Pro Wrestling NOAH used to be my favorite wrestling company in the world, but New Japan was just an easier entry point when I got back into all this Japanese wrestling business. The last cooperation I saw between them was incredible, but that was in 2004 and involved Jushin Liger (who’s retired) and Jun Akiyama (who’s running DDT??).
Years later I avoided the darker age of cooperation that saw Jado and Minoru Suzuki alpha-dog the entire company, but in the half-decade since NOAH almost literally picked itself up by its bootstraps and made something of itself. Old friends like Naomichi Marufuji, Takashi Sugiura and Go Shiozaki kept the ship steady as new heroes like Kaito Kiomiya, Katsuhiko Nakajima and Kenoh established themselves enough to where NOAH got brash enough to drop the trademark green ring.
To begin 2022, New Japan and NOAH are at it again. Following Wrestle Kingdom 16 Night 1 & Night 2 comes something new: Night 3. At the more intimate Yokohama Arena.
0. Kosei Fujita vs. Yasutaka Yano
The rookies will bring it more than anyone for these inter-promotional shows, an absolute razzing backstage promised with defeat. As they struggled over keylocks and wristlocks the individual styles of both companies were on display, Yano more emotive and lighter on his feet opposite Fujita who seems meaner and when in doubt hits a dropkick. He just stomps and stomps Yano’s poor head to put on a crab hold the struggle is freaking harrowing. Back up Fujita does another dropkick and another crab hold, which leads to another harrowing struggle that only ends when Fujita lets up a little because the bell rings for a 10-minute draw. ***1/2
0. Yuji Nagata, Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Satoshi Kojima vs. King Tani, Mohammed Yone & Akitoshi Saito
The Funky Express is an undercard trio dressed for disco made up of Shuhei Taniguchi, BattlARTS adjacent afro maestro Mohammed Yone, and Akiyama’s old partner Akitoshi Saito. Their entrance is a necessary experience, all the energy of someone who the Bar Mitzvah videographer just put the camera on. Before the match Tenzan stands before them in his 1997 Buffalo costume just disgusted with these jokers. Pretty standard wrestling match otherwise, though I watched Kojima’s lariat finish four times. **1/2
1. Tomohiro Ishii, Hirooki Goto, YOSHI-HASHI, Ryusuke Taguchi & Master Wato vs. Daisuke Harada, Hajime Ohara, Daiki Inaba, Yoshiki Inamura & Kinya Okada
Compared to either company’s normal undercard the level of energy in this match was cranked up to the point of culture shock, all of pro wrestling’s problems solved right here and now by way of fresh opponents. Hirooki Goto throws elbows with speed and intent and Master Wato throws kicks with fire and grace — really. Ishii and Inamura tag in and create a whole feud, and Team NOAH rallying each other as they tried to take down major star YOSHI-HASHI towards the end was good but also adorable. ***1/2
2. SHO vs. Atsushi Kotoge
Atsushi Kotoge seems like a decent high-flyer who looks like a scrubby SHO, which would be bad for him except SHO is now an scrubbier SHO. Heel SHO was trying faces out and the ref grab to spear spot was actually really well-timed, but then: a wrench. *1/2
3. HAYATA & Seiki Yoshioka vs. Taiji Ishimori & Gedo
HAYATA is a whole shroud of stringy-haired and 2003 CZW pants-wearing mystery, but Seiki Yoshioka earns my admiration when he enters sporting such a well-delivered disgust then becomes my new favorite by making a Taiji Ishimori & Gedo tag kind of good. Gedo lying on the mat with a chinlock applied is something that can and has defined a lot of matches, but here was Yoshioka with his high-speed rope-running and stiff kicks to introduce himself. He does a step-up curb stomp that’s wild on its own, but then followed it with a perfect Asai moonsault right after. Good wrestler! ***
4. El Desperado & DOUKI vs. YO-HEY & NOSAWA Rongai
NOSAWA is still NOSAWA, more power but same as where I last left off. YO-HEY, meanwhile, is outrageous. He and DOUKI have a few exchanges of indie scum invasion but this is, like most shows, The Despy Show. He’s one of the only guys in New Japan who is still regularly showing any kind of fury, so he was up to the task here of beating that competition ass. **3/4
5. Takashi Sugiura, Kazushi Sakuraba & Toru Yano vs. Minoru Suzuki, Taichi & TAKA Michinoku
Back when I watched as much NOAH as I could, Takashi Sugiura was a young and talented junior heavyweight who was going to take over the world if he wasn’t so short. Upon hearing he went on to take over the NOAH world as GHC Heavyweight Champion and top guy anyways, it brought pride to my heart — hold on, WHY is Toru Yano teaming up with him and this Kazushi Sakuraba-looking guy who just threw the weakest-looking jumping knee I have ever seen? The rest of the crew laid it in a little more and Sugiura vs. Suzuki was a treat, but this was 6-man filler of the mid-rangiest degree. **3/4
6. Go Shiozaki & Masa Kitamiya vs. EVIL & Dick Togo
Go Shiozaki wears NOAH green, back in the ring after missing most of 2021 with shoulder surgery. His partner Kitamiya is a classic dough boy with an incredible senton bomb. None of it matters because HEY THERE, FANS: it’s the House of Torture! Kitamiya’s big Saito suplex and the flex he does after applying the prison lock were late highlights, as was Go’s final “fuck this dude” lariat for Togo. **3/4
7. Naomichi Marufuji & Yoshinari Ogawa vs. Zack Sabre Jr. & Yoshinobu Kanemaru
This match was a major reason I wasn’t letdown when the card was announced, an honest-to-gosh NOAH dream match. Yoshinari Ogawa — still doing it — against Zack Sabre Jr. delivers the casually incredible European-influenced technical wrestling that due to each man’s gangly appearance has an extra whimsy to it. Marufuji and Yoshinobu take a turn at re-creating a magic I’m not sure they ever really had too, though they work hard for a match booked from nostalgia. Fun reunion special of a match and thanks to the rat something different from the norm. ***1/2
8. Tetsuya Naito, Shingo Takagi, SANADA, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima, Kenoh, Manabu Soya, Tadasuke & Aleja
Los Ingobernables de Japon moves on from the Tokyo Dome by putting on their best outfits and showing up united at Yokohama Arena for a 5-on-5 featuring each company’s bad boys. Katsuhiko Freakin’ Nakajima is All Grown Up and has grown into his natural menacing skin, while Kenoh is so cool it is literally influential. My first notes on their partners were this: Manabu Soya bulky boy with red hair who should be in G1, Tadasuke blonde guy with jacket and glasses, Aleja… mask.
After seeing so many crappy New Japan tags the last few years it was bittersweet to experience this beautiful match. Cards filled with tag matches is just how things are done in Japan, load management that keeps singles matches fresh. When most guys are aligned to a group it’s just easier to book too, a built-in conflict for any match… unless your groups and their conflicts get old and don’t change besides a splintering of the worst group. Then, outside of special cases, it doesn’t matter if the boys are working hard or not — they’re missing the juice!
This match, with its liveliness and aggressiveness and compulsory great wrestling sequences, ran nearly half an hour but had enough juice for more. It definitely setup more matches, or at least created demand for them. LIJ with new toys freaking thrived, Hiromu the sudden big league prick and Naito giving off a vibe all match of “ah, these poor guys.” Even SANADA was running wild, brother.
Shingo reliably goes hard but when looking amused by Aleja or taking a beating from Kenoh he is his most interesting self. Tadasuke goes in for the kill on him 25 in and for a brief moment anything seems possible — and then it does for a few more moments after Tadasuke kicks out of the Pumping Bomber. ****1/4
9. Kazuchika Okada & Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Keiji Muto & Kaito Kiyomiya
Even Golden Inoki-era Kazuchika Okada becomes his most interesting self when he can be a bully, a tyrant, a real jerk. Kiyomiya brought the fire against New Japan’s top two and had some great chemistry with Okada, but they could only get so much going given the physical capability of Tanahashi who wrestled a No DQ Match a few nights ago and Keiji Muto who is definitely still Keiji Muto. Man just always finds a way back. ***1/2
Happy Thoughts: The third night of Wrestle Kingdom 16 was the best night of Wrestle Kingdom 16 and the best New Japan show in years with good wrestling all over the card carried by a dynamic that was so straightforward it was practically accessible. Let’s go again! 4.5 / 5.0
