Hikaru Sato, Dan Tamura & Oji Shiiba vs. MAZADA, Rising HAYATO & Ryo Inoue
Coming off the NOSAWA Tokyo Dome retirement extraganza – a match where he didn’t get to do much of anything, MAZADA was ready to cook here. The Gurentai legend threw a dash of his comedic seasoning in this tasty OPENING BROTH, which also featured Independent junior champ Shiiba kicking the dogshit out of Inoue. Once Ryo fulfilled his babyface in peril destiny, HAYATO/Dan delivered one of their signature banger finishes and the good people of Maebashi ate it up with two spoons. This crowd is bonkers. ***
Takao Omori, Kotaro Suzuki & Black Menso-re vs. Yoshitatsu, Ryouji Sai & FUMA
You know you’re watching a special kind of All Japan house show when the Takao Omori 6-man reaches three stars. Much like the opener, every undercard warrior on deck was fired up and ready to wrestle professionally for the masses. The reptilian prankster Black Menso-re received an amusing amount of punishment at the hands of the make-shift Yoshitatsu Kingdom/Land’s End/Basara political alliance. FYI – FUMA looked and fought like a god damned Tekken character. The Undercard Cinematic Universe needs him back. ***
Shotaro Ashino & Ryuki Honda vs. Shuji Ishikawa & Ren Ayabe
Any aspiring wrestler looking to master the art of the 9-minute midcard tag should watch this match. I’m completely serious. Every piece of this wrasslin’ puzzle came together with such effortless COHESION – from the early establishment of the Size Differential Logistics, to GOA closing the gap by taking out Ayabe’s leg – which fed right into the giants’ comeback and eventual beef-tacular closer. Ayabe, who sold the leg like a freakin’ Happy Wrestling Land reader, pulled off the Kazuchika Okada turnbuckle dropkick at some point. It is time to put PEN TO PAPER and add another tall person to the roster. ***1/4
Yuma Aoyagi, Naoya Nomura & Atsuki Aoyagi vs. Koji Doi, Kuma Arashi & Andy Wu
Another big-time crowd pleaser where everyone worked twice as hard as they needed to. There was a wide-range of comedy here that will only be appreciated by the sharpest minds on Twitter. Yes, I’m referring to the opening shouting war between Aoyagi/Doi and the Kongo Pose shenanigans. Nomura, ever the raging dynamo, seems to be key to unlocking the greatness out of Koji Doi!? Their exchanges were top-tier and so were all the bits between Yuma and Kuma. Just plain fun. ***1/4
Kento Miyahara vs. Hokuto Omori
Before kicking off the Atsuki Aoyagi super push in 2022, AJPW threw the kid in a house show spotlight match against Kento. Are we about to see a similar arc for Hokuto in this year’s Champ Carnival? My visions of the future are strictly limited to UFO invasion scenarios, so I don’t have any answers for you. That being said, Omori fit into the Miyahara Banger Formula like a glove and looked ready to make some moves in the heavyweight division.
Kento took a similar approach to his Korakuen match with Ryuki Honda from last year, finding a healthy balance between Ace Domination and letting the youngster get some proper shine. The last few minutes packed a serious punch – Omori’s gorgeous suplexes clashing with Miyahara’s newfound lariat obsession. Shoutout to that delicious Blackout/Rolling elbow counter sequence. Once Hokuto sorts out his hair, we will have a new chef in this kitchen. ***3/4
Yuji Nagata, Yutaka Yoshie & Yuma Anzai vs. Suwama, Jun Saito & Rei Saito
God damnit, I love wrestling. This was the 2022 Vegetable Market main event on steroids, hometown hero Yuma Anzai fending off the Forces of Evil in a text-book Southern tag ODYSSEY – complete with rabid crowd heat and spectacular Suwama heel performance. There was also a G-EGGS reunion here, but it didn’t really matter.
This was all about Anzai taking a monstrous ass whooping and fighting back in epic fashion. I’m pretty sure Rei Saito uncovered the true meaning of wrestling during his recent battle with the young lions, because he looked positively TERRY GORDY-ESQUE here. Dude was beating the shit out of anything with a pulse and growling like a dangerous swamp creature. Hook it to my veins. ***1/2
