We’re leaving together,
But still it’s farewell
And maybe we’ll come back
To earth, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame
We’re leaving ground (leaving ground)
Will things ever be the same again?
It’s the final countdown!
The final countdown!
1. Hirooki Goto, Tomohiro Ishii, YOSHI-HASHI & Toru Yano vs. Taichi, Zack Sabre Jr., El Desperado & DOUKI
El Desperado and DOUKI were removed from their packaging to join these six other fellas recovering from the craziest schedule in sports (at least as long as COVID keeps McMahon locked down). Ishii vs. Taichi is becoming a can’t-miss pairing and it has struck me that in the midst of Okada’s struggles with the Money Clip, all of CHAOS has some kind of bandage on them. After some solid but completely basic undercard wrestling, DOUKI gets the pin on YOSHI-HASHI – pretty shit way to pat a guy on the back for a G1 well done. **
2. Shingo Takagi & Hiromu Takahashi vs. Minoru Suzuki & Yoshinobu Kanemaru
Shingo vs. Suzuki is also a can’t-miss pairing – it’s not much beyond elbows and faces and the occasional insane strike or strength spot, but that’s really all wrestling needs. Hiromu was an absolute nut here too, doing laps around the ring as he entered and putting his face into the camera long enough to feel like some kind of fourth wall was breaking. He added an energy and speed to this match between the elbowing that made it quite a bit better than the usual undercard tag. ***
3. Hiroshi Tanahashi, Juice Robinson, Jeff Cobb & Master Wato vs. Jay White, KENTA, Taiji Ishimori & Gedo
Not much of a match, but a trip of a line-up – a set of circumstances led us here, but I still cannot track them. Switchblade is teaming with Differ Cup alumni and Gedo, while Tanahashi is with a couple American weirdos and blue-haired Wato who has Hiroyoshi Tenzan rooting for him on from the floor. A trip. **
4. Kazuchika Okada & SHO vs. Will Ospreay & Great O-Khan
I missed all of Tomoyuki Oka, from his Young Lion matches to his run in Rev Pro as Great-O-Kharn. He returned to New Japan as Great-O-Kharn to join Will Ospreay and Bea Priestley in “The Empire” and take out Kazuchika Okada, and then he informed the world via Twitter that his name is now Great-O-Khan.
Again, a set of circumstances led us here – these ones I can at least track. The match was just a showcase, but not of wrestling moves… more a showcase of what to expect from The Empire. O-Khan has a look and I enjoyed him throwing SHO around, though I am suspect of the spot where he rubs his ass in an opponent’s face as well as another New Japan interfering manager – even if this one’s a lady. Can’t even remember one thing Will did here, to be honest. **1/2
5. Tetsuya Naito & BUSHI vs. EVIL & Yujiro Takahashi
Nobody is as stubborn as McMahon but New Japan will get there – Naito vs. EVIL isn’t it and Yujiro is not going to help. Naito/Evil IV might save the series, but I don’t think it will. *3/4
6. G1 Climax – Final: Kota Ibushi vs. SANADA
I liked this and it had the two best near falls of the entire G1 Climax, but it was like the tenth best match of the tournament. It didn’t feel up to par with recent G1 Finals either, but I also liked the… idea of it? Sorry, that wasn’t a question – I liked the idea of it. Is it good? Ah geez. What even is GOOD in an era of every match being good? In an era when so much is the same, an idea can stand out. An idea gives something to think about. Sometimes, instead of watching or even reviewing things – it is when we think things that inspiration happens.
Here was something new, for better or worse: two guys who didn’t come up in the New Japan Dojo, two guys known for their sexiness and the possibility that they are a little stupid. Two guys who are new to this: SANADA in his first G1 final, Ibushi in his third straight but a new role of the apparent king of G1 Climax. There was no gaijin or heel here, just two popular stars who haven’t gone full star yet.
Ibushi and SANADA are both capable of greatness, the former way moreso than the latter. Ibushi and SANADA have also had some real crap matches that didn’t hit, the latter moreso than the former. This had the buzz of a G1 Final and leaned more towards great, but at 35 minutes it was both “paced well” and “kind of boring for a while.” SANADA ran the ropes and played the hits but Ibushi brought the pain with this new character where he hits you harder than you have ever been hit, multiple times.
Eventually the fact that Ibushi got into a kicking contest with the protégé of freaking KAWADA two nights before this caught up to him, and I’m not 100% positive SANADA picked up on that fact but I’m PRETTY sure he did. They traded counters at the end as wrestlers will do and not everything hit clean or even looked cool, but they grabbed a moment when an Ibushi kickout of SANADA’s O’Connor Roll got me and everybody in the building.
Moments later, Ibushi caught SANADA and wrecked him with a Kamigoye for a pinfall that felt as frustratingly certain as that one at HBK superkicked Undertaker into a Pedigree from Triple H. The moment felt ripe for a SANADA comeback, but it was not to be: another Kamigoye – from a man calling himself God no less – sealed his fate. Great match in a world where you need to be better than great to stand out. Still though – nice to have something to think about. ***3/4
Happy Thoughts: The G1 Climax 30 Finals really are very good and New Japan has handled COVID better than basically any wrestling company, but this show didn’t have enough excitement at a time when New Japan could use a spark of excitement. 6/10
