Aaaaand we’re back to empty arena wrestling because life is pain.
Izanagi vs. Black Menso-re
This was a very normal wrestling match were reptilian prankster Black Menso-re spent an inordinate amount of time working over the Third Eye on Izanagi’s mask. I can’t decide where this strategy lands on the heel/babyface chart. Was Menso-re trying to shield Izanagi from the interdimensional horrors hiding in unseen planes of our reality, or was he preventing him from experiencing true psychedelic bliss? Let me check with Joe Rogan and I’ll get back to you. *3/4
Koji Iwamoto, Dan Tamura & Francesco Akira vs. Yusuke Kodama, TAJIRI & Hokuto Omori
Less cosmic questions were asked here, but the wrestling was better. Total Eclipse cut the ring half like the dastardly villains that they are and the babyfaces courageously bounced back. Iwamoto remains the best House Cleaner in wrestling. Seriously, this man will clean the shit out of your house. Hokuto and Kodama breaking out a new team finish could mean they’ll be hooking up in the junior tag league. **1/4
Takao Omori, Yoshitatsu & Ryuki Honda vs. Yuma Aoyagi, Rising HAYATO & Atsuki Aoyagi
These guys figured out that the ultimate secret to empty arena wrestling is being loud as fuck. Scream at your opponent, scream at your partners, scream at SOCIETY. Anything to fill the void, baby. Also, never stop moving. If you do, the momentary serotonin rush provided by professional wrestling will wear off and you’ll be left staring at the COVID abyss. These guidelines apply to both pro-wrestlers and Captain Lou readers. **1/2
Shotaro Ashino vs. Shinjiro Otani – Champion Carnival
I don’t know who they planted in the ‘’crowd’’ for the tournament matches, but thanks to these dorks, this show just turned into a party. Hearing people call out wresters’ names at a Japanese wrestling show in 2021 felt completely revitalizing. We took this shit for granted and now we must painstakingly earn it back. Like Ashino had to earn old man Otani’s respect by getting chopped, slapped and facewashed into oblivion. You could tell the SUPLEX MASTER was having a blast here. Just working off that fake crowd energy and bringing the fight to a balding legend. The Fujiwara armbar fake out drop-toe-hold INTO ankle lock might’ve been the best Ashino sequence from this entire tournament. Rad wrestling. ***1/2
Shuji Ishikawa vs. Kohei Sato – Champion Carnival
Twin Towers COLLIDE~! Pretty much the gritty ass stomper you wanted these two to have. Lean and mean structure with subtle Sato babyfacing and less subtle hardway headbutts to the god damn skull. Big Shuj went after those juicy Kohei Sato ribs like your dad at a family BBQ, providing solid ground work to build upon with extra layers of shit kicking. Meanwhile, Sato keeps embracing minimalism to the fullest, making the most out of very little. The man has the most satisfying Falcon Arrow in all of wrestling and the one in this match was an all-timer. Kinda on torn on the ending. Would’ve like something a little more impactful, but I also can’t help but marvel at the audacity of a Kohei Sato La Magistral finish. ***1/2
CIMA © vs. Hikaru Sato – AJPW Jr. Heavyweight Title
What seemed like a mismatch on paper turned into total show stealer thanks to two great performances. Funnily enough, the layout borrowed a lot from Hikaru’s matches with CIMA’s former Dragon Gate pal Susumu Yokosuka. Super-focused double limb work chess duel with a lot of selling and intricate counters. CIMA’s personality added another layer of fun here – his ‘’aw shit’’ reaction in the opening when Hikaru put up his shooter stance was pure gold.
Tons of creativity and big-time blockbuster moments throughout the ending stretch. Absolutely lost my shit for Sato rolling through the Meteora into an ankle lock. The whole thing just felt so much more engaging than any of CIMA’s previous AJPW appearances. With the junior belt seemingly circling right back to Iwamoto, I’m not sure what was the point of this reign, but at least we got this very cool match. ***3/4
Zeus vs. Jake Lee – Champion Carnival
Hope you like the yellow stuff on your hotdogs, because this bad boy came with EXTRA MUSTARD. There’s an uneasy chemistry between these guys that I find weirdly compelling. Jake’s new attitude enhanced their usual lack of cooperation and both guys seemed to lay their shit in about 25% harder. They divided the match into three acts (Jake heel domination, Zeus revenge back work, back and forth brutality), each section providing enough Content to sink your teeth into.
Lots of fun little hooks like the guillotine choke/Bear hug suplex counter, the Zeus Bow and Arrow (!) and Jake selling his back during the final throwdowns. They really beat the hell out of each other in those last minutes – murder lariats and stomach-churning knee attacks all over the place. One of the Dark Gentleman’s stronger CC showings. ***3/4
Suwama vs. Kento Miyahara – Champion Carnival
Probably my favorite empty arena match since Big Wama/Ashino from last year. A proper battle of the Zen Nihon Top Two with the elusive ‘’big fight feel’’ coming through even in a crowd-less environment. Kento was forced back in the babyface protagonist role for the first time in ages and it added some serious depth to his performance. Great balancing act between his selling/fighting from underneath and maniacal Psycho Ace Kento facials on the comebacks.
They structured the match very similarly to the Wamster’s tournament match with Aoyagi – Suwama destroying the ribs after the cornerpost backbreaker and just trashing the hero with suplexes. There was more drama here because Miyahara’s stature brought some actual doubt to the outcome. And they milked every drop of that sweet drama with all of the big match main event tropes that you crave: sweaty fighting spirit forearm wars, extended top-turnbuckle Superplex struggles and various head-droppy power-ups.
I need to mention real quick that Miyahara’s mid-spin Blackout counter to Wama’s discus lariat might be my favorite modern All Japan spot. Just brilliant. The character work and layout were so strong that they were able to leave a lot of Wama’s biggest bombs in their back pocket and still end the match on a high note. Loved all of this. ****1/4
