The brief return of an audience’s noise during New Japan’s Burning Spirit tour stop at Korakuen Hall delivered one of their best shows in years, but when the tour ended at Kobe World Hall it was back to rhythmic clapping like the fans were just another pre-arranged piece on a predetermined show. Three IWGP title matches were planned for Kobe, featuring some of my least favorite New Japan wrestlers. Wait—
1. Shingo Takagi, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI vs. KENTA, Hikuleo & El Phantasmo
The Shingo/ELP rivalry continues: ELP attacked Shingo at the start of the match, Shingo pinned ELP at the end of it, and afterwards ELP kept asking Shingo “who’s your daddy?” while Shingo growled “I’m daddy!” back at him. In the middle, 7-footer Hikuleo went up for a suplex and managed to block KENTA’s book-shot. **3/4
2. Toru Yano vs. Doc Gallows
It wasn’t good, not in the moment and not on reflection. Also, how did Toru Yano overpower Luke Gallows enough to reverse his Irish whip? They both got counted out in under 4 minutes. DUD!
3. Great-O-Khan & Jeff Cobb vs. Bad Luck Fale & Chase Owens
Much respect to Fale and Owens for remaining gainfully employed during this odd New Japan time but they have to be one of the worst tag teams New Japan has featured in a while and have you seen some of the guys New Japan is OK featuring. Neither team has a defining characteristic so you’re left with some quiet and nondescript wrestling with few highlights, mostly because of Cobb’s nice dropkick and standing moonsault and ability to bodyslam Fale. **1/4
4. Tetsuya Naito & SANADA vs. Zack Sabre Jr. & Taichi
All these guys work really well together, though like any other match more noise could’ve helped. After some fooling and harassing by Taichi, he pulled up Naito by his tights to belly-to-belly him. A few minutes later he countered SANADA’s Japanese leg roll clutch by pulling his own pants over SANADA to keep him down for more than a 3-count. Taichi and SANADA traded masks after as some kind of perverted show of respect then Naito and ZSJ scrapped. ***
5. Kazuchika Okada, Togi Makabe & Tomoaki Honma vs. JONAH, Shane Haste & Bad Dude Tito
Bad Dude Tito wore a bright red 90s wrestling singlet that’s the perfect shade for HD cameras and threw some mean chops too. Like at Korakuen Shane Haste once again flexed his biceps to try and stand out, though it wasn’t as productive thanks to the lack of crowd noise and Tanahashi’s sculpted definition. The Okada/JONAH interactions (their rematch is at Sumo Hall in a couple weeks) were, uh… brief. **3/4
6. Tama Tonga & Jado vs. Jay White & Taiji Ishimori
Tama Tonga’s original partner KUSHIDA was sidelined before the show with Hand-foot-and-mouth disease, a mild virus that sounds and – based on experience with our 4-year old – looks pretty nasty. They powered through with Jado in his place, and while the original match didn’t sound like a classic this was probably lesser than what it would’ve been. Jado, somehow immobile from booth muscle and age, took a beating from the World and Jr. Heavyweight champs, then he tried to tap Taiji before tapping himself. The Switchblade/Tama exchanges were more robust than the Okada/JONAH ones but still pretty brief too. **1/2
7. IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Tag Team Title: Francesco Akira & TJP [c] vs. Ryusuke Taguchi & Master Wato
United Empire members Francesco Akira and TJP have matching wrestling tights now, which was almost the most notable part of this quiet and competent rematch. I say almost because for better or worse Master Wato is always good for something interesting now: here he hit an incredible More-than-Everest German suplex on Akira (new signature move?), then took a Kenta Kobashi bump off a Flatliner (though I don’t think it was on purpose). ***
8. NEVER Openweight Title: Karl Anderson [c] vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi
Karl Anderson is here! How about that? He was a big part of New Japan once: Bullet Club heater, Tag Team Champion, even made it to the G1 Climax finals once. He left for WWE when Nakamura and AJ Styles did in 2016, though in the last year he and tag partner Luke Gallows began working for New Japan again. The result? Anderson won the NEVER Openweight Title from Tama Tonga in May, Gallows had two singles matches with Toru Yano, and Anderson successfully defended the NEVER Openweight Title from Hiroshi Tanahashi here. A couple weeks later, Anderson and Gallows left for WWE again. None of this was good.
Tanahashi took a Gun Stun on the floor, endured a chinlock, hit a dragon screw leg whip – all in a day’s work. He hit Gallows with a dragon screw on the apron too, which Gallows took like crap but sold like death. Anderson caught Tanahashi with a spinebuster and Gun Stun for 2; Tanahashi applied a Texas Cloverleaf then hit a really pretty Sling Blade. Yano came out to stop Gallows’ interference, but he blew it and Anderson – leaving in a few days – retained the title. Just a barely good match.
After the match Hikuleo turned on Jay White to help Tama Tonga for a bigger pop than you could ever imagine. ***1/4
9. IWGP US Heavyweight Title: Will Ospreay [c] vs. David Finlay
After last year’s New Japan Cup and this year’s G1 Climax, this was Ospreay and Finlay’s third quality singles match together. It was their first for a championship, second main event, and I think their best match overall though an occasional lack of credibility kept it from reaching a peak at the end.
They delivered what the wrestling fan wants or at least says they want, a modern combo of heavyweight and junior style wrestling where stiff elbows, chops and headbutts are complemented by rapid rope-running, swanky counters and a mid-match Orihara moonsault. They brought the gimmicks too: Ospreay chucked a table at David’s head and David slammed a shillelagh on Will’s hand, the latter of which led to a mid-match bandaging of Will’s hand that kind of killed the vibe.
Finlay’s Acid Drop through two tables didn’t break them though a powerbomb did, and they brought the energy and athleticism for the finish that was highlighted by near falls and Ospreay doing a Pedigree to a silence more deafening than the one already present. ****
Happy Thoughts: New Japan has mostly figured out how to deliver wrestling shows with their clapping crowds but even their best ones are still mostly for the already initiated and most patient of viewers. This was not one of those best ones. Ospreay vs. Finlay was good, but not that good. 2.0 / 5.0
