had everything to be a hit. A stellar cast of Joshi guest stars. Special referee Black Menso-re. Yoshitatsu rolling up in Hikaru Sato’s dress. Unfortunately, they couldn’t quite replicate the magic of AJPW’s previous intergender adventures. The biggest issue was Hikaru’s cringey Hentai gimmick, which proved to be a poor replacement for the Suwama/Ozaki dynamic of the last matches. **3/4

Yuji Nagata, Satoshi Kojima, Mitsuya Nagai & Black Menso-re vs. Shuji Ishikawa, Cyrus, Ren Ayabe & Oskar Leube

The GOAT Mitsuya Nagai pulled a freakin’ Kawada Delayed Sell in the middle of a strike exchange with Oskar Leube. That’s how much this match overachieved. Just an absurdly fun romp where the makeshift giant unit once again laid waste to Black Menso-re (who hilariously revealed himself as the X participant). Even the Dads had their working boots on, what with Nagata slapping the daylights out of certified tall person Ren Ayabe. Highly appreciable undercard content. ***1/4

Yuma Aoyagi & Takao Omori vs. Minoru Suzuki & Hokuto Omori

Another match that went above and beyond the standard requirements of a throwaway undercard tag. After a lukewarm Carnival run, Hokuto was back in the MiSu sidekick role – a position that might suit him best for the time being. Yuma seemed happy to play with the old men and it led to a fine distribution of meat and potatoes. The level of work on this card tells me AJPW is deadly serious about making their Ota Ward shows proper Events. ***1/4

Naruki Doi © vs. Dan Tamura – AJPW Jr. Heavyweight Title

Perpetual Good Boy Daniel Tamura followed up his strong junior tag league run with this scorcher – a high-end title match where he not only kept up with Doi’s quickness, but also matched his cutting-edge execution. They expanded on the already strong foundations of their January match, kicking the Power vs. Speed dynamic several notches up the Dragon Gate Big Match Scale.

As with all these Doi AJPW outings, the man’s heel craftmanship proved to be the difference maker. This tiny bastard has such a strong sense of match flow and crowd control that he knows exactly when to punctuate story beats with his cranky trash talk. Tamura’s natural likeability was a perfect counterpoint and soon the entire place was belting out Dan chants.

Not that long ago, this lad was still struggling with the basics and here he was Danlocking his way out of Bakatare sliding kicks with Tokyo Dome-ready precision. A true career highlight for this wholesome rice farmer. Ultimately, we need more Naruki Doi bangers, but hopefully Dan will find a way to stay in the spotlight. ****

Manabu Soya vs. KONO

These former WRESTLE-1 pals decided to heat up their upcoming World tag match by giving us three stars worth of wrestling. The esthetic could be described as ‘’Beef’’ – both guys leaning into no non-sense power fighting. While no wheels were reinvented, I did appreciate the red herring of having TARU at ringside only to end the match with an abrupt SHOOT FINISH. Could this be the first step in me becoming a KONO Truther!? Stay tuned… ***

Suwama, Jun Saito & Rei Saito vs. Kenoh, Hajime Ohara & Hi69

Outside of some ill-advised Wada Dementia and a Jun Saito beatdown that went a bit long, this was exactly what it needed to be. The Kenoh/Wammer beef is so powerful that no amount of KONO can spoil the party. They brought physicality and hatred by the truckloads, blending super impressive chemistry with the looming threat of Kenoh possibly getting knocked the fuck out.

In this type of volatile setting, you couldn’t ask for a better partner in crime than THE MANBEAST Rei Saito. Raymond followed his breakthrough Carnival run with more great shit here – chopping, beasting and pouncing the invaders out of sight. Consider me voodoo murdered. ***1/2

Kento Miyahara & Yuma Anzai vs. Tetsuya Naito & BUSHI

Total blast of a match that lived up to the hype of a first-time confrontation between Kento and Naito. The appeal of these Miyahara dream match scenarios largely resides in Kento flexing his insane charisma in the face of much bigger stars and this was no exception. There’s something inspiring about the top guy of an indie-sized promotion (apologies to Giant Baba) coming off as a bigger deal than arguably the most popular wrestler in the country.

The other big story here was Anzai being treated like an actual star by the LIJ boys and absolutely killing it. You know you’re going places if Naito starts taking unnecessarily brutal neck bumps for your offense. Special guest commentator Yuma Aoyagi did a solid job explaining the underlying theme going into the finish – Los Ingo working better as a unit than Team Zen Nihon. Can we get more LIJ x AJPW? ***3/4

Shotaro Ashino vs. T-Hawk – Champion Carnival (Finals)

There we have it. Fellow barbershop enthusiasts and former WRESTLE-1 enemies Ashino and T-Hawk wrapped up the 2023 Carnival with a final worthy of your spreadsheet consideration. The match walked in the footsteps of last year’s final, giving us a Kento Miyahara-less epic that doubled as a star making moment for an underdog fan favorite.

Everything about this was designed to highlight Ashino’s babyface greatness and built towards his eventual triumph with peak Japanese wrasslin’ grandeur. All Japan’s vertically-challenged bruiser got chopped into a million pieces, fought back so hard that he literally broke his own arm and somehow lived to tell the tale.

T-Hawk. The Hawkster. Stephen Hawking. This man had his share of bangers during his part-time All Japan tenure, but rarely have his strengths being so clearly displayed. Working in sadistic heel mode, the Hawkman tore down the GOA leader and effortlessly juggled a wide array of explosive, big match set pieces.

Wrestling scientists will tell you that selling can make or break a match. While extremely annoying, these folks might be on to something. Ashino’s selling here channeled Toshiaki Kawada in all the best ways, as he tried to project toughness until it was no longer humanly possible. This led to one of the greatest Superplex no-sells you’ll ever see – fighting spirit stubbornness colliding with Oscar-worthy method acting.

It all came together in a red-hot ending stretch where T-Hawk – consciously or not, referenced a 90’s icon of his own. His manic desperation during the final ankle lock recalled the best Shinjiro Otani matches, those where all the little nuances and facial tics coalesce into an entire mountain of God damned drama. No matter what happens next, this will live on as a defining chapter of Ashino’s AJPW career. ****1/2