Takao Omori vs. Masao Inoue
What do we have here? Shin Kiba 1st RING with Cheering Mode activated. Masao Inoue getting a hero’s welcome. Old man Omori chopping up his gout-infected carcass? Hold on a minute. My GPS tells me that we are officially inside Masao World. I am here to stay. **
Yoshitatsu & TAJIRI © vs. Izanagi & Black Menso-re – All-Asia Tag Team Titles
The wrestling connoisseurs of Tokyo waited a long time to chant for the two strongest disciples of the King’s Road lifestyle – Izanagi and Black Menso-re. Today, they got to do just that and it was mesmerizing. Now, I’m not going to pretend this was a match that will make you invest in Excel tutorials on YouTube. But the sheer magnitude of the babyface support for these masked dorks reaffirmed all of my deepest beliefs about the beauty of 2022 AJPW undercard wrestling. The gasps of disappointment that came with each TAJIRI heel cut-off!? That’s wrestling. ***
Atsuki Aoyagi vs. Ryo Inoue – Junior Battle of Glory
Last time we saw Ryo Inoue, he reintroduced himself as a Toshiaki Kawada-approved, kick-throwing little shit. The hints of greatness we saw in his match with Dan were taken to a new level here, Atsuki letting him show off his new schtick in front of a full blast Shin Kiba crowd. THUS, we got 5 minutes of Inoue blowing my mind by making the world’s smoothest ever transition from Young Boy to Kick Guy. 10/10 timing on all of your favorite kick spots, including a Big Match-ready PK off the apron. Shades of all your favorite kick guys. Please keep an eye on this kid. ***1/4
Hikaru Sato vs. Dan Tamura – Junior Battle of Glory
Former All-Asia tag champs. Evolution survivors. OPPONENTS!? The latest chapter in the Hikaru/Dan story made stellar use of this tournament’s 10-minute time limit and packed everything that you need from pro-wrestling: ass whipping, Selling of the Arm and most importantly: a lovable babyface overcoming a grizzled old vet. This may have been the longest sentence I’ve ever written and I’m not editing it. The wise fox known as Hikaru Sato laid this thing out like a god damned pro to highlight all of Tamura’s best attributes, namely emoting and courageous lariat-based comebacks. Dug all of it. ***1/2
Kento Miyahara, Rising HAYATO & Oji Shiiba vs. Jake Lee, Yuma Aoyagi & Hokuto Omori
Unhinged wrestling for an unhinged audience. Just a wild comedic romp that officialized the Atomic Drop Era of The Neutral Gentleman’s Jake Lee’s months-long transition towards babyface happiness. Lots of tailbone torment. What else? Well. Basically, a lot of wrestlers being extremely over and Kento Miyahara having normal reactions to it all. ***1/4
Shuji Ishikawa & Cyrus vs. Koji Doi & Kuma Arashi – Real World Tag League
AJPW: Where The Big Boys Play. This continued the show’s love-fest theme – all four of these big-boned lads getting massive reactions for their pleasing displays of beef consumption. They kept it simple, DoiKuma working from under until Cyrus’s insatiable thirst for ring-side brawling landed everyone in countout territory. Very 80’s All Japan. **1/2
Jun Saito & Rei Saito vs. Yuji Nagata & Yuma Anzai – Real World Tag League
A serious improvement over the October match between these teams. Shin Kiba once again came to the rescue and turned Anzai into a total babyface phenomenon. The kid is pretty freakin’ great already and these people know it. Southern tag wrasslin’ was the esthetic of the day, the Saitos mugging the super rookie in the lead-up to an Uncle Nagata hot tag. The key to success here was TARU’s notable absence, which streamlined the Saitos’ heel schtick and allowed them to stick to the more natural Big Dude Tropes. ***
Suwama & KONO vs. Shotaro Ashino & Ryuki Honda – Real World Tag League
The absolute best version of the 2022 Voodoo Murders/RAW is ZEN NIHON esthetic. Maybe what’s been missing all this time was simply some good ol’ fashioned booing? All of the cheating tropes worked well here thanks to the rabid fan reactions and GOA came off as can’t miss babyface heroes. It also helped that all four guys worked their asses off to make this thing work.
The Wamster was in the beastest of all Beast Modes and threw some of the most murderous lariats in recent memory. Top-tier head-ripping carnage. Meanwhile, Ashino and Honda (both are SO OVER) made a bunch of sweet comebacks and overcame the odds in dramatic fashion. By gawd. ***1/2
