A series of unfortunate events brought us here, two nights of wrestling building to a Jay White heavyweight title match. I like Jay White, I think Jay White has performed well in the role – but why are we watching two nights of wrestling building to a Jay White heavyweight title match?
The business… it keeps changing.
1. Final 4 Wrestle Tomorrow – New Japan Rumble
This went from amusing mess to absolute soul-sucking tragedy, a 35-minute journey into the pits of purgatory that I didn’t even think they would be airing in the first place. The show starts at 1AM, I said! It’ll be fun, I said! It ended up peaking at the Ishii (#2) and Suzuki (#3) showdown, all due respect to DOUKI. The RAMBO is usually alright, but the silent crowd combined with almost no coordination from both the wrestlers and production team made this terrible.
Yano (#20) ended up lasting to the Final 4 without entering the ring (ha) to setup the worst possible 4-Way Match against BUSHI, Bad Luck Fale, and Chase Owens. Owens couldn’t even make a bit with Ishii and Suzuki work and here he is lasting from entry #1 to the winner’s circle – shame. DUD
2. BOSJ Winner vs. Super J Cup Winner: Hiromu Takahashi vs. El Phantasmo
Oh man, El Phantasmo. He does some cool stuff (that quebrada!) but it’s combined with so many bits that even if they get things vibing every five minutes or so the match doesn’t really come together. There is being a modern heel and then there is just being a boring guy. They closed it up like champions with some incredible kickouts and counters and I dug Hiromu having to pull out a flash win, but the journey there wasn’t really on the level. ***1/4
3. IWGP Tag Team Title: Taichi & Zack Sabre Jr. [c] vs. Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa
Despite going up against the worst Superman punches of all-time, the Dangerous Tekkers are SO good at wrestling no matter the scenario. They pull off a big semi-dramatic tag match despite a quiet crowd, they play the ultimate babyfaces when that shouldn’t make any sense, and they make the Guerillas of Destiny look like the baddest dudes around. Taichi got the people moving more than Hiromu! Not amazing, but a fine match. And here’s another Guerillas of Destiny Tag Title reign. ***1/4
4. IWGP U.S. Heavyweight Title Contendership: KENTA [c] vs. Satoshi Kojima
Seeing another grand Satoshi Kojima entrance in the Tokyo Dome followed by an entrance from KENTA who has finally found himself after all these years made me feel a certain kind of thing. Despite the usual stretch of boring KENTA offense, this was a good simple match and in 2021 that kind of thing will usually help out a card. Kojima throwing a lariat to block KENTA’s briefcase shot was incredible, as were his woozy bumps for both the Busaiku knee and GTS at the end. ***
5. Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Great O-Khan
The Great O-Khan is an absolute FREAK for his entrance here, no bells and whistles just a man waving his arms around like he wants you to remember him. The match was good, a great Tanahashi Tokyo Dome babyface performance with O-Khan providing all kinds of spice – mostly in the form of scowls and Mongolian chop-based offense, including one that blocked Tana’s skin the cat.
One might call this a deliberate and credible match, another maybe boring. O-Khan isn’t a made man yet, but it was a good big match performance and definitely a lot better than the Tanahashi/White match a couple years ago. ***1/4
6. Kazuchika Okada vs. Will Ospreay
AEW takes The Elite, New Japan takes… the Librarian? I don’t know what Will and his Empire are going for just yet, but he pretty much worked this like most of his recent matches and going 35 minutes in the Tokyo Dome that was probably the right choice. This was a fun match, but it took a while to get moving and didn’t move exceptionally well when it did.
Ospreay has adapted well to New Japan heavyweight, though New Japan heavyweight has been trending more junior heavyweight for a long time anyways. I just didn’t see much here that helped it stand out from the usual New Japan main event match, and I would think that was always the promise with Willy.
The New Japan Review in 2021 is a weird thing: it’s a given sometimes there will be excellent chemistry, crazy bumps, and an impressive use of a long stretch of time. This had the added elements of Okada finding his mojo, Ospreay stepping up, and Okada’s attempts at making the Money Clip cobra clutch a thing finally paying off in Rainmaker exhilaration. It’s a competitive market though. ***3/4
7. IWGP Heavyweight Title & IWGP Intercontinental Title: Tetsuya Naito [c] vs. Kota Ibushi
Then there’s something like this. Take it as a starting point there was excellent chemistry, crazy bumps, and impressive use of time. At just over a half an hour I actually kind of appreciated how tight they kept it.
There was more though. These two have reputations for how balls out they are willing to go, which made for fun matches in the past that could have easily taken their rivalry to a place that couldn’t be topped. Here they had to deliver the Naito & Ibushi Show at the Tokyo Dome for all the titles and though it was a tough sell going in it felt like the right match as it happened and that’s praise, folks.
Naito controlled early to keep the crazy kid (how is Ibushi 38??) down, and when he took his first neck bump on the apron it actually felt like Ibushi finally just caught him. Goes without saying the rana off the apron to the floor with Naito’s ankles crashing into the guardrail and Ibushi’s landing on the first Destino were GNARLY.
Lots of wrestlers throw elbows each other while they’re on their knees, but it’s only times like this that it feels right. This was the balls out, crazy wrestling that Naito and Ibushi promise but it also balanced just being quality, memorable, incredible main event wrestling that cemented Kota Ibushi as The Guy in New Japan… maybe. *****
Happy Thoughts: Technically this was good, but it was a little long and a little eh. Everything but the Rumble was good, but if you’re crunched for time only the last two matches are worth watching. 5/10
