BONUS! NEVER Openweight Six-Man Tag Team Title Tournament – Final: Kazuchika Okada, Toru Yano & SHO vs. Hirooki Goto, Tomohiro Ishii & YOSHI-HASHI (8/9/20)
Six friends have a 6-man tag with all that good wrestling stuff: defined roles, big suplexes, Kazuchika Okada. This was all about YOSHI-HASHI, perennial underdog and occasionally outright bad wrestler, winning his first championship in New Japan after a 12-year career. He delivered on his end, having a fun sequence with Okada early and giving off all the vibes of a guy thinking: I deserve to be here, but how did I get here?
YOSHI-HASHI couldn’t even get the pin in his title win, as Ishii eventually wallops SHO with a lariat for 3 after some well-structured wrestling. ***1/2
1. Hirooki Goto, Tomohiro Ishii & YOSHI-HASHI vs. Yuji Nagata, Yota Tsuji & Yuya Uemura
I think they swapped Yuji Nagata for Gabriel Kidd, a welcome decision despite all the charms of a Young Lion trios team. This had more fire than the usual New Japan undercard match, mostly because of Tsuji and Uemura but sometimes because of Nagata vs. Ishii. Tsuji was able to go toe-to-toe with Ishii briefly too, while Uemura vs. YOSHI at the end felt like a proper Young Lion’s match in all the best ways. I quite enjoyed YOSHI’s self-satisfaction after he was able to chop down young Tsuji too. **1/2
2. Hiroshi Tanahashi, Kota Ibushi, Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Master Wato vs. Taichi, Zack Sabre Jr., Yoshinobu Kanemaru & DOUKI
I am not going to say Suzuki-gun is more tiring than the lowest rungs of the Bullet Club right now, but seeing Tanahashi and Ibushi and even our new prince WATO brawling and selling for these dudes again and again is bad. *1/4
3. KOPW 2020 Title Tournament – Round 1 – No Finishers: Satoshi Kojima vs. El Desperado
There’s something to Kojima making faces at not being able to use the lariat while Desperado admirably works the leg and gets believable near falls, but maybe not 14 minutes of it. Kojima eventually just says fuck it and hits the lariat anyways. *3/4
4. KOPW 2020 Title Tournament – Round 1 – 2-Count Pinfalls: Toru Yano vs. BUSHI
About five minutes of the expected shenanigans before Yano rolls BUSHI up and gets the 2-count, just like that. It was possibly the best case scenario but still a DUD.
5. KOPW 2020 Title Tournament – Round 1 – Submission Match: SHO vs. SANADA
New Japan’s take on piped in crowd heat did not become apparent to me until this very match, and it needs a little work. McMahon has been using this stuff for decades and still doesn’t have it down, but seeing SHO and SANADA trade holds on the mat over occasional eruptions of excitement felt completely off.
The match was fine, maybe even good, but more one of those rock solid wrestling matches than anything worth seeking out. SANADA goes after the knee and SHO eventually just taps out to the figure-four. Why does he do that PowerBreaker if it hurts his knees so much? **3/4
6. KOPW 2020 Title Tournament – Round 1 – Handicap Match: Kazuchika Okada vs. Yujiro Takahashi, Gedo & Jado
Yujiro and the Team No Respect geezers are going to slum it up no matter what, but why does Okada play along? And if he is going to play along, why is the Handicap Match with his bud Gedo the only thing he doesn’t have an interesting take on? *
Happy Thoughts: Canned heat and GIMMICKS made for the most interesting and different New Japan show in quite a while, but this was just not worth it. 2/10
