Keigo Nakamura vs. Hideki Okatani
Very cool that these two got a spot on the card. They seemed a bit nervous at first but quickly settled into the ever-reliable young boy wrestling dynamic that they’ve been exploring all year on the undercard. Okatani has the height advantage and Akiyama mentorship, while Keigo has the high-flying edge and dorky underdog energy. You should know the drill by now if you are a true DDT aficionado. It’ll be interesting to see if these kids stick to a straight-forward wrestling approach in the future or take a turn for comedic madness. I could see Nakamura playing both fields. **1/4
Hiroshi Yamato & Hoshitango vs. Mizuki Watase & Yukio Naya
I get how tempting it must be to play the nostalgia card on these supershows, but this would’ve been so much better with anyone else in Hoshitango’s spot. The guy could barely get through a shoulderblock exchange with Naya. Yamato and Watase still managed to work a pretty decent finish together and I’m not gonna pretend like I didn’t mark out for X-Expert Yamato using an X-Version of the Minoru Suzuki reverse takedown/sleeper combo. X marks the spot, baby. **
Shunma Katsumata vs. MAO
If you’re into toy death match wrestling and flippy people doing flips, then this is the match for you. I was hoping for something less gimmicky between these two, but they still managed to grab me with their aerial excitement and dumb lego bumps. Due to the very notion of time being completely warped by COVID, it feels like MAO’s been gone for years. It was good to see him back in action and it seems like the office might have plans for him, because wrestlers rarely win post-injury comeback matches in Japan. I still have the same love/hate relationship with the guy as I had before his injury. His comedy tropes don’t always land with me but then he’ll effortlessly pull a springboard Phoenix splash and blow my mind. Fun times. ***
Danshoku Dino vs. Akito
Sometimes, wrestlers tell a story by working over a guy’s leg. Other times, they kiss each other a lot, wear diapers and end up losing matches by accidently shitting themselves. This was less on the technical side and more on the shitting side. A lot of storytelling layers to unpack, with the compliance department coming down on Dino in the pre-match package and forcing him to wear a mouthguard to tone down all the rape, only for Akito to push him to embrace his true form in all of its inappropriate glory. That’s what wrestling is all about. *1/2
Kazusada Higuchi, Yukio Sakaguchi & Saki Akai vs. Toru Owashi, Naomi Yoshimura & Kazuki Hirata vs. Mad Paulie, El Lindaman & Nobuo Shimatani vs. Super Sasadango Machine, Makoto Oishi & Antonio Honda – 4-Way 6-Man Elimination Match
We are deep inside the non-sense heavy portion of the Ultimate Party undercard right now. Although everything seems pretty bleak, there is an Akiyama/Takeshita match at the end of the tunnel. We must soldier on. Like Antonio Honda had to soldier on when he was unable to complete his dad joke in the opening of this match. Like the Juggalo Juggernaut Mad Paulie had to soldier on when he realized Sasadango was not, in fact, his biological father, but only a backstabbing traitor. We must all soldier on. I’m feeling very vulnerable right now. *3/4
Shinya Aoki © vs. Sanshiro Takagi – Weapon Rumble – DDT Extreme Title
A powerful morality play about the dangers of sliding into people’s DM’s on Twitter. Just don’t do it, man. It’ll come back to bite you in the ass during the Weapon Rumble. The Weapon Rumble that is LIFE ITSELF.
HARASHIMA & Naomichi Marufuji vs. CIMA & Soma Takao
Having CIMA in a high-profile pseudo dream tag like this is always beneficial. This man had a hand in laying out the craziest Dragon Gate multiman tags imaginable, so he knows a thing or two about spicing things up. While there wasn’t much story going here other than Soma finally getting a big win, there were a lot of nifty, well-orchestrated Big Tag sequences. CIMA breaking up the Somato with a Meteora and the stereo from-corner-to-corner dropkicks quickly come to mind. I also liked the dynamic between the two junior legends on deck. The Strong Hearts godfather and Marufuji kept mugging at each like a couple of old carnies, which I appreciated a lot more than their attempt at a Maru/Kenoh style kung-fu dodging sequence. I’m curious to see what happens next with Soma now that he’s found some sort of success by reverting back to his BIMA roots. ***1/4
Chris Brookes © vs. Yuki Ueno – DDT Universal Title
This had a few too many hiccups to reach the proper next level, but I still quite enjoyed what they put together. Both guys fell into natural roles: Brookes as the dominating, heelish champion and Ueno as the high-flying babyface fighting from underneath. The Ueno shoulder injury added some structure to the early sections of the match and had some swell payoffs, namely that wacky top-rope Russian legsweep into ground Octopus from the champ. I’ll always take the Brookes limb work match over his harcore-ish spot-fests as everything feels a lot more focused.
The action peaked with Ueno’s big comeback and slightly fell apart before the actual finish, but maaaan did I dig that big run of offense from Yuki. Fearless Orihara Moonsault into missile dropkick to the god damn neck INTO picture-perfect Half-nelson suplex hold. Beautiful! And yeah, I loudly cringed at that hammerlocked WR of death. I am 100% here for this Ueno title run and bringing out MAO as a first defense is an extremely inspired booking decision. ***1/2
Konosuke Takeshita vs. Jun Akiyama
A wonderful match that was both faithful to the 5 months long Junretsu/All Out feud and yet completely unlike anything we’ve seen before in the buildup. They went back the core themes of the story: no-bullshit physicality, generational tension, indie vs. major leagues. But they also slowed down the rapid-fire bursts of action of their tag encounters and took their time to lay out a sprawling epic.
After Takeshita committed the ultimate sacrilege (bodyslamming ‘’Mr. Floor Bodyslam’’ Akiyama on the floor), the veteran decided to methodically put the young Ace back in his place by dismantling his leg. Takeshita made this work brilliantly by selling his ass off, bumping like a maniac (BIG YIKES @ that apron dragon screw) and bringing loads of emotion to the table. In short, he helped make Akiyama look 20 years younger and turned him into a monster threat.
Take’s attempt at fighting back by throwing classic All Japan moves at Akiyama was the best kind of Puro nerd fan service, but in the end he couldn’t take out the legend. Old man Akiyama spitting up blood and mercilessly pummeling Takeshita with a barrage of stiff knees is an image that’s gonna stick with me for a while. You do not fuck with this man. The commendable attention to detail from Takeshita and time-defying Big Match Jun performance made this one of the best 2020 offerings from DDT. Sign me up for the rematch. ****1/4
Tetsuya Endo © vs. Daisuke Sasaki – KO-D Openweight Title
Who would’ve thought Cyber Fight had the funds to get Shawn Michaels to agent the Ultimate Party main event? I can’t decide if this was an earnest tribute to overwrought NXT main events or a parody of them. The legit incredible post-match Shuji Ishikawa karaoke reconciliation bit hinted at parody, but before that they did go 27 minutes and had a ‘’I’M SORRY I LOVE YOU’’ type finish. Now, if you have a thing for 2020 Naito/EVIL-type main events riddled with clunky interference and Russo swerves, those 27 minutes will be just what the doctor ordered. Unfortunately, I can’t really deal with this shit anymore so I didn’t have the best time. That being said, I can’t deny the level of effort and chemistry that went in some of the actual wrestling bits. Sasaki crashing and burning on that ill-advised table spot, the perfectly executed death movez, all the tricked out Crossface reversals. There were a bunch of cool GIF-able moments spread throughout, but the match struggled to hold together as a whole. ***
