Twenty minutes into Money in the Bank, it hit me: that warm and fuzzy feeling. My 3-year-old son was laughing as he tried to do the most humongous jumps on the bed and on Peacock TV, a sea of people were waiting for ladies to fall off of ladders. I was home.
The feeling didn’t keep as the night went on: son went to bed, and sometimes WWE really is just waiting for people to fall off of ladders. It was back by the time the show ended though, mostly because the return of John Cena had me nearly doing the most humongous jumps myself.
Welcome back to what is on occasion the greatest show on earth. Not tonight. Not often. But on occasion.
0. SmackDown Tag Team Title: Rey & Dominik Mysterio [c] vs. The Usos
The Usos square off with Rey Mysterio and his actual son, who appear from another dimension — you cannot mess that up, and they did not. They kept it conservative for the Kickoff show, but Rey, Jimmy and Jey are three of the most reliable guys in the history of wrestling (in ring, in ring!) and Dominik busted all his Rey-but-slower spots (which are still pretty cool).
Extra cool moments included Jimmy jumping on the apron in front of Jey to take a 619 and Rey leaping full speed into a superkick, a pair of masterclasses in timing and making a crowd go nuts. Of course they pulled off some great near falls, and of course the Usos got the first This is Awesome chant post-Thunderdome. ***1/4
1. Money in the Bank: Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi vs. Nikki ASH vs. Liv Morgan vs. Zelina Vega vs. Natalya vs. Tamina
Sometimes, especially now, wrestling is about people reacting to stuff. I don’t expect WWE to do an amazing job milking the excitement of returning crowds (and they have not!), but I can’t not ignore the dumb fun in hearing who is still over after all this time. If Fort Worth is any indication, WWE should invest in Liv Morgan, Naomi, and Natalya. Maybe the tag titles are enough for Natalya.
Asuka got a total Road Warrior pop too and went on to be one the bright spots of a completely and utterly normal Money in the Bank match. She or Naomi brought the occasional energy boost and the folks were biting (reacting!) on Liv as an underdog, but in between powerbombs on ladders the people were sort of just waiting for more powerbombs on ladders. In a way that’s reacting.
Nikki ASH’s victory was a feel-good open to the show, though it did happen by way of a finish that made everybody else look like a total dumbass. Oh yes. We are home. **3/4
2. RAW Tag Team Title: AJ Styles & Omos [c] vs. The Viking Raiders
What could’ve been a match in a “tough spot” ended up quite the “hoot” as “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles and those Viking Raiders were fired up and did some quality work together that ensured this wasn’t just about Omos doing a gorilla press slam to Ivar — though that was cool too. ***
3. WWE Title: Bobby Lashley [c] w/ MVP vs. Kofi Kingston
Rare is the WWE match that delivers actual feels, though it’s unfortunate those feels are more often than not ones of a freezing bleak reality. In what felt like a more tragic version of Lesnar/Cena from SummerSlam ’14, Kofi Kingston got a few moves in before Lashley stopped him short, shushed the crowd, and tossed his ass around the ring. After six or so minutes, Lashley hit the Dominator three times and won the match. Let it be known to anyone who skipped the Thunderdome era: this is not the guy pointing to his ass cheeks; he is the WWE goddamn Champion. ***
4. RAW Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley [c] vs. Charlotte Flair
Ripley and Charlotte had one of my favorite matches of the empty arena era at WrestleMania 36 and it’s really been nothing but turds from them since, including the last few months of this repetitive rivalry that resulted in WE WANT BECKY chants as the match kicked off.
Enter Big Match Charlotte. I can’t deny it. Instead of flopping under pressure or even worse having a safe and mediocre match, she flipped the crowd off and went to work with the talented Ms. Ripley. They hit hard and bumped big and Ripley’s unbelievable recovery on a deadlift suplex flipped out a crowd that was already biting when the Queen told them to. An action-packed finish not only made the Becky chants feel like distant past but re-affirmed these two as real championship wrestlers. Having a good match is cool, wrapping an unconvinced crowd into your good match is even cooler. ***3/4
5. Money in the Bank: Drew McIntyre vs. Kevin Owens vs. Big E vs. King Nakamura vs. Riddle vs. Ricochet vs. Seth Rollins vs. John Morrison
Here is the best Money in the Bank in years and it’s not just because the crowd was fired up after Ripley/Flair and to pop for all these big names. I mean, it’s a little because the Money in the Bank match hasn’t had a great reason to exist in years. But it’s mostly because some of wrestling’s most extraordinary talents got to the point and kept the hits coming, trying to make the most of each participant.
Big E became the match’s babyface by striking first with a spear through the ropes, Rollins and Nakamura emerged from hibernation with tremendous performances, and I’m mixed on who was the better high-flyer: Ricochet or John Morrison. Towards the end Kevin Owens decided everybody still hadn’t gotten their money’s worth and did a swanton bomb off a very tall ladder through the commentary table. They embraced the chaos but didn’t try too hard – let’s just ignore the mid-match kidnapping. ***3/4
6. WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns [c] w/ Paul Heyman vs. Edge
Here’s a match that did try too hard. At the very least they could’ve tightened this buddy up. They spent 15-20 minutes trying to build out something special when both Ripley vs. Charlotte and Kevin Owens jumping off a ladder showed much better ways to do that.
Roman has had quality Universal Title defenses with plenty of WWE’s best wrestlers, but in front of a crowd versus dad-era Edge it just kept feeling like they were tacking on too many eras of WWE main event: stalling then arm work then bumps through the barricade then attempted murder then run-ins from the Mysterio Family then counters and finishers, or something in that order. You’d think two guys who use the spear as a finisher would know the value of getting to the point.
It picked up with one of those counters — the very slick backslide by Edge out of a Superman punch from Roman — but some messy interference from the usual suspects kept the match from even closing up strong, which is what these matches rely on so you forget how boring all the early stuff was. It was a match by two guys who are over unless they need a sustained reaction to their 33-minute one-on-one match. **1/2
On occasion WWE does know how to move on, and after Edge got sent packing to a SummerSlam feud with Seth Rollins the familiar horns of John Cena’s theme song hit and that jolly green giant ball of energy burst his way back into WWE like literally nobody else on the planet can. A sea of people was electrified on Peacock TV and my 3-year-old son was fast asleep but damnit there it was: that warm and fuzzy feeling. He was home.
Happy Thoughts: Good vibes, hard work, and John Cena. The opener and closer didn’t hit, but the rest of the wrestling was consistent if not occasionally frustrating. WWE, back on the road… 3.5 / 5.0
