Mohammed Yone, YO-HEY, Seiki Yoshioka & Hajime Ohara vs. Yoshiki Inamura, Junta Miyawaki, Kinya Okada & Yasutaka Yano
Fun opener between DISCO THROTTLE and the children of NOAH. Yone fit in unsurprisingly well with the Throttlers’ dorky energy. Having all the youngsters on the same team was a nice treat as well. Why not throw all of these guys under Kaito’s tutelage and go full Super Generation Army 2020 with this thing? Other highlights: Yano’s spunky energy, Junta’s nifty lucha armdrag and the wild stereo dives from Yoshioka and YO-HEY. **1/2
Kotaro Suzuki & Salvaje de Oriente vs. Tadasuke & Haoh
Turns out Kotaro’s mystery partner was a Red Hot Chilli Peppers loving luchadore by the name of Salvaje de Oriente. Other than the botch that nearly ended Haoh’s life, he seemed allright! They kept a fast pace from bell to bell and everyone got a chance to shine. The Cleaner 2.0 Tadasuke denying the crowd his Jumbo Tsuruta OOH spot got a laugh out of yours truly. **1/2
Masa Kitamiya, Manabu Soya & Nioh vs. Kazuyuki Fujita, Kendo Kashin & NOSAWA Rongai
There have been more memorable Kongo/Sugiura-gun showdowns, but this still did the job. The clear highlight was the Fujita/Soya section. Two burly beefsters charging into each other like a pair of bulldozers. I also quite liked the finish. Kashin spent all of the match in heelish troll mode but then made sure to remind you of his grapplefuck mastery with that rolling cradle into V1 kneelock. Klassic Kendo. **3/4
Keiji Muto vs. Shuhei Taniguchi
Well, this could’ve been a lot worse. They had the decency to keep it on the short side (13 minutes) and the action flew reasonably well for a 2020 Keiji Muto match. Very submission-based early on, with Muto showing some welcome variety in his holds instead of taking one of those long Figure 4 naps. They structured the back end of the match around signature spot counters and there were some surprisingly inspired moments from both guys. Big Shuhei cutting off the dragon screw attempts with his winding headbutts was fitting of this lumbering hoss. ***
Daisuke Harada & Atsushi Kotoge © vs. Yoshinari Ogawa & HAYATA – GHC Jr. Tag Team Titles
Very similar to the Momo No Seishun tag title win from last month. All the strengths of the previous match were still in place: a strong babyface in peril segment with the heels wrecking Kotoge’s arm, tons of cool double-teams from the Osaka boys, everyone playing the familiarity card to the max and pulling off tricked out counters. Like that first meeting, it also felt too long and unfortunately, the absurd repetitiveness of the GHC junior tag title booking is starting to completely damper my excitement for these matches. Why even do the whole Momo No Seishun reunion angle if you’re just gonna switch the belts back to Stinger a month later? Huge missed opportunity to revitalize the junior tag title scene. ***1/4
Kenoh © vs. Kaito Kiyomiya – GHC National Title
A worthy new entry in the lovely rivalry between these two fine young men. We’ve reached the ‘’let’s try wild new shit’’ chapter of their story and I’m happy to report that it was a great success. They built the early stages of the match around Kenoh trashing Kiyomiya’s back but rapidly moved into the cutting-edge NJPW 2.0 counter wrestling craziness that they’re so good at. Kaito seemed particularly intent on refreshing his big match repertoire here and all the new additions were awesome. Loved all the tricky kneebreaker reversals that led to the completely unexpected KNEEBREAKER DEATH-PLEX.
Off the charts intensity for the ending stretch, with the clap-only Yokohama crowd reacting big time to all the twists and turns. Kenoh brought the pain with kicks, Kaito furiously fought back with dropkicks to the god damn face. They tried to cripple each other like true NOAH warriors and did a good job laying out the finisher kickouts to avoid overkill. PS – Can’t get enough of Kaito using the Jumbo/Akiyama-style jumping knee as a late-match move. Already excited about their next match. ****1/4
Takashi Sugiura & Kazushi Sakuraba © vs. Naomichi Marufuji & Masakatsu Funaki – GHC Tag Team Titles
Such a fun novelty match. From the entrances (M’s Alliance SUPER VALET JURINA MATSUI, motherfucking Chono crashing the party) to the dream Saku/Funaki confrontation, this was pure star-studded fan service excellence. The wrestling mostly hovered around a solid level, but there were enough hooks and intriguing clashes of style to keep me on board all the way through. Sugiura fearlessly incurring the wrath of Funaki by slapping the shit out of him and thus setting himself up as babyface in peril for the majority of the match was a real galaxy brain move. Also marked out for the Shirtless Saku/Marufuji chop war that set up the finish. Sakuraba stepping out of his comfort zone to embrace the inherent silliness of pro-wrestling is one of the coolest things in wrestling right now. ***1/2
Go Shiozaki © vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima – GHC Heavyweight Title
There you have it, folks. It took some initially-eyebrow raising booking (AXIZ breakup, Kongo Katsu) to get there, but there’s your NOAH MOTY. I’d hate to make 2020 NOAH’s crowning achievement all about NJPW, but this felt like the kind of blockbuster main event I would stay up all night to watch on New Japan World back in 2017-2018. Just the highest stakes possible: physically ravaged Ace Go Shiozaki putting the company’s top prize on the line against his former best friend/husband Katsuhiko Nakajima in a 40-minute fight to the death. Peak professional wrestling.
The lingering post-breakup tension and ridiculous levels of violence made it easy to forget all of this was unfolding in front of a muted, clap-only Yokohama crowd. Not only did these guys beat the living hell out of each other, but their rich history and enthralling heel/face dynamic made everything captivating. Not your everyday slug-fest. Nakajima went after Go’s bad arms like a starving velociraptor and Shiozaki did what he does best: sold and fought back with the passion of a true Kobashi disciple. The man is the most sympathetic character in Japanese wrestling right now and it’s not even close.
Both were clearly aware of the importance of this match and they made sure to pay tribute to the previous NOAH epics of the past, notably with that bonkers Captured suplex off the apron and the ode-to-Kensuke/Kobashi never-ending chop vs. kick showdown. They did all of these things in an organic manner, rather than in a pandering ‘’wink wink the nerds will get it’’ fashion. That being said, if you’re a fucking nerd like me, you likely appreciated the callbacks to the N-1 finals with Katsu going into stomach-kicking murder mode and Go using a mix of Misawa/Kobashi offense to mount his final comeback because he’s some sort of reincarnated King’s Road DEITY.
Look, I was even fascinated by the near-fatal top-rope rana botch. The way they recovered from it with the lariat on the floor showed just how advanced these guys are. Total masters of their craft. When Go kicked out of the Vertical Spike, forcing Katsuhiko to replace his shit-eating grin with a more concerned expression – I felt alive. When Go couldn’t cover after the Moonsault because of the arm pain, I thought to myself ‘’Yes, this man understands pro-wrestling’’. When Go had to methodically knock his former soulmate the fuck out with a thousand murder lariats in order to pick up the win, I knew I had witnessed one of the best matches of the year. ****3/4
