Last week I walked up to the deli counter at Woodman’s Market and read a sign telling me the meats were all pre-packaged and pre-sliced now, a realization that – combined with the immediate gratification of seeing my two favorite meats up front – got me so happy and surprised I said “holy fucking shit” out loud.
Anyways, I turned 35-years-old last week and am watching Stardom.
In the middle of the 5-Star GP tournament, “Stardom x Stardom” came to the Dolphins Arena with a double main event highlighting the past vs. present. A couple days prior the more appealing of those main events was changed, a disappointment soothed only by the sweet and savory juices of Eckrich’s Hawaiian Ham.
1. Future of Stardom Title: Hanan [c] vs. Miyu Amasaki
If Hanan’s theme music doesn’t get your toes tapping then I’m sorry for whatever is preventing you from giving in to that joy. She traded elbows with Amasaki before taking control with a fallaway slam and Fameasser, the latter of which was called in all its’ English glory. Amasaki kept up but not enough to stand out, especially with just five minutes before a knee to the head. **1/4
2. Maika vs. Hina
One part inoffensive undercard match, one part safety hazard for two careers. Hina did a spinebuster where she kind of DDT’d herself somehow, and Maika’s finish — called the Enka Otoshi — looked like a side slam that they either quit on midway through or cooperated to make look as ugly as possible. **3/4
3. 3-Way Battle: Giulia & Mai Sakurai vs. Ruaka & Rina vs. MIRAI & Ami Sohrei
This seemed to end before it got going, though I don’t know if it was actually going to. Giulia’s evil castle entrance and commanding presence throughout the match was the best part of a 3-Way Battle that had some cool spots (like Rina’s backslide into jackknife cradle) but was mostly just noise. **3/4
4. Captain’s Fall Match: Mayu Iwatani, Saya Iida (c) & Momo Kohgo vs. Utami Hayashishita, AZM (c) & Lady C
Here’s a decent 10-minute 6-woman tag that had three pinfalls instead of one, which really kind of mucked everything up. Saya and C throwing down with elbows at the start was awesome; AZM going to the top rope then dropping down to save Utami from a pin was… mildly interesting. ***
5. Artist of Stardom Title: Momo Watanabe, Starlight Kid & Saki Kashima [c] vs. Mina Shirakawa, Sayaka Unagi & SAKI
NJPW’s El Desperado helped with pre-match introductions for this 6-woman tag that was a lot more straightforward than the last one, even with a trio of high-flying heels (to be fair, Momo did use a wrench). They packed a ton of action inside 11 minutes or at least didn’t have to force two other pinfalls in the middle and the solid match came off better for it. ***1/4
6. Goddesses of Stardom Title: Hazuki & Koguma [c] vs. Tam Nakano & Natsupoi
Tam Nakano and Natsupoi are a real-life tag team now, following an awesome Summer angle where they wrestled twice in three days (once inside a Steel Cage) and gained mutual admiration. Nakano showed that by acknowledging the young up-and-comer; Natsupoi showed it by turning on Giulia and becoming Nakano’s lieutenant. This is what we call professional wrestling.
As the next step in that story (and as a general wrestling match), this was great. Following pre-match introductions with NJPW’s Taichi and an entrance from the challengers that gave them freaking LED wings, Natsupoi stepped up to Koguma like she was trying to prove something. Everything. She spent most of the match either getting beat up by the champs or bailed out by Nakano, which built to an exciting finish that re-enforced the story, from Nakano screaming at Natsupoi to hit somebody to Nakano and Natsupoi finally finding the power to do double springboard planchas then go to the top rope, together, for a kneedrop and twisting splash. Hazuki & Koguma had a solid reign but their last defense was their best. ****
7. Wonder of Stardom Title: Saya Kamitani [c] vs. Himeka
Saya Kamitani became one of my favorite wrestlers after I started watching Stardom last year, and her scheduled challenger – Kairi Hojo, Kairi Sane, KAIRI – had been a favorite since she started in NXT five years ago. They were set to wrestle here but a couple days before the show, COVID protocols pulled KAIRI from the card. Her replacement was Himeka, who powered through with A) a wonderful “yep, I’m the replacement” look before the bell and B) a performance so good that it felt like The Replacement could actually win. That came from a combination of strength (shoulder tackles! bodyslams! suplexes!), a dastardly single-leg crab hold, and a counter of a Frankensteiner with a vicious powerbomb that dropped Kamitani on the back of her whole head.
Kamitani’s title match formula is just good stuff too; sometimes she’ll opt for a weird headscissors to the floor as a comeback but sometimes she’ll try to end an elbow exchange by just hammering Himeka in the neck – it’s the choices we make in the heat of battle. Usually it comes together into something a little messy but genuinely awesome, like this match here. Another successful defense seemed impossible until she countered an electric chair drop with a reverse hurricanrana and won. The choices… ****
8. World of Stardom Title: Syuri [c] vs. Nanae Takahashi
Nanae Takahashi is a joshi puroresu stalwart — legend! — who doesn’t occupy near enough acreage in this Happy Wrestling Land. She helped keep the scene relevant through quiet times, the last to hold All Japan Women’s top championship when they closed in 2006 and the first to hold Stardom’s when they opened in 2011.
Nanae was a veteran back then and it’s a decade later now: can she compete with the much younger and more active top dog in the sport? Most athletic endeavors would point to “are you kidding me?” but this is pro wrestling, guys.
This wasn’t as high octane as some of Stardom’s better main events in the last couple years, though Syuri’s title defenses have leaned more towards subtext over spectacular anyways. Nanae is both a pro and still pretty capable, plus she employed both a neck twist and cravate. In between the big spots it was hard not to feel Syuri slowing down to allow Nanae to keep up (and maybe just stretch the match out in general), though when it came time to close up it was her selling that brought everything together. A very good, slightly lacking, but overall pretty cool main event. ***3/4
Happy Thoughts: An exciting card on paper ended up with more misses than hits, though the top three matches were still very good. 3.5 / 4.0
