Welcome, everybody! To the 34th annual Survivor Series! The annual extravaganza! The Thanksgiving tradition! Tonight, we – oh, we don’t really do that anymore? Just the Best of the Best tagline then. Alright.
0. Dual-Brand Battle Royal (Featuring: Rey Mysterio, Dominik Mysterio, Murphy, Jeff Hardy, Elias, The Miz, John Morrison, Shinsuke Nakamura, Apollo Crews, Kalisto, Dolph Ziggler, Robert Roode, Shelton Benjamin, Cedric Alexander, Ricochet, Humberto Carrillo, Angel Garza and Chad Gable)
On top of a blatant lack of responsible pandemic measures, this was useless. RAW and SmackDown’s mid card rosters, somehow both overused and underutilized at the same time, killed time before a few minutes of potential from Dominik and Gable. Then The Miz won. I love The Miz, but where is The Miz taking us? *1/2
1. RAW vs. SmackDown Elimination Match: Team RAW (AJ Styles, Braun Strowman, Sheamus, Keith Lee & Riddle) w/ Jordan Omogbehin vs. Team SmackDown (Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens, Jey Uso, King Corbin & Otis)
Like the Battle Royal – so many wrestlers, so… not much. You can’t expect WWE to pull off a NJPW vs. UWF 10-man tag, but it’s a bummer seeing them not even try to take advantage of the cool things a 10-man tag can be for the last decade plus.
ThunderDome actually provided a more straightforward presentation, with a match structure that didn’t feel so messy as Team RAW pulled off a clean sweep. Otis throwing down with all the big boys and and Jey Uso getting things going at the end were highlights, but like all the other 10-man tags this was more a forgettable missed opportunity than anything worth checking out. ***
2. RAW Tag Team Champions vs. SmackDown Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods vs. Street Profits
OH that Street Profits promo. That’s an example of setting a tone, and the match was an example of delivering on that tone. It was a match between two tag teams excited to wrestle each other but more excited to beat each other, and because they are all so very talented they pulled it off.
They did the usual exciting PPV tag team match that Kofi & Woods can do in their sleep now, but with the added flavor of Kofi & Woods playing bully veterans. They nailed it. All the high spots hit extra nasty and the finish was awesome, though I still think the best part was Dawkins all fired up to simply lockup with Woods at the start of the match. ****
3. U.S. Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion: Bobby Lashley w/ MVP, Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander vs. Sami Zayn
How did they both make Sami Zayn look like a chump AND make it boring? At some point it’s just impressive? *1/2
4. RAW Women’s Champion vs. SmackDown Women’s Champion: Asuka vs. Sasha Banks
I enjoy watching Asuka and Sasha Banks wrestle and them against each other is a good match, but the Best of the Best gimmick only works if you’re REALLY selling you want to be the best and I’m not sure they got there. They went hard but it didn’t read like they had a lot more to say together. ***1/2
5. RAW vs. SmackDown Elimination Match: Team RAW (Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler, Lacey Evans, Peyton Royce & Lana) vs. Team SmackDown (Bayley, Bianca Belair, Ruby Riott, Liv Morgan & Natalya)
Messy pro wrestling sequences, then some quick eliminations, then a cute countout finish that made Lana the sole survivor. Bayley and Belair are prime time but this stunk. *3/4
6. WWE Champion vs. Universal Champion: Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman
This had me ready to go after Drew shoulder tackled right through Roman, only to quickly settle into boring chinlocks and lame barricade spots for a while… a while… while… while…
…and then Drew TOSSED Roman to escape the guillotine choke and they pulled off a closing sequence that made me think that maybe – just maybe – they wanted to be the Best of the Best. The clink sound that Drew’s boot made off of Roman’s head when he countered a spear with the Claymore was awesome. The match was still really boring for a while. ***1/2
The Undertaker’s Final Farewell
It says all I can say that I don’t have much else to say about The Undertaker, a very good wrestler who for over a decade reigned supreme as the ultimate “he still wrestles?” guy. That’s not a knock; that speaks to the staying power and name recognition
But while he’s still been around, WWE has gotten remarkably little out of it. Instead of great rivalries and promos, we got…. marketing opportunities. We got t-shirts and Mania Moments and now this cameo choo choo train in the ThunderDome.
Maybe one day I will take a look back at all the great rivalries and promos, but for now I’m just tired of it. Rest In Peace, Undertaker. Seriously.
Happy Thoughts: There was some good wrestling here but for a company that often jumps the shark this felt like an even bigger leap. The Undertaker Farewell was as empty and generic as the angles usually are, and if Roman isn’t involved there isn’t much of an interesting direction to come from any of this. It’ll go on anyways. 4/10
