I might have seen the tendons of a muscle here thinking about sending a message to a foot in order to provide the kick in the ass WWE desperately (always) needs, but no kick yet besides Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan being two of the best wrestlers in the world.
0. Fatal 4-Way Match – Winner Enters the U.S. Title Match: Ricochet vs. John Morrison vs. Elias vs. Mustafa Ali w/ Retribution
Keith Lee’s last-minute scratch from the card made way for this Fatal 4-Way Match comprised of guys who were probably just around, though it also kind of felt like I was watching the same four guys wrestle each other too. Weird. Ali and Ricochet reminded everybody they can go for a few minutes, then Morrison won after interference. *3/4
1. Elimination Chamber – Winner Faces Roman Reigns for the Universal Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn vs. Jey Uso vs. King Corbin
This was filled with too many quality wrestlers to not be good, and so it was. I mean, more fun than good. I don’t know if prime Mankind could’ve figured out a way to make a 2021 Elimination Chamber in the Thunderdome “GOOD” — I’m kidding, he could’ve. There were good bits here though, great even: Daniel Bryan and Cesaro were #1 and #2 and had themselves a great match within this one, Cesaro doing pull-ups from the Chamber ceiling and a one-legged giant swing while Bryan casually had brilliant exchanges of wrestling with everybody.
Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn have done Bayley and Sasha-level work using the Thunderdome to revitalize their careers too – that man Owens headbutted a pod! They had to practically kill him to lose, and not before he did a moonsault off the Chamber pod that was so beautiful I swear he turned into a swan man during it. Sami’s just a blast to watch too, coming full circle as a heel goofball that works within the confinements of this insane wrestling palace. Bryan vs. Jey to close up was strong work from strong wrestlers, but why? ***1/2
2. WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns [c] vs. Daniel Bryan
Ah. Well. For 90 seconds, Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan (and sure, Michael Cole and Corey Graves) delivered. Bryan lasting from #1 in the Chamber to win the match then getting wrecked by Reigns is an awesome angle that probably could’ve been spread out a little more from the announcement of Edge vs. Reigns for WrestleMania immediately after. Like how they spread out the Royal Rumble decisions a month. I don’t know. Either way, YesLock transition ever. N/A
3. Triple Threat Match – WWE U.S. Title: Bobby Lashley [c] vs. Riddle vs. John Morrison
There was a Fatal 4-Way Match to setup a Triple Threat Match and both of them involved John Morrison, which feels like a mistake. I wish this was more Bobby Lashley wrecking Riddle and John, less Riddle and John doing their goofy bullshit. **1/4
4. WWE Women’s Tag Team Title: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler [c] vs. Sasha Banks & Bianca Belair
Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks can go and here they occasionally did, but it was mostly Nia and Shayna working over Sasha’s arm and I think everyone’s had enough of that. The tag titles match before the Bayley turn was great, but I’m still waiting for Nia and Shayna to do anything else. **1/2
5. Elimination Chamber – WWE Title: Drew McIntyre [c] vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Here are the mechanics of the Elimination Chamber, folks. Steel. Pods. Wrestling sequences. Kofi Kingston checking behind his back. Jeff Hardy doing something questionable. Randy Orton. It was all just fine, but Randy vs. Jeff in the first sequence with Randy doing two (two!) chinlocks was certainly a vibe of a wrestling company confident that everything is fine. **
Bobby Lashley laying out Drew to setup The Miz (finally) cashing in Money in the Bank was fun if only for something newsworthy actually happening in WWE. Still could’ve closed with the Edge thing.
Happy Thoughts: I really liked the Universal Title Chamber match, but everything that happened was too passable to recommend. 3/10
