After last night’s New Beginning in Hiroshima, let’s hope this one‘s a new beginning! Heh heh. Spare me your ordinary HUMOR.
1. Taichi, Zack Sabre Jr. & DOUKI vs. Yota Tsuji, Yuya Uemura & Gabriel Kidd
The young lions think twice tonight and don’t attack the other Suzuki-gun trio before the bell, though Tsuji stares eyes through Taichi with as much intensity as Uemura was throwing at Suzuki last night. I can’t tell if Tsuji is just gonna end up kind of tall and clumsy like Nakanishi was, but we still got plenty of fun from Nakanishi.
Taichi, recovering from both Iron Claw psychosis and going 30 minutes with the Guerillaa of Destiny, still seems a little possessed and is extra stiff with the boys. Uemura takes a few hits, then Kidd tags in and nearly shatters Zack’s world with a few well-times cradle near falls before Zack taps him out. Like yesterday’s match, a good dynamic for an opener and a few spots where the kids really shined. **1/2
2. Tomoaki Honma, SHO & Master Wato vs. Minoru Suzuki, El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru
Honma and Suzuki as equals here trading spots was a real weirdo move, but they’re both so grizzled and decrepit that it kind of just worked. Honma ends up getting beat up for most of this, and when El Desperado comes in there is a POP.
SHO and Despy have a fun exchange, then everybody gets their stuff in and Wato struggles to do a rollup on Kanemaru but damnit he does it, kind of, and gets the win. There are Desperado/SHO and Honma/Suzuki showdowns afterwards – are we in the multiverse? *3/4
3. Tetsuya Naito, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI vs. Yujiro Takahashi, Taiji Ishimori & El Desperado
What happens when the guys who just kind of fuck around meet the guys whose thing was kind of already that? I dunno, not much. Hiromu brought the energy at the end and the crowd enjoys seeing Naito, even if he is slowly trading moves with the “Tokyo Pimp.” **
4. Kazuchika Okada & Toru Yano vs. EVIL & Dick Togo
4a. Kazuchika Okada vs. EVIL
This ended up over in 90 seconds when Okada went all EVIL on EVIL and started a brawl, but… then Okada challenged EVIL! New Japan’s stubbornness sometimes works because when they do weird stuff like this it actually stands out, but the match was still just five minutes and ended in a double DQ or something. So it goes. *1/2
5. NEVER Openweight Six-Man Tag Team Title: Tomohiro Ishii, Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI [c] vs. Jay White, Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa
Counterpoint to matches not needing to go so long: sometimes when there’s six guys in the match, 27 minutes is used appropriately and flies by. What was true yesterday is true today: CHAOS can do those triple-teams, man. The bulk of the match was YOSHI-HASHI taking a beatdown and Switchblade was a compelling prick while the Guerillas of Destiny aren’t the Midnight Express but are a lot more interesting laying beatings in on such a helpless babyface. Throwing down with Tomohiro Ishii is clicking Jay White into something special too.
Tama whips Loa into an incredible shoulder tackle on YOSHI as they begin to close up, and everybody moves around in harmony until YOSHI manages to keep Loa in a rollup for 3 seconds. New Japan tag team wrestling is alive and well, but it’s in the 6-man tag division. ***1/2
6. IWGP Heavyweight Title & IWGP Intercontinental Title: Kota Ibushi [c] vs. SANADA
These two should be best buds, not opponents. Their G1 Climax 28 match was spectacular, G1 Climax 29 match was a blast, and G1 Climax 30 Finals were good but lacking. Now we’re here.
Ibushi and SANADA are good at wrestling, even if there’s plenty of GIF snippets of SANADA out there that could convince you otherwise. They’re good at different styles, being athletic freaks of nature, and making the people scream with excitement. Watching both of them rise up in the wrestling industry, especially Ibushi, has been a legitimate joy. Part of that joy had to do with the promise of what they could do if they broke through and became top guys though, and now… we’re here.
And it’s just – well it’s good. We’re not seeing the different styles showcased, new feats of athleticism performed, or much in the way of intensity… we’re seeing Kota Ibushi and SANADA do the New Japan main event thing. And they’re good at wrestling. And it’s good. Good is better than a lot of other wrestling out there, but look at Kota in the image on this post. That knowing smirk, like: I made it. Time to relax, motherfuckersssss. Good for him, but my thought is that no one really needs to see this.
They gingerly trade holds, as gingerly as they did last night, and as is custom, they begin to awkwardly counter suplexes before SANADA drops Ibushi with a hanging neckbreaker and goes to — well, not town, but maybe on the way to town — on his neck. Like he stopped to see a friend or something. He hits a Kamigoye, and goes for… well, not a kill, but maybe a light shove with a flight of stairs nearby. It seems like there’s more spots planned out than attempts at drama, and what they do plan out is occasionally fun but I can’t tell you if the sloppiest parts of this are bad or just part of the charm at this point.
Ibushi blocks a Japanese leg roll clutch with his bare hands, escapes from another outrageously close to 3, then Kamigoye’s the back of SANADA’s (cold) skull before ending him with one to the face. Ibushi and SANADA are like the Rob Gronkowski’s of wrestling, well-liked because they’re just so gosh dang likable but just so frustratingly casually chasing greatness. ***
Happy Thoughts: The 6-man titles match is worth checking out and this was just a better and more well-rounded show than last night, though last night was really bad. 5/10
