Back in 2020 when New Japan still rocked with concepts like momentum and ambition, January 4th‘s annual Wrestle Kingdom became a two-night event. On January 5th, Jushin Thunder Liger wrestled his retirement match and Tetsuya Naito finally won the big one. Then: the virus. And so on and so forth.
The two-night presentation continued in 2021 despite the wholly different world it took place in, and in 2022 the two nights turned to three in partnership with Pro Wrestling NOAH. These days.
At Wrestle Kingdom 16 Night 1, Katsuyori Shibata returned to the ring and Kazuchika Okada won his fourth IWGP World Heavyweight Title. Or a version of that title. I don’t really want to talk about it.
Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Wrestle Kingdom 16 in Tokyo Dome! Night 2.
0. Yuji Nagata, Togi Makabe & Tomoaki Honma vs. Bad Luck Fale, Jado & Gedo
“YA CAN’T BREATHE,” chortled Gedo as he looked over his incapacitated opponent. There might have been an attempt to up the energy for the Dome, but my word: it’s still Jado & Gedo. *1/2
0. Satoshi Kojima, Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Master Wato vs. El Desperado, Yoshinobu Kanemaru & TAKA Michinoku
This second of three pre-show matches felt as basic and negligible as any other until, suddenly: that goofball Master Wato hit a Tenzan Tombstone Driver! But then he missed a dive and got speared by Desperado. But then he caught Desperado in a submission! But then Desperado escap– no… but then Desperado tapped out!!! Master Wato (blue hair, average master) begins 2022 getting eliminated by CIMA in a New Japan Rumble then submitting the IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Champion. **
0. Shingo Takagi, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI vs. Taichi, Zack Sabre Jr. & DOUKI
Hiromu began this either mocking or earnestly wanting to play along with Zack Sabre Jr.’s technical professional wrestling, and for a few minutes they brought some high-quality pre-show action. Hiromu/Taichi is pretty fun too, then DOOK fires off a few sweet dives before getting put down. After a pair of big losses, Shingo and Hiromu rock on. ***
1. 3-Way Match – IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Tag Team Title: Robbie Eagles & Tiger Mask IV [c] vs. Ryusuke Taguchi & Rocky Romero vs. Taiji Ishimori & El Phantasmo
Can’t decide if Rocky Romero or CIMA is the craftiest professional for pulling off a 2-night stay in the Tokyo Dome in 2022, but so much respect to both. Half of this match is pushing or past 40 but they still pulled off a fun high-speed opener, even compared to the embarrassment of riches New Japan used to possess for these junior tags.
Robert Eagles was the belle of the ball, another really impressive performance from him. He hit a springboard plancha kitty corner across the ring and springboard frankensteiner, two spots that both looked spectacular and put a stop to some dumb thing ELP was doing. The finish is shockingly amazing too, not for a bunch of near falls but because Eagles actually pulls the steel plate out of ELP’s boot and ELP gets kicked out of the match. ***1/4
2. Stardom Special Match: Saya Kamitani & Tam Nakano vs. Mayu Iwatani & Starlight Kid
They got right to work like they only had 10 minutes and in getting all their shit in delivered a quality cliffnotes of the Stardom experience with more clapping than your average undercard. Mayu in particular seemed to relish in popping the Tokyo Dome with spots, and after Saya hits a particularly wild Firebird splash Nakano is right there filled with pride. ***
3. 4-Way Match – KOPW 2022: Toru Yano vs. Minoru Suzuki vs. Chase Owens vs. CIMA
The KOPW championship. What’s going on here? Some kind of favor? Something for the boss? CIMA walking the Wrestle Kingdom ramp with T-Hawk and Lindaman at his side showing off GLEAT t-shirts was an incredible sight to witness, as was a bewildered handcuffed Suzuki after the match ended. Otherwise, this sucked. *
4. NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Title: EVIL, Yujiro Takahashi & SHO [c] vs. Hirooki Goto, YOSHI-HASHI & YOH
This had the similar hard work and energetic pace of last night’s undercard; it was just in a feature spot and for a championship so it’s, like, complicated. The House wins. ***
5. SANADA vs. Great-O-Khan
Besides the Great O-Khan doing a pescado, this felt as cold as it did when first announced. It’s a little better than SANADA’s G1 run last year but a lot lesser than O-Khan’s, and each guy exits the Tokyo Dome in pretty much the same spot. **3/4
6. Tetsuya Naito vs. Jeff Cobb
Tetsuya Naito, ungovernable and in black jacket. Jeff Cobb, still loading. His vertical suplex to the post then floor with an Oklahoma Stampede modification and his vertical suplex to gorilla press slam were very cool, very impressive. They had a solid and occasionally impressive match that felt a little lesser than among so many similar matches and third from the top at Wrestle Kingdom. ***1/4
7. No DQ Match – IWGP U.S. Heavyweight Title: KENTA [c] vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi
I regret to inform you that Hiroshi Tanahashi did not do much to re-invent the hardcore match format. Tanahashi delivers a Sling Blade on a pile of chairs and takes a falcon arrow through a table, but this didn’t feel like much beyond a lesser-than semi-main event.
Until that goddamn ladder. KENTA has to leap off a very tall ladder — not as an attack on Tanahashi, but because Tanahashi was trying to push the ladder and it wasn’t budging. Poor KENTA absolutely bites it on the bump, then to make matters worse Tanahashi follows up with a High Fly Flow off the ladder through a table that shatters on impact and leaves him a crumbled and bloody mess. ***
8. IWGP World Heavyweight Title: Kazuchika Okada [c] vs. Will Ospreay
I’ve liked a lot of Will Ospreay matches if not the Will Ospreay presentation (not to mention the Tweets), and the presentation hasn’t been helped by him returning to New Japan after a gap year in the U.S. acting like a budget Jake Paul if Paul was promoted as the best pro wrestler in Japan. The Sasuke Special countered with a tombstone, moonsault off a steel pillar, and the crowd’s delight for that final Rainmaker were good classic Tokyo Dome spots but the substance was missing in between.
Both parties seemed to lose the plot while Ospreay was missing and what resulted was Shingo getting shafted and Okada’s re-coronation coming in the form of, like, a 2018 Johnny Gargano match. They had a sub-serious and punier variation on what Okada just did for over a half-hour the night before, and even that was beginning to feel repetitive. Good match, inadequate show-ender. ***1/2
Happy Thoughts: Night 1 had three great matches follow a consistent undercard (and Shibata!), while Night 2 went up and down and ended with Ospreay. It was lesser than. What both nights did share was they overcame the abnormal and unmoving nature that post-Covid New Japan usually gives off, and they rightfully placed The Rainmaker back on his throne. 4.0 / 10.0
