You already know me as one of the true experts in the field of Pure-O-Resew. Now, like Bowie in ’75, it is time to reinvent myself. For my next act, I will turn into a guy that watches random shit on IWTV. First stop on this midlife crisis trainwreck: beloved midwestern indie Black Label Pro. Am I smart enough to comprehend the subtleties of American wrestling? What is a Warhorse? Will the leg be sold? Let’s find out.
Anthony Henry vs. Tre Lamar
Kicking off the show with young Anthony Henry was a pretty decent way to ease me back into the wacky world of US indies. Japanese influences, shoot-y matwork and Rocky IV soundtrack – guy seems like my kinda guy. Early parts of the match had a clear Pro Wrestling NOAH audition tape vibe, but the later sections slightly fell apart execution-wise.
Rating: Two Kenoh’s Out of Five
Dan The Dad vs. Rohit Raju
In the realm of wrestling gimmicks exclusively designed to pop Wrestling Twitter, Dan The Dad is way up there. The action flew a little better thanks to a clear-cut heel/face dynamic – Raju’s TV-ready preening meshing well with Dan’s New Balance heroics. Big shoutout to the commentary team who sold the shit out of the Dan The Dad character and instantly turned me into a fan.
Rating: I laughed
Anthony Greene vs. Skye Blue
As ‘’Heaven Is A Place on Earth’’ rings out through this humble basketball gym, I can confirm that this show is batting 100 when it comes to entrance themes. Both of these RING WARRIORS recently popped up on AEW programming – a wise bit of B-show booking considering the intergender polish that was shown here. Greene leaned into the more villainous side of his 80’s rocker shtick, letting Blue get all the shine with wise-beyond-her-years babyface high spots.
Rating: FUN
Violence Is Forever (Dominic Garrini & Kevin Ku) © vs. Bang Bros (August Matthews & Davey Bang) – BLP Tag Team Titles
I got some powerful 2003 Ian Rotten Doing BattlARTS flashbacks while watching Violence is Forever. Two scummy indie dudes who watched a bunch of Tenryu matches and can now only express themselves via soccer kicks to the back. I’m into it. The regretfully-named Bang Bros were competent punching bags for the champions’ DVDVR-approved ass whipping. A good time at the matches.
Rating: Did what it had to do
Warhorse vs. Levi Everett
Pretty stunning adaptation of Pauly Shore’s cinematic vision (80’s heavy metal vs. Amish traditionalism), but only okay as a wrestling match. Everett knows how to put a wholesome, butter-churning spin on Godwinns-style wrasslin’ farm work – I’ll give him that. Meanwhile, Warhorse remains a bit of an Internet enigma – A+ entrance but not much else.
Rating: At least as good as Son in Law (1993)
Alex Zayne vs. Dante Martin
Dante’s recent Dynamite growth was on full display here as he struck a nice balance between classic babyfacing and MAD HOPS~! The readjusted springboard splash sequence was fucking incredible. Zayne might be on to something with his Spring Breakers-esque douchebag heel schtick, but his move-set feels like the most generic 2020’s indie grab-bag ever. V-Triggers, cutter variations, apron enzuigiri transitions all over the place. You know the deal. All whining aside, there was still a lot of fun to be had with this one.
Rating: Flippin’ good time
Chase Holiday vs. Alice Crowley vs. Kobe Durst
My most original wrestling opinion is that 3-ways are bad. So, while this didn’t do much for me, big boi Chase Holiday seemed like a dude I would enjoy in a different context. Throws a mean suplex and an even meaner chop. What else do you need from your wrestling? What ELSE!?
Rating: Clusterfucked
Leyla Hirsch vs. Kevin Blackwood
Without turning this review into a 3000-word tirade on intergender wrestling, I’ll just say that I preferred the approach in Greene/Skye. This was more of a straight-up back and forth and favored pure excitement over size difference logic and what have you. Totally does the trick for a live crowd, but I am not part of this crowd. No, I am in front of a computer screen with a notepad, crying angrily over leg selling. We are not the same.
Rating: Need to reflect on it for two more weeks
Rat Daddy vs. Travis Titan
If this match had been a tiny bit more memorable, I would be leading the Rat Daddy stan movement on Twitter right now. The man’s name is Rat Daddy. He’s from Australia. Comes out to a badass Pusha T song. Great fur coat. Even better hair. Sadly, I can barely recall any of the actual wrasslin’. They did moves and someone won.
Rating: Meh
Joshua Bishops vs. Brutus
These guys had the right idea. They did the hoss-fight thing with a lot of chops and meat consumption. Nothing fancy but it mostly worked. Negative: Bishops overestimated his own strength on a few spots and some of his offense ended up flopping. But you know what – it’s the thought that counts.
Rating: BEEFY
Tom Lawlor © vs. Matt Makowski – BLP Midwest Title
Holy mother of fuck. If you’re into the indie sleaze UWF/Bloodsport style of wrestling, this is the match for you. These fellas had themselves a long-form grapplefuck odyssey in a basketball gym and kept it compelling all the way through. They hit hard, rolled around on the mat like people with actual training and best of all: got creative at all the right moments. Makowski kept one-upping himself with all sorts of slick takedowns and Filthy Tom busted out next-level enzuigiri counters like he was main eventing the Tokyo Dome against Josh Barnett in 2003. So much cool shit near the end – what with the wacky top-rope suplex into cross armbreaker from Makowski. EAT YOUR HEART OUT, KENDO KASHIN.
Rating: Watch this shit
