Maybe the Castle they were Attacking was the championship lineages along the way.
1. Satoshi Kojima & Hiroyoshi Tenzan vs. Will Ospreay & Jeff Cobb
Can we kick the Forbidden Door wide open already so I don’t have to watch Will Ospreay and Jeff Cobb tag up ever again? I’m glad Will got a shiny new jacket but the United Empire or Undisputed Empire or whatever needs to settle on both an aesthetic and just… approach to their wrestling matches. Where’s the chemistry?? What is the thing they are even going for? This isn’t exactly a TenKoji tag classic of the past, but maybe it is. They don’t overstay their welcome, everyone gets their shit in, and the crowd is delighted when they win. ***
2. Kazuchika Okada, Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano vs. Jay White, EVIL & Chase Owens
Ishii sells the ribs here like New Japan was irresponsible to even put him out there. The match is kind of a night off for everyone, though if it wasn’t for Ishii and Jay I’d say last night was too. Yano does tricks, Ishii does counters, Okada taps Owens. Jay White might be good now, even if he has a potty mouth. **
3. IWGP Tag Team Title: Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa [c] vs. Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI
Camacho has a potty mouth too; everybody is just swearing up a storm again? YOSHI-HASHI getting beaten down to an uncomfortable degree is an ideal setup for a tag team match, though the closing sequence ended up based around kickouts from Tama and Tanga. They were close near falls, but I can’t say the drama “got me.” The Guerillas of Destiny continue their reign. ***
4. NEVER Openweight Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi [c] vs. Great O-Khan
This is a rock solid championship match, one to appreciate for the babyface energy of Hiroshi Tanahashi and the different approach O-Khan brings to his matches. He’s dancing to the ring, screeching on chops, stretching out Tana’s back in the corner, and tossing him all over with unique suplexes. The guy is part mob boss, part weirdo — and right now that works for me, even if he’s not flipping everybody out in-ring right now. Tanahashi sells, fires back with an especially well-delivered Sling Blade, and escapes with a rollup win. ***1/4
5. 3-Way Match – IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Title: El Desperado vs. BUSHI vs. El Phantasmo
This just didn’t work for me, brother. We might need to call off the Triple Threat Match for a year or so, just to give everybody a chance to think about the approach to it. This was… fine, I guess, but it’s 23 minutes in search of a flow and I don’t think they found it. El Desperado still rules. *3/4
6. IWGP Intercontinental Title: Kota Ibushi [c] vs. Tetsuya Naito
Some matches rely on character and story; some just go full tilt in an effort to maybe not win but create a force so crazy that it doesn’t really matter. Here’s the two crazies that dive deepest into the latter, though sometimes to their detriment. I lost it for their Wrestle Kingdom match, a five-star classic that delivered on both insanity and quality. This bled more into the former, but was still fun — like an epilogue to that match. They began all respectful and before you know it appeared to be trying to murder themselves. A wonderfully fun if not slightly forgettable match. ***1/2
Happy Thoughts: TenKoji won, everybody was swearing, El Desperado challenged ibushi.. this show was wild; it was also pretty good. 3.0 / 5.0
