Beginner’s Guide to Japanese Wrestling Acronyms
NOOJ = National Organisation Of Jado
NOAH = Nippon Old Artistic Heritage
MUTA = Man Under Tremendous Attire
HWL = Happy Wrestling Liars
Kosei Fujita & Ryohei Oiwa vs. Yasutaka Yano & Taishi Ozawa
Did NOAH fans sit out this show or what? We got a shockingly pro-Nooj crowd here, with both Fujita and Oiwa getting loud chants right off the bat. The match fell in the same mold as the young lions’ recent trips to All Japan – all angry body slams and interpromotional hatred. You have to respect Yano for shouting out the teachings of Yoshinari Ogawa and basing half of his offense around hammerlocks. The dropkick comebacks were satisfying and Fujita once again came off as a natural born killer. ***
Tomohiro Ishii & Oskar Leube vs. Masa Kitamiya & Daiki Inaba
Gaijin sensation Oskar Leube is what Rick Ross would describe as a big motherfucker. He fit in seamlessly in this no non-sense slobberknocker between stocky men without necks. In terms of meat variety, the wrestling here had a clear preference for beef. Masa and Ishii went at it like Mirror Universe versions of the same reliable midcard enforcer and gave you the protein-based tropes that you crave – shoulderblock collisions, lariats and defiant no-selling. There was something undeniably charming about Leube instantly tapping to the infamous PRISON LOCK. ***1/4
Hiroshi Tanahashi, Toru Yano, Satoshi Kojima & Takashi Sugiura vs. Naomichi Marufuji, KENTA, El Phantasmo & Gedo
Despite the MaruKen reunion earlier this month, Marufuji remains too pure-hearted to indulge in KENTA’s Bullet Club shenanigans. This was the theme of this schtick-heavy midcard adventure – a true showcase for some of the more tired NJPW comedy tropes. Tanahashi admirably tried to heat up his upcoming match with KENTA, but the rest of the action landed in ELP Nipple Tweak Territory. Gedo selling Kojima’s machinegun chops by screaming HOLY SHIT was my personal highlight. **1/2
El Desperado vs. YO-HEY
Are you familiar with the scientific concept known as Maximizing Your Minutes? Well, these two certainly are. They had themselves a 10-minute burner crammed with energy and nerd-baiting subplots – the very definition of a good time. While I was initially suspect of YO-HEY and his 2001 CZW esthetic, the man has grown on me tremendously in the last few years and this was a perfect showcase of his best assets.
An ideal dance partner for Despy’s whip smart brand of wrasslin’, he walked the tight-rope between crowd-popping comebacks and attention to detail (aka. Selling The Leg). Meanwhile, Desperado remains the most underrated worker in the game – supplying the ingenious cut-offs and casually babyfacing YO-HEY in spite of the crowd’s Nooj-bias. Wonderful stuff. ***3/4
Tiger Mask, Ryusuke Taguchi & Master Wato vs. AMAKUSA, Junta Miyawaki & Alejandro
While this didn’t have the personality of previous matches on the card, it did have a lot of cool-looking, GIF-able moments. AMAKUSA’s Ralph Wiggum-style rotating tope is the best dive in wrestling at the moment and it’s not even close. Wrestling-wise, this stayed within the confines of the breezy junior sprint subgenre. Never quite memorable, but still completely acceptable as a midcard palette cleanser. NOAH’s pint-sized junior champ was a good match for Tiger Mask and made his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker look like white hot death. **3/4
Kazuchika Okada & Togi Makabe vs. Kaito Kiyomiya & Yoshiki Inamura
Someone should write an essay about Kazuchika Okada’s recent embrace of NJPW tradition. From the Inoki robes to the Octopus hold/Enzuigiri adoption, there’s a clear intent to connect with historical Nooj Lore in a way that we’ve never seen from him. This segment followed the same mind-set and gave us a full blown 80’s NJPW/UWF throwback. More angle than wrestling match, the IWGP vs GHC Champion Bar Fight came off like the biggest story in wrestling and the ballsiest thing New Japan has done in ages.
It built off the previous Kaito/Okada encounter in epic fashion and presented a convincing, leveled-up version of Kiyomiya – a version who will not take any shit from NJPW’s top star. How they follow up this story will decide the fate of Japanese wrestling in 2023. At worst, we get a darn good match at the Muto retirement show. At best, we enter a new golden age of interpromotional madness. ***3/4
BUSHI vs. Tadasuke
Beside some weirdly-timed, late-match floor shenanigans, this exceeded all expectations. Tadasuke’s Kodo Fuyuki-ISM awakened something primal inside BUSHI – the desire to defend your home promotion against invading weirdos. We can all relate to this human emotion. The Booshster traded his usual laid-back trickster vibes for cranky slaps and soccer kicks, go-to weapons for any practitioner of the BACHI BACHI wrestling subgenre. The match was low on filler and high on gnarly Tadasuke lariats – a winning combination and appropriate tone-setter for this LIJ vs. Kongo 5-match series. ***1/2
Hiromu Takahashi vs. Hajime Ohara
Wild ride of a wrestling match that saw llave expert Ohara overwhelm Hiromu with his superior technique. The tricked-out cut-offs and incessant submissions forced the IWGP junior champ in the underdog position – an inversion of the previous match, where LIJ found themselves in the aggressor role. No stranger to compelling babyface performances, Hiromu sold his ass off and made the outside opposition feel dangerous. They did such a good job building up the Muy Bien that Takahashi looked in genuine trouble when Ohara finally locked it in. Loved the way Hiromu gradually sprinkled his comebacks across the ending stretch, Ohara feeling like a threat until the last second. Wrestling! ***3/4
SANADA vs. Manabu Soya
Two guys with roots in All Japan and WRESTLE-1 duking it out on a NJPW/NOAH supershow. Insert tweet about pro-wrestling being crazy in 2023. The match didn’t reinvent any wheels, but the Power vs. Technique dynamic was extremely pleasing. Much like SANADA, Soya’s someone who circumvents personality limits by dedicating himself fully to a particular esthetic. In terms of his key offense here (Hashimoto-sized DDT, Death Valley Bomb with extra emphasis on Death, deadlift Vertical suplex) – all of it looked like the absolute best rendition of that specific move. Power wrestling to hang in a museum. They cooked some serious near-falls during the ending stretch and the crowd support for SANADA was lovely. ***1/2
Shingo Takagi vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima
When doing interpromotional business with Katsuhiko Nakajima, the question quickly becomes: who do you throw at this guy? Katsu is such a killer that you run the risk of geeking out your stars if you don’t select the perfect opponent. From a 2023 NJPW standpoint, Shingo was the only logical choice. The only dude on the roster who could not only match Nakajima’s Tough Guy Aura, but also exploit it to create pro-wrestling magic.
With Yokohama in a decidedly Pro-NJPW mood, Nakajima came off as a monster heel. Even his NOAH routine spots (looking at you: Turnbuckle Photoshoot sequence) felt fresh thanks to the crowd heat. Most importantly, Katsuhiko carried himself like a star and struck the right balance between wrestling his ass off and Being An Asshole.
The early placement of the Stomach Kick of Death was extremely clever and immediately set the tone. This spot usually comes later in a lot of Nakajima’s NOAH matches, but using it as an ‘inciting incident’ turned Takagi into the ultimate hometown babyface.
Shingo, being the kind of wrestler who can extract meaning out of every possible detail, went on a tear here. The man was selling, emoting, manipulating the elusive Big Fight Feel – just being the pure living embodiment of pro-wrestling. His exalted reaction at the forearm duel kickoff told you everything you needed to know about wrestling and LIFE ITSELF.
Every piece of the closing stretch puzzle came together with otherworldly execution. Shingo eating the full-force high kick to the face, Katsu’s glorious flip bump for the Pumping Bumber, the always-mystifying Made in Japan sequence. Best of all: Takagi having to desperately pull out everything but the kitchen sink to get rid of the invader. Pitch-perfect big match wrestling between two masters of the craft. ****1/2
Tetsuya Naito vs. Kenoh
The biggest challenge with this match was that it had to follow Shingo/Katsu. Likely aware that this would be a difficult task, Naito and Kenoh approached the Hometown Guy vs. Outsider story from a different angle. They leaned into a more traditional Big NJPW Match layout (Dueling Limbwork Subplots Into Bomb-Fest Finish), producing a slow burn rather than an instant classic.
If Nakajima took the serial killer route with his brand of villainy, Kenoh definitely took his cues from the straight-forward heel playbook – talking trash, mocking the Naito pose and generally Having No Chill. Performance-wise, this was double-edged sword. Kenoh’s character work was undeniably entertaining, but I always struggle to connect with Naito as a traditional babyface. Especially after such a fiery Hometown Defender portrayal from Shingo.
Looking at execution alone, the match worked. A lot of it came down to Kenoh, who kept edging the action towards a second gear by supplying large amounts of Cool Shit (ROLLING ANKLE LOCK ~!). For such a strike-oriented guy, he was also a shockingly-competent bumper/catcher for Naito’s high-difficulty signature spots.
What the match lacked in visceral drama, it made up for with straight bomb-throwing fun. The ending stretch packed a metric-ton of good content, including some pretty intricate counters for a first-time match up. Also, Kenoh sold the neck for the entire match. Can you believe this shit? ****
